Trapped
by charlibubble
Summary: with Grissom buried under centuries of rubble in Peru and no flights out of Vegas, will Sara find her way to her husband and will he even be found alive?
1. Chapter 1

Grissom ducked and raised his lantern a little higher. One more passage to go and they would be in what they suspected to be the great hall. He followed the lean man in front of him, narrowing his eyes to focus better on the paintings and carvings on the walls around them. It was fascinating. He felt incredibly privileged to be part of this major discovery. An entire temple hidden for centuries, buried in the side of a mountain. His eyes danced off the walls. The colourful images depicting all kinds of rituals and traditions he had only read about.

As they stepped into the next room he was able to stand and survey his surroundings properly. The room opened out to a peak with a tiny hole on the ceiling. Grissom surmised that at certain times of the month the moon would shine through that hole and bathe the entire chamber with lights. He moved his lantern around catching the glint of pieces of mirror caked in dirt and dust. He moved towards the large stone table placed in the centre of the room and ran his hand along the grainy red surface, fascinated with the carved channels and the intricate mosaic tiling.

"They practiced human sacrifice, it was usually women because they signified fertility"

He spoke out loud but he wasn't talking to anyone in particular. Each member of his team was fascinated by a different part of the room. A different discovery or breakthrough, the room was alive with activity as they all attended to their own specialities. Some sweeping at the statues carefully, some documenting furiously, some snapping photos. Grissom was happy to drink in his surroundings. The walls were tiled almost all the way up, the bright vivacious colours intact even although they were hundreds of years old.

His eyes were drawn to a small beetle scurrying across the sand, it disappeared underground and he knelt beside it intrigued by its vanishing act. He grabbed a small brush from his kit and began sweeping away patches of sand revealing a large stone slab.

"Hey I got something over here"

The team all rushed over, excited at the prospect of a new discovery as they swept away the sand and helped to push the stone slab away revealing a chamber beneath. The air escaping the chamber was stale and thick. Their torches lit on a line of skeleton's, all arranged the same way against one wall and adorned with golden necklaces and bracelets. Grissom quietly slid into the chamber, crouching down to move closer to the bones inside. His torch lit on some small pots in the corner and a smile spread across his face as he regarded them. They were 'sex pots' they reminded him of his wife, she would be fascinated to hear about this discovery.

An archaeologist joined him in the small chamber. His eyes dancing with excitement as he snapped photos of the bodies and pots and eagerly wrote down notes in his book. Above them the rest of the team continued to explore the chamber. It was clear to Grissom that this was some kind of ritualistic church. Where the priests would perform their sacrifice and then place the bodies in this chamber.

He could hear a commotion above him, someone had found a door and they were trying to push it. He could feel the floor beneath him shaking and trembling as the stone scraped away.

"Hey, are you sure that's a good idea?"

It was too late, the 2 men pushed the heavy door across and the walls began to crumble. Rubble started falling from the roof and the team all exchanged looks. They knew there was no use running, if the building was going to collapse they wouldn't make it out anyway. A young woman grabbed her radio. As the ground shook violently and the walls began to shift.

"SOS! SOS! The chamber has been compromised. Repeat. The chamber has been compromised! We're gonna need rescuing guys!"

Then everything was black.


	2. Chapter 2

Sara was having a bad day. She had slept in for her shift, that never happens but she'd pulled a double the night before and fell asleep curled up in front of her laptop after a long chat with her husband. He was out exploring an ancient tomb they had found in a mountainside today, she however got landed with dumpster diving. That was after she dropped her cell phone into the washbasin, her blow dryer blew up and she accidentally tripped over a rug and broke one of Grissom's framed butterflies. Not a good day at all.

When she arrived back from her case she came face to face with the suspect from the previous night. Catherine was supposedly wrapping that up for her, she hadn't expected the woman to still be on the premises. She was still angry with Sara for disproving her alibi and before brass knew what was coming she had landed a left hook square on Sara's mouth. The police officers didn't know which one they should be holding back. Nick hastily ushered her into the locker room to calm her down.

"Hey, what's up with you?"

Sara looked at him, her anger subsiding but her lip swelling and bleeding.

"I am having the worst day"

Nick handed her an ice pack and she held in to her mouth sheepishly.

"Are you going to be ok?"

"I'll be fine, just ... just need a break I guess"

"That's right, when are you leaving?"

Sara was going to Peru, to be with her husband for 4 whole days. It had been planned for weeks and she didn't mind admitting she was excited. It had been 4 weeks since they'd been in the same room. 4 long weeks since she'd felt his arms around her.

"3 days, 2 hours and … 28 minutes"

"Not that you're counting"

Nick turned and left leaving her to the solitude of the locker room. She stared at herself in the mirror. Stared at her now fat lip. Great. Just in time for her conjugal visit.

"Phew! I guess someone got the dumpster dive!"

Greg was standing at the doorway smiling his huge teasing smile at her until she looked around.

"And the dumpster fought back? What happened?"

"Ugh, nothing. Just an irate suspect and a really bad day."

"Beer after work?"

"Absolutely, you buying?"

"Only if you're showering!"

She was seconds away from throwing her ice pack at him when he left the room and she forced herself to move on and shower. She was all kinds of filthy she didn't even want to think about it. She grabbed her toiletries from her locker and left the room. Leaving her cell phone lying on the metal bench as it lit up with an unknown caller.

She felt altogether more human when she came back to the locker room. Gone were the dirt smears and putrid smell, replaced instead by her signature apple scent and soft dry curls in her hair. Her lip was still swollen, she cursed that woman under her breath as she examined her injuries in the mirror. Sitting on the bench she noticed her cell phone, flipping it open it registered 5 missed calls, all unknown numbers. She was half tempted to get Archie to track them down for her when Greg appeared at the door.

"Your carriage awaits, rocky"

"I'm driving"

"No way, it's got to be my turn"

Nick appeared behind them, his arms draping over both their shoulders.

"I think you'll find I'm driving"

He snatched the keys before they could protest and marched ahead of them calling in to Catherine on the way.

They settled into their usual booth at the diner, they didn't even have to order anymore. They frequented this place so often the waiter knew what they wanted and ordered it on sight. Now that was service. The sunlight shone in through the windows announcing the start of a glorious day, they would sleep through most of it. Rising just as the sun began to nod under the horizon and the real fun began. The chatter at the table died down as their food order arrived and they ate.

When Sara's phone lit up she almost didn't answer it. It was likely to be one of 3 things. The lab calling her in early, the doctor's surgery about to hound her about her last iron levels or Grissom. There was only one of those 3 she would even entertain talking to right now and it wasn't Ecklie. She gazed at the caller ID suspiciously. 'Unknown caller' she turned it around so Greg could read it, exchanging a suspicious look with him before spooning more eggs into her mouth. Before she could stage a protest Greg had the phone to his ear.

"Sara Sidle's Sexy Stockings Party, how may I direct your call?"

She narrowed her eyes at him as his expression changed from one of amusement to one of fear and he passed the phone to her.

"It's about Grissom"

Her heart was racing, what did he mean it was about Grissom, her Grissom?

"Hello, this is Mrs Grissom, yes"

She could see Greg stifle a laugh hearing her refer to herself as Mrs Grissom. She took note to punish him for it later. She listened intently to the man on the other end of the phone as the team listened to her.

"What kind of an accident"

They exchanged looks, no one daring to even breathe too loud as they strained to hear the other side of the conversation.

"Is he hurt?... you're sure? … yes, I'll be there as soon as possible"

Sara was gathering up her things without even acknowledging the team. She had to go to Gil, she had to help find him. They were all staring at her expectantly. Waiting for their explanation.

"Sara? Is everything ok?"

"I…uh… Gil… Grissom has been in an accident. They've had a cave in. they're trapped. All of them. I have to go to Peru"


	3. Chapter 3

The darkness was heavy, wrapping around him and closing in. Gil Grissom was not the kind of person to have phobia's but in his current situation he wasn't surprised he was feeling a little claustrophobic. He slowed his breathing and tried to focus his thoughts through the haze. He felt like he was spinning, like the world wouldn't stop moving long enough for his brain to catch up. He closed his eyes and tried to get some perspective, focussing on a fixed point in front of him and mentally checking he could still move his extremities.

The dust was still falling from the ceiling. The once glorious chamber they had been standing in had been reduced to piles of rubble. The statues and carvings long gone. Grissom had been lucky he was in the burial chamber, his eyes fell onto the young woman who had been calling into the radio. She was almost covered in rubble, her blonde hair soaked with the blood pool which was steadily expanding over the floor. Her lifeless eyes stared at him. he had seen many bodies over the years but they never looked at him with so much fear.

"hello?"

The voice echoed through the silence of the chamber. Grissom could hear sobbing and shuffling around the room. a young man approached him, his arm heavily injured and blood seeping from a wound on his head. He was almost completely grey, covered in rubble dust.

"Dr Grissom! Are you injured?"

Grissom looked around his body, trying to form an answer. He suspected a dislocated shoulder and there was a large slab of rock across his middle. He could feel a dull ache in the general direction of his legs but he wasn't sure of any injuries. He was pinned, trapped, stuck and there was no way this weedy young man could get him out by himself.

"is there anyone else?"

The man shook his head, he was beginning to panic. Grissom recognised the rapid eye movements and heavy breathing.

"you have to calm down Gerald, panic will not get us anywhere. Go get the radio from Stephanie, we need some help"

Gerald looked around the room, his eyes settling on his team mates all around him. some were dead, some seriously injured. He had never seen such carnage before in his life.

He found Stephanie lying lifeless in the rubble, he tried hard to hold back his vomit but it was no use. He wasn't cut out for rifiling through bodies. The radio was in her hand, he was surprised that her hands were already stiff as he prised it from her fingers and handed it to Grissom.

"thank you, now go and see if anyone else needs help"

Grissom held the radio up to his mouth and took a deep breath. He had no idea how to describe where they were, the only people who had any idea were in this room. he wondered if the young man they had left behind would have any recollection of their position, he could be their only hope of being found and he was certain if he couldn't get out of this hole then he would die there.

"base camp – come in, this is Dr Gil Grissom. We are in need of assistance"

He waited with baited breath for a response, the seconds ticked by slowly but he heard nothing from the radio.

"base camp – come in. we need assistance"

He was sure if he listened really hard he could make out voices amoungst the static, the dizziness was beginning to get out of control again as he tried one last time to get a response.

"base camp… we're trapped .. SOS"

As he descended into blackness again he could almost hear the radio calling out quietly into the room.

"Dr Grissom? Dr Grissom? We're trying to find you have you sustained any injuries … Dr Grissom?"


	4. Chapter 4

As Sara stepped into their apartment she was overwhelmed by a multitude of emotions. They didn't know where he was, they didn't know if he was hurt, they didn't even know if he was alive. The mere thought sent shivers down her spine and filled her with horror. She already had her bag packed, she smiled sadly at how excited she had been at the prospect of spending some time with him. She missed him, a lot more than she had realised.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. She frowned as she approached it, no-one ever visited them. She opened the door with a sad smile, gesturing for Nick to come in. he looked every bit as worried as her and was carrying a bag.

"Want some company?"

"Thanks Nicky, I'm almost ready"

Taking one last look around their home she sighed as she grabbed her bag and joined Nick in the living room. He was looking at a photo in a frame, an old photo of them from way back when they first met. All those years ago, she smiled as she thought about it. She knew she loved him from the very first moment.

"I've never seen this before"

"I don't carry it around with me or anything"

Nick regarded her carefully, detecting the sadness in her voice as she gazed at the photograph in his hands.

"He'll be ok"

She smiled a sad smile as she headed towards the door.

"Let's go"

When they arrived at the airport it was a hive of activity. Hundreds of people coming and going, meeting family members and long lost friends or setting out to find their fortune in the Casino's. The people in the Airport always fascinated her, they headed straight for the departures bench keen to get on a flight as soon as possible. The queue snaked on for what felt like miles, everyone seemed to want out of Vegas this week.

When they finally made it to the front of the queue the irritated clerk was less than helpful.

"We have no direct flights to Peru, Ma'am."

"Well give me what you have, I have to get there"

The woman tapped away quickly on her computer shaking her head and clicking her tongue.

"I got one with an overnight in LA and a connection in Mexico City. It leaves in 30 minutes"

Sara rolled her eyes, two days just to get to her husband? It seemed like a lifetime. She handed her credit card over without hearing the price. It was irrelevant anyway she would have sold her soul to be holding him in her arms right now.

The clerk handed her two tickets and Sara perched anxiously on a chair beside Nick watching as the overhead clock ticked away the seconds. The people in the airport all looked so happy, she found herself glaring at them. Cursing their happy reunions as they embraced each other smiling broadly.

"Hey, I'm gonna go get a soda, you want anything?"

Sara shook her head and watching him leave. He was a good friend and she knew he was just as worried about Grissom as she was. He disappeared into a nearby store followed by the throng of people before sirens filled the air and a multitude of police officers filtered into the airport. Sara watched as they ran through the masses of people.

The bomb squad.

Great.

She sighed heavily and threw herself back in her chair. She knew there was no way they were getting out of Vegas by plane now. Not tonight anyway.

"What's going on?"

Nick was by her side again, passing her a soda. She smiled at his persistence, he was always looking after her. She wondered if Grissom had asked him to, they were always very close. An announcement sounded across the airport.

"Ladies and Gentlemen may I please have your attention. Due to an emergency situation, please go to the nearest emergency exit and safely exit the building immediately. Follow instructions of an Airport employee. Thank you"

People stood around exchanging glances with each other unsure what to do until the security guards and clerks started moving them along towards the exit doors. Nick grabbed her by the hand and pulled her along behind him, moving quickly in and out of the people until they were outside. The chatter was maddening here as all the people milled around outside waiting for instructions or directions. Nick continued through the crowd, continued across the road and stopped outside his car.

"Where are we going?"

Nick smiled as he opened the door for her and she slipped into the seat.

"We're going to Peru"

"Nicky, you can't drive to Peru you know"

Nick started the engine and pulled out of the garage.

"We can drive to LA though. Let go get Grissom!"


	5. Chapter 5

The ringing in his ears woke him up, it wailed through his brain like nails on a blackboard. It took him a few seconds to remember where he was, looking around at the piles of stones it was hardly the same place he remembered. The air was filled with a copper smell, that combined with the dirt and dust thrown up by the cave in created a thick atmosphere which made him feel uneasy.

The radio beside his hand crackled and buzzed, he tried to reach for it but it was too far away. He had obviously dropped it when he fell unconscious. He tried to stretch out but the slab of rock over his middle was heavier than he remembered, heavier and more restrictive. He winced in pain as his eyes were drawn to the deep red stain soaking into his shirt.

"Dr Grissom!"

Gerald was beside him once again crouching down and looking at the blood with fear in his eyes.

"I can't find anyone else, I don't think anyone else survived"

Grissom nodded, he suspected as much. He was surprised that they had survived it had been a catastrophic cave in. he suddenly felt incredibly thirsty, he reached out to his waist to get his water bottle but it was crushed under the rocks.

"Can you get me some water?"

Gerald looked at him with a confused expression.

"Get someone's water bottle, they won't be needing it."

He nodded and disappeared out of view. Grissom sighed and thought about his team. Out of all the people he could have been trapped with down there he had to be stuck with the most inexperienced of them all. Gerald was a good kid but he was a graduate student, he had barely set foot out of university and this was his first proper expedition. Grissom wondered if it would put him off for life as he heard him retching at the other side of the hall. He didn't like dead bodies either he noted.

The young man scurried back and handed Grissom three bottles.

"Are you going to be ok?"

Grissom looked at him, his eyes were wide and worried. The poor boy was terrified and even although Grissom didn't entirely believe it he told him he would be fine.

Taking a huge gulp of his water Grissom noticed the searing pain in his chest as he swallowed, he could feel a pulsating around the area of the stone. He knew it was from blood loss. He was incredibly uncomfortable but for all he knew the huge slab of rock was the only thing keeping him alive right now. His only hope was for someone to find them on the outside.

Then he heard his cell phone chiming, his heart leaped and he felt around with his hands to get to it. He couldn't believe their luck, a cell phone signal was like gold dust! His hands felt down his torso, they tried to reach his pockets but the rock was in the way.

"Gerald, can you see if you can get my cell phone from the other side of this rock?"

Gerald scurried to the other end, he tried to heave the rock away inciting a cry of pain from Grissom. He tried to slip his hands under the rock and feel for the phone but it was no use. The cell phone stopped chiming and they both let out a defeated sigh. They couldn't get to it, even if it sounded again they knew there was no use chasing it.

"How are we going to get out of here?" Gerald was thinking out loud, his face pale and drawn his eyes red and scared. "You can't move, everyone's dead, no one knows where we are and we have no way of telling anyone. We're going to die here!"

He covered his face in his hands and cried. Grissom was momentarily stunned by his outburst. He wracked his brains for the right words to say, words of support or encouragement but his mind was blank. He looked at the young boy and took a deep breath, about to comfort him when the hall echoed with another voice.

"Gerald? … Help me. I.. I think I'm hurt"

Gerald and Grissom locked eyes, someone else was still alive!

Gerald ran off in the direction of the voice and Grissom could hear rocks being moved and scraped aside. A woman cried out into the room as Gerald heaved her out from under the rubble and carried her to the space near Grissom. She was badly injured. Grissom could see the bone sticking out from her shin and the blood dripping down her leg.

"Rip someone's shirt into a straight length Gerald and find me a straight stick. See if you can get Edward's cane."

Gerald nodded and ran off as Grissom looked at the woman. She was clearly in a great deal of pain but she didn't cry, she was in shock. Grissom noticed all the signs as she gazed around the room in bewilderment. Her pale skin, uneven pupils, sweating and shaking. He reached out and threw a water bottle towards her, most of the water spilling out as she clutched it in her hands and drew it to her mouth. When Gerald returned he dropped his things in front of Grissom and helped the woman to move closer to him. Grissom ripped the fabric, tying one length under her knee to try and stop the speed of the bleeding. He used the other two lengths of fabric to tie the cane to her lower leg.

"It's not perfect, but it will do till we get picked up. You have to stay off it"

The girl nodded but she didn't say anything her eyes were still darting around the hall looking for a way out, looking for a beam of light or a hole in the rubble.

There was nothing.


	6. Chapter 6

Sara felt a certain sense of relief as they left the Vegas strip behind, she lay her head against the window and stared at the cars they past. They were mostly a blur, colours flashing by as they sped along the highway. Usually by now she'd have re-tuned the radio from Nick's usual country station to one of her favourites, somehow the music they listened to didn't seem important anymore. Her thoughts were on LA, on getting to LA in time for their connecting flight. Nick was singing along to the irritatingly happy singer on the radio as she sat in silence. A car was holding speed beside theirs, a small child in the backseat was smiling and waving at them and she glared back with narrow eyes as Nick laughed at her.

"what?"

"poor kid's just trying to make friends Sara!"

She turned to look at him again as he stuck his tongue out at her and she returned the sentiment before rolling her eyes and turning away from the window.

"I thought Grissom was supposed to be the anti social one in your relationship?"

"he is!... what? he is! I'm not anti social, I'm anti … letting your kid wave at strangers from the back of your car"

she settled back into her position, staring out of the window and pondering the dire situation her beloved husband found himself in. Nick looked at her as though sensing her sadness.

"you know Grissom once told me 'believe you can and you're halfway there' … we'll get to him Sara"

She thought about this for a while, the statement running through her brain before she broke into a smile.

"he once told me 'nothing is impossible, even the word says I'm possible'"

"the man has a quote for everything!"

"he sure does … you know it used to infuriate me. His need to quote people all the time. I even caught myself doing it a few times"

She thought back to all the things he had taught her over the years, the many quotes she had stored in her brain. The quotes were somehow not saved as 'William Shakespeare' or 'Winston Churchill' they were all Grissom, like her inner voice was programmed to sound like him. her conscience quoting passages from the bible in his calming tones. She smiled at the very thought of his voice and how his quotes had influenced her life.

The traffic was beginning to thicken and slow down. They peered through the tailback to see what was going on. A line of police cars blocked their way over the state line, the lights flashing and the officer's peering in every car individually before letting it pass.

Sara sighed heavily. Everything seemed to be against them. Nick fixed his jaw as he stared straight ahead at the road block and then around at the desert. He reached over and flipped open the glove compartment. Sara looked on confused by what he was doing as he removed a folded piece of paper from the box and slipped his badge put of his jacket pocket. The car accelerated towards the block of traffic before Nick steered it quickly onto the sands at the side of the highway and towards the road block.

"what are you doing?"

"'sometimes you gotta bend the rules so that laws don't get broken'… what? Grissom's not the only one who can quote….You've never seen Taxi?"

Sara shook her head as she stared at him in bewilderment.

"there's no law getting broken here Nick, except this one"

He waved the paper and winked in her direction as they pulled up towards the startled policeman.

"they don't know that"

A hefty policeman pulled his gun on them as Nick slammed on the breaks of his car. the sand cast up from the wheels swirled around them like a smoke screen as the officer coughed and spluttered his way towards them. he regarded them with some suspicion as he peered in through the open drivers window.

"what's the meaning of this?, we have a road block here"

Nick and Sara exchanged glances, this guy seemed quite irate.

"I'm Nick Stokes, this is Sara Sidle. We're with the Las Vegas Crime Lab sir. We need to get through. It's a matter of urgency"

He waved the paper around before quickly throwing it on the dashboard and watching as the police officer wrestled with his inner turmoil. He was sweating profusely and clearly unsure of what to do next. Nick decided to take charge of the situation, passing the officer his badge through the window.

"Officer….. Hempley? Look I know you have work to do sir, so do we. We really have to get to LA or the boss is gonna have our heads. Now I don't really want to be bringing trouble to you're door but if he asks us why we were late… well I aint gonna lie to him now am I?"

Officer Hempley looked fit to explode with the weight of his decision. Sara had to stare out of her window to hide her smile at the amusement of it all. She spotted the kid who had stuck his tongue out at her earlier. He was now drawing on his window with crayon's. it took all her self control not to point it out to Nick with a smug expression.

The officer waved them through, handing Nick his badge back and they breathed a sigh of relief. Sara reached for the paper and unfolded it to reveal a take out menu. She threw Nick a questioning look.

"people will believe what they want to believe, its just up to us to make sure they want to believe what we want them to"

Sara rolled her eyes, it was one thing Grissom throwing quotes at her all the time but now Nicky was doing it too? Her brain actually hurt from trying to keep up.

"Taxi again?"

He shot her a smile with a glint in his eyes.

"nope, Grissom"

"and what would he have believed if he had asked to see this mystery Warrant?"

Nick pondered the question for a moment before smiling at her.

"then I guess we'd have had a little Bonnie and Clyde thing going on then, baby!"


	7. Chapter 7

Grissom was beginning to feel a real need to move, to extract himself from under the rock and move around. He wasn't entirely sure it was a good idea but he knew that eventually he would have to do something. He shuffled a little in his position trying to determine the extent of his injuries.

He ignored the burning pain in his chest as he concentrated on moving his legs. Every bit of focus he had in his brain went into moving his legs but he was almost certain it didn't work. At the very least he couldn't feel them moving, at the very worse he wasn't able to.

He thought about the implications of this, if he couldn't move his legs there was a very real chance he wouldn't make it out of their prison. He wondered if Gerald would be able to make it out on his own. It was beginning to look like their best hope for survival since neither Grissom or Karen were in any fit state to be escaping, it was all on Gerald.

The heat was beginning to build up in their chamber, with 3 bodies worth of heat and no fresh air it was only going to get worse. Their water supply was limited, Grissom estimated no more than 3 days' worth between them. And that was if they were clever about how they used it.

"Gerald?"

He looked around for the younger man, spying him near the sacrificial table. He looked up and ran over to his mentor, crouching down beside him eagerly.

"Can we try to move this rock now, I've got to try and move"

Gerald looked positively horrified, he eyed the huge slab of rock and the blood on Grissom's shirt. His breathing was speeding up, Grissom knew if he was going to get any help from Gerald he was going to have to calm him down and move quickly.

"I just want you to try rocking it so that I can pull out a little."

Gerald nodded and moved towards the rock, his shirt was saturated with sweat as he wrapped his arms around the top and began shifting and shuffling the rock finally finding a rhythm.

Grissom had to hold his breath as the rock moved around on top of him. It felt like every tiny shift was crushing his bones and it took all his self-control not to call out. The rocking was helping him to edge out, little by little. His stomach edged out, followed by his pelvis.

Gerald looked at him with concern, he was struggling to maintain his rhythm but he was keen to help Grissom out. The sight of the wound on his abdomen was almost enough to make him vomit but he managed to swallow his fear and concentrate on the rock.

Grissom was ready for one final push. He was really struggling with the exertion, he hadn't felt such intense pain in all his life as he heaved his body away from the rock. Only his legs were still under it, they were numb. Either from being under the rock for so long or from spinal damage. He didn't have the luxury of time to worry about it, Gerald was getting tired and his rocking was getting as erratic as Grissom's breathing. Time was something he didn't have right now.

He took a deep breath and braced himself. Grasping the edges of the pit with his hands he timed the movements of the rock and heaved himself out of the hole almost screaming in pain as he did so.

Gerald dropped the rock and ran to him.

"Dr Grissom! Are you alright?"

Grissom looked at Gerald as he heaved in deep breaths and tried to remain conscious, his mouth was dry. Really dry. And the room was spinning faster and faster and his eyes were heavy. His hands were drawn to his abdomen. He could feel warmth travelling across it slowly, he knew it was blood. It was a risk he was aware of when he had asked Gerald to help him move. He wasn't naive of the possibilities.

He stared at his hands, they were covered in his blood. His whole body ached and his neck was suddenly too weak to hold his head up. He suddenly didn't have the energy to hold his hands up or keep his eyes open.

His body was giving up on him, the last thing he saw was Gerald's worried eyes and then there was nothing.


	8. Chapter 8

The rolling desert and sparse landscape began to give way to the pavements and buildings of towns and villages as they whizzed past in a blur. Sara felt a shiver up her spine, it filled her with a horrible sense of dread that she just couldn't shake. She knew Grissom was hurt, she could feel it deep down in her soul. It was strangely comforting, if she clung onto that feeling she felt closer to him.

At least he wasn't dead.

By the time the city rolled in it was dark. The journey had taken almost 6 hours, 6 hours without stopping. She wasn't sure she could actually feel her legs anymore and she definitely needed a rest room. She gazed over at Nick, she was aware she had spent most of the journey staring out of the window in silence. He had just kept on driving, not once shuffling in his seat or sighing in discomfort. Driving on and on without a word uttered. He must be exhausted she thought to herself.

She looked at her watch it was 10pm, they hadn't slept since before their last shift but she didn't think she could sleep anyway. Nick pulled up outside a hotel nearest the airport. Their flight was at 1pm the next day, it felt like a lifetime away.

"I'll buy you dinner?" she offered hopefully "for doing all the driving, and putting up with my antisocial companionship"

Nick stretched out his aching legs and arched his back as he slipped out of the car. They locked eyes over the top of the car. She was pleading with him, and he knew it. She didn't want to be alone.

"Ok, but I'm taking a shower first"

They checked into the hotel wearily. It had been a long day, a shower was exactly what she needed right now. Their rooms were adjacent to each other; they decided to meet in the hall in 30 minutes to get food.

Sara sat down on her bed heavily. She wasn't very sure what she should be doing. Other than getting to Peru and taking a shower. Her subconscious was willing her to try his cell again. She knew it was probably a fruitless exercise, that if he hadn't answered the first 20 times she had called he was unlikely to answer this time.

She still had to try.

She lifted the hotel telephone dialling 9 for an outside line. She raised her cell phone up to scroll through for his number. She knew that she needn't have bothered, she knew it by heart but she wanted to make sure she got it right. Then she spotted her missed calls, it couldn't hurt to give the base camp a call. Maybe they had found them already.

"I'm calling to find out about Dr Grissom's exploration party?"

"Are you a journalist? I've already told 30 journalists I will NOT be making a quote, not until we have established what we are dealing with…"

Sara was frowning into the phone, it had been over 12 hours since she had taken the first call, they had probably waited at least an hour, maybe more, before calling her and they were still nor further forward?

"You still don't know where they are do you?"

There was a loaded silence on the other end of the line.

"I… No Comment"

"I'm not a journalist…"

She was too late, the irate man on the other end of the line had already hung up but she had gotten the answer she needed. Grissom had been missing for more than 12 hours and they still didn't know where he was. Her logical brain told her that the chances of them finding him alive, if at all, were slim. She scanned her brains for survival statistics.

72 hours.

That was the time scale, after 72 hours the survival rate dropped well below 20%. They had 60 hours left. 60 hours to find them, secure them and rescue them. She felt her heart sinking despite her inner dialogue telling her to keep a positive mental attitude. She solemnly set an alarm on her phone.

60 hours.

She hoped he wouldn't have to hear it chime on her own.

The shower washed away the tears she shed, she was always more teary when she hadn't slept. Give her another few hours and she would be hell to be around, Snappy and temperamental. Well more so than usual anyway.

She threw on a pair of jeans and a top and gathered her hair in a ponytail. She wasn't in the mood for making an effort; it was only Nick she was seeing anyway. He was waiting for her in the hallway, a fresh shirt on his back and a smile on his face.

"You heard anything yet?"

She debated whether telling him was a good thing. She hadn't even been able to bring herself to tell Betty, Grissom's own mother. She felt a pang of guilt when she thought about it. The idea of telling her hadn't actually crossed her mind until they were driving towards LA. She wasn't even sure she would have been able to tell her, she wasn't very confident in her signing abilities. She was positive she didn't know how to sign 80% of the words she would need to tell her what she needed to. She silently vowed to send her an email when she got back to the hotel.

"They don't even know where he is yet"

Nick reaction mirrored her own. Anger, confusion and fear all registered on his face as he too thought about the statistics. They were trained to do this, to analyse situations quickly and effectively. It didn't make it any easier to know the odds, if anything it made it harder.

Ignorance was indeed bliss at times.

"Let's go get food, I'm famished"

He raised his arm and she slipped her hand through it, glad to have a distraction and a companion. If left to her own devices she knew her evening would have consisted of a huge tub of ice cream and a weepy movie as she sat by her phone waiting for news.

Food, beers and good company were what she needed.

She knew that Grissom, her Grissom would never give up. He would never do that to her, no matter what she knew that with Grissom's last breath he would be trying to get to her, just like she had.

Just like she would.

Everytime.


	9. Chapter 9

A sound was penetrating through his subconscious. He was stuck for a moment between enjoying the peaceful, relaxing quiet of his mind and reaching out to the sound. It crackled and groaned, it made his head hurt. He looked around realising he wasn't in the temple anymore, the rocks and carvings had been replaced by a bright imposing whiteness. It was almost impossible to distinguish where he was. It was an altogether new place to him but somehow it was also comfortable and familiar.

Then he saw her, Sara, standing there just out of his reach. He held his breath as he watched her bathed in white light her hair gently blowing around her face. She didn't speak; her mouth was curled into a gentle half smile as she watched him. She gestured to him, her long fingers curling and uncurling telling him to go to her. He wanted to go to her more than anything, he wanted to let go.

His hands instinctively moved to his lower abdomen and he was amazed to find it completely intact. No more blood, no more pain. He was completely cured and that when he realized why everything was bathed in that strange hazy glow. Still he thought about remaining, if heaven was an illusion then this must be it. What more could he want from his life than her?

He stood and moved closer to her, the crackling, rasping sound growing duller with every step he took. He was aware that by moving to her he was loosening his grip on reality but he was like a moth to a flame. He had no control over it, his soul was willing him to be with her. She reached out her hand to him and he looked into her eyes.

She may have looked like Sara but this was by no means his Sara. There was something strangely empty about the look in her eyes. Something so completely unlike his Sara that it almost frightened him and he pulled his outstretched hand away as quickly as he could. She was an illusion, his subconscious may be able to create an image of Sara but it failed at creating what made her so special, what made him love her so much that it almost hurt. No one could create the deepness of her eyes; no one could come close to mirroring his wife's beloved soul.

He had to get back to her.

He clung onto the sound, trying desperately to merge his unconscious brain with reality. Trying desperately to wake and keep fighting for her. Sara was waiting for him, searching for him he knew she was. He knew he had to fight to stay alive even if he only got to see her one more time, even if he had to die in the end he'd rather do it in her arms than anywhere else in the world.

The sound was becoming clearer. He could make out Gerald's voice, it was scared and desperate and it echoed eerily through the rocks.

"Dr Grissom? Dr Grissom please wake up, please, please I can't do it on my own"

His eyes slowly flickered open, everything was blurry. He couldn't seem to bring anything into focus no matter how hard he concentrated. The dominant feeling in his body was pain. Heat radiated up his body from his pelvis, it was almost unbearable and he wondered for a moment whether it would have been better to stay in the relative bliss that was his unconscious.

"Oh thank god, Dr Grissom! I thought you were dying!"

Grissom frowned as he focussed on the young man's face. He blinked several times in an attempt to dismiss the glow that had followed him from his dreams. The room was still spinning, completely out of control it spun faster and faster around Gerald's head. Even when he closed his eyes to block it out he still felt like he was spinning. He felt hands on his stomach and realised that Gerald was desperately trying to mop up the blood and control the bleeding. His hands were stained red and glistening in the dim light afforded by the small lanterns he had gathered up.

"I think I am"

Grissom gasped, he knew he was in trouble. His grasp on reality was becoming very hard to keep hold of. He had to concentrate every cell of his body on just staying awake long enough to satisfy Gerald that he wasn't dead. Pretty soon he was sure that his weak hold on consciousness would slip away. He could feel the cloud brushing over him, coaxing him into the darkness of sleep. He had been able to postpone death by clinging onto the one thing in his life that was worth living for. He wasn't sure how long he could hold onto her.


	10. Chapter 10

They went to a little kitsch bar and diner, all decked out like a 1950's restaurant and adorned with photographs of Elvis and Sinatra and Marilyn Monroe. It was dark enough for people to remain inconspicuous but light enough to read the text on the menus or on the mini jukeboxes which sat on every table.

Sara headed straight for the bar, she was so tense Nick was literally just waiting for her to snap and crumple into a heap on the floor. It had been a long time since he had been around Sara like this.

She ordered 3 drinks for herself and sank them all in one gulp in quick succession as Nick watched. The uneasy feeling beginning to form a knot of worry in his stomach. He had to diffuse this situation somehow. If he didn't take control she would surely go into self-destruct mode, he had seen it before. She was staring at the menu, pretending to be really interested in the text but he could see her eyes were clouded over, she wasn't focussing on the text at all, she was fighting her tears.

"Let's get a booth"

He sunk his drink, wincing as the liquid burned in his throat. He had decided to go for the friendly approach, he couldn't take the worry away from her but he could drink with her and turn the topic of conversation. They slid into a small booth and a waitress took their food order. It was lucky they were in a town that was not unlike Vegas, everything was open 24 hours.

Nick pondered how to turn the conversation in a more positive direction. Right now she wasn't saying a word, they sat in silence as she studied the marks on the table with fake interest. It wasn't usually an uncomfortable silence with Sara, he was usually as happy to sit in silence with her as he was to be indulging in a bit of back and forth teasing with her. This was different, she wasn't quiet because she was comfortable or had nothing to say, she was quiet because she was scared, scared that if she voiced what was on her mind it might come true.

"Hey, Greggo would love it here wouldn't he?"

His words broke through her thoughts, suddenly bringing her back into the room and she looked around at all the tacky memorabilia and photographs.

"He sure would"

"He'd be in his element tipping his hat at the waitresses"

"God I hate that hat"

Nick notched it up as a victory; she was smiling and laughing as they spoke about Greg's unfortunate fashion choices over the years. It was good to find something other than Grissom to talk about but eventually the conversation always seemed to come back to him. Nick could only skirt the subject so many times before he had to face it head on so he decided to indulge her and talk about Grissom.

"Hey, has Griss ever taken you on a rollercoaster?"

Sara narrowed her eyes at his question but a small smile danced on the corners of her mouth.

"Of course. That's his thing"

"Well did he ever tell you about when he took me on one?"

Sara was intrigued; he could see it in her eyes as she sat up in her chair to listen.

"No, he didn't"

Nick relived the fateful day Grissom had chosen to share with him his diversion. It wasn't long after he had been the victim of Nigel Crane and he had been struggling to sleep. It didn't help that Nick had been drinking the night before and had just had a huge cheeseburger. Grissom had, without warning, whisked him off to 'the Desperado' - a 209ft, 90mph rollercoaster.

Nick could never be accused of not being game for anything. He considered himself quite open minded and adventurous but at that moment the very thought of flying around in a rickety little cart on some ancient steel rails made him queasy. Grissom had been positively buzzing with excitement as they sat, side by side in the front carriage. Nicks stomach was somersaulting as the train slowly clicked its way upwards. As it crested the peak Grissom had whispered at Nick to smile for the camera. In truth Nick was focussing all his attention on keeping his lunch where it was and not looking down. Thy hit the first curve and his stomach jerked violently. He spent the rest of the ride vomiting and apologising to an obviously very embarrassed but also very amused Gilbert Grissom.

Nick hunted in his wallet and passed her a small tattered photograph. They were both young in it, on the curve of the desperado's huge drop. Grissom's smile wide and eyes happy, Nick looking a rather peachy shade of green.

"I can't believe you were sick Nicky! I'm so disappointed in you!"

She was teasing him, laughing at his misfortune but there was still sadness in her eyes as she stared at the photograph.

"Hey next time your hung over I dare you to take on the desperado and a burger!"

They spent most of the night reminiscing. Nick tried to keep it mostly upbeat. They really didn't need to be thinking about the death and despair they witnessed every day, not right now. The meal was soon polished off and the table littered with empty glasses. The waitress approached them and casually began clearing them away.

"Hey folks, the diner's closed now. Would you mind moving into the bar?"

She gestured to the other side of the building and they noticed for the first time that all the booths were empty. The bar was even dimmer than the diner had been, music sounded out quietly from the wall speakers and a few other people milled about nursing their glasses with the same enthusiasm of someone about to jump of the golden gate bridge. Nick and Sara slipped onto two stools at the bar and ordered another drink.

They were both definitely intoxicated by now, Sara kept leaning over too far and almost falling off her chair and Nick was sure if he concentrated enough he could pick up his glass first time this time. When Sara got hit on by the smelly old guy in the corner they knew it was time to leave. The night was crisp and fresh, although LA was a bustling city there was a minimal amount of traffic and the streets were quiet. They headed to their hotel as Sara told Nick all about the first time she met Grissom. She spoke of it with such fondness in her voice that he almost felt like he was there. He had never been to one of Grissom's lectures. An unfortunate circumstance of working with the great man himself was you very rarely got time off together and the staff were never funded to take one of his lectures. He was however privileged to have been granted one to one tuition with him, a fact which he felt had placed him in good stead in both his career and in his life. Grissom had been and always would be his mentor, his adviser, his hero almost.

"We walked like this a lot"

Nick realised he hadn't really paid attention to the last few sentences of her story. He had been lost in his own thoughts and memories. She could obviously read his expression.

"In San Francisco, when Gil took me to dinner we would walk for hours. Like this"

She squeezed his arm and laid her head on his shoulder. He was suddenly very proud that he could be there for her when she needed him.

He wouldn't let Grissom down, not when it mattered.


	11. Chapter 11

Grissom slowly became aware of a female presence. He had completely forgotten about the woman they found alive in the rubble. Gerald had moved her to a safer place while she slept off the shock of her injuries. She was hovering over him, speaking in urgent tones and barking orders at Gerald.

He found this quite amusing, poor Gerald was getting ordered about by everyone. He was having some sort of weird out of body experience. Karen was speaking as though she was underwater and for some reason he just couldn't respond. It was like he was stuck in his body but he couldn't control it anymore. Everything was out of focus and moving in such a strange way he could only stare in bewilderment.

Karen had fashioned a make-shift dressing from a first aid kit they had found and some clothing. She had done a pretty good job too, the dressing felt good and supportive. The pain was still there but it had lessened somewhat, or he had gotten used to it. Karen crushed a concoction of tablets with a rock and mixed them with some water before giving it to him to drink.

"That should help, Dr Grissom. I'm sure help is on its way"

Grissom wished he could be that sure, he wasn't sure of anything at that present moment. Gerald was trying to dig through some of the loose rubble. Grissom knew it was a bad idea to be moving already unstable rocks but his mind was moving too fast for his mouth and he only managed to mumble a few words together.

She seemed to know what he meant though because she called to Gerald to stop and held her to move Grissom. Her leg was still heavily injured but Gerald hoisted Grissom up from under his arms and dragged him to a clearing in the rubble. The pain from the movement was excruciating, he was trying hard not to breathe too hard or cry out as it seared through his body.

A few minutes passed before he was able to open his eyes again, breathing deep controlled breaths to control the pain.

"Thank you"

The three of them sat in their clearing in silence, each of them pondering their own predicament and hoping for a rescue. Karen's voice broke through the silence, cutting into it like a knife and echoing off the walls.

"I have a son at home… he's… 4 years old. Do you think I'll see him again?"

Grissom was caught off guard by this question, he didn't believe in lying to her but the sorrow was written all over her face. He wasn't sure he had the energy to summon up a sentence good enough to comfort her without giving her false hope. The truth was he was wondering the same thing. It was a possibility they would die there, with every minute that passed, every drop of blood they lost and every sip of water they took they were becoming closer to that inevitable time when they would have to accept their fate.

He still had some fight left in him.

He must have been quiet for too long because she got tired of waiting for an answer; either that or she knew what it would be.

"My husband was a medic in the armed forces, he taught me to do those dressings"

She gestured to his stomach; the clothing which had been wound around him was starting to stain with blood. She continued talking, to no-one in particular.

"I would have been terrible at that job! I really don't know how he did it."

She was staring at the sand, her eyes glistening with tears. Even Gerald was emotional listening to her speak. It was kind of like a goodbye, she was making her peace before she gave up.

Grissom finally found his voice, although it was a struggle he managed to speak through the pain.

"You did a good job, he will be proud of you. They both will"

She looked up at him her features soft and sympathetic. She knew how difficult it was for him to speak but she appreciated the sentiment.

The temperature appeared to be rising in the cave. The air was thick and stifling and they were all aware of how little water they had. Grissom wondered if they had sent out a search party for them yet, they would have a vague idea of the general area they were in. he was only too aware of the 72 hour rule but that didn't really help when he had no concept of time. Gerald had been sent off to rummage in bags to find some food, it seemed like a good idea but Grissom wasn't hungry, he wasn't sure he could even hold down food. That's if his stomach was even intact after the injuries he had sustained.

Karen had started humming to herself; he recognised it as a lullaby he had heard as a child. She was thinking about her son, picturing cradling him in her arms and singing him to sleep. Grissom hoped that she would get to do that again. He found himself thinking about it, picturing how he and Sara's child might look. Picturing his wife holding a baby while rocking in a chair, humming the same song. A tear made its way down his face. He had never wanted to be a father but then he had never loved someone so much it seemed like a natural thing to do. He made a promise to himself that if he got out of there it would be one of the first things he would change in his life.

Suddenly everything stopped. The humming stopped, the birds stopped singing outside, Gerald stopped moving and they all stopped breathing as the radio sounded out into the empty cave.

"_Dr Grissom, Dr Grissom? Can you hear us Dr Grissom? We have a location; I repeat we have a location. We're coming to get you!"_


	12. Chapter 12

Sara was waiting impatiently at Nick's door; he was taking forever to get ready. She was beginning to get very annoyed. Their flight was due to leave in 3 hours, they HAD to get there really soon. He opened the door casually, dressed only in his boxer shorts and rubbing his eyes.

"Nick! Why aren't you ready? We have to leave now!"

Nick frowned and took in the sight of Sara completely dressed with her bag ready and her passport in her hands.

"Ok I'm just going in a shower, chill"

He slowly padded towards the bathroom, pausing to flick the TV to a music channel and painstakingly take out every item of clothes to lay them on the bed. Sara could feel her blood pressure rising, the anger rising through her body as she clenched her teeth in an effort to keep quiet. Nick turned to her before going to the shower.

"You want anything to drink?"

Sara narrowed her eyes and hissed at him through gritted teeth.

"I _want_ to go to the airport and get to Peru"

"Hey, we'll get there. Take it easy. He's not going anywhere"

He screwed up his face as he realised how insensitive that sounded. Sara looked like she might explode right there in front of him instead she shot him a venomous look and stormed out of the room.

Sara headed straight for the airport, if Nick felt that way then she didn't need him there. She headed straight for the airline desk. The flight they had booked was for 1.30 but she knew that LA ran over 250 flights a week to Mexico City. She was sure she could get on an earlier flight.

The clerk at this desk was a lot more helpful than the one in Vegas. She happily booked Sara on the earlier flight and rushed her through check in straight away, before she had a chance to absorb what was going on she was seated in a plane racing up the runway and heading closer to her husband.

Without Nick.

A small glimmer of guilt washed over her, he had been so kind to follow her and look after her but at that present moment he was holding her back and she had to do everything she could to get there soon. She was willing to bet they hadn't started searching yet.

She must have slept on the flight. The stewardess was gently rocking her shoulder and cooing at her about the flight ending. Sara woke a little disorientated, she never slept on flights. She very rarely slept at all unless she was with Gil. She uncurled from the chair slowly, brushing her hair out of her face.

The flight was almost empty, she had slept right through landing and only a few people retrieved their bags from the lockers overhead as she stood up to get her own bag. She had to rush out to the flight desk. There were only 3 flights per day into Peru, if she wanted on the next one she had some serious sweet talking to do.

There was a young woman at the flight desk, twiddling her hair absentmindedly and chewing on some gum. Sara was suddenly wishing she had waited for Nick; he could have sweet talked her into flying them there for free in their own private jet if he put his mind to it. Somehow she doubted she would have the same effect, the woman appeared to hate her already and all she had done was approach the desk. She was almost certain the girl rolled her eyes as she introduced herself. It took all her self-control to keep being nice to her.

"I have to get on the next flight to Peru please"

The girl pretended to type things into her computer.

"Next 2 flights are full, have to be tomorrow"

"No you don't understand, I really have to get there"

"The flights are full"

Sara knew the flights were not full, she would never understand why people were so obstructive. This was why she generally avoided people at all costs, that way she managed to at least pretend there was some goodness in the world.

Sara opened her purse and started counting out notes.

"I will give you …. $300 on top of airfare if you get me on that flight"

All of a sudden the girl was all business and incredibly helpful. The next flight was due to leave in just 40 minutes and a seat had miraculously become available. Sara notched it up as a victory, she may have resented having to bribe the young girl but in just under 6 hours she would be touching down in Lima. She may still be a long way from holding him in her arms but she was at least getting somewhere.

The flight was actually packed; she began to wonder if the annoying girl at the flight desk had kicked someone off the flight just to make $300 from her. Not that she felt compelled to give up her seat, she was a woman on a mission and nothing would stop her. She was seated between a businessman and a man with a little boy. The boy stared at her as she sat down, it made her feel a little uncomfortable like he was looking right into her soul with his bright curious eyes. He clutched a little dinosaur soft toy close to his chest and nuzzled back in his chair.

Sara smiled at him, he was quite cute. If she wanted to have a peaceful flight she figured she should make friends.

"Hi, you like dinosaurs?"

The little boy nodded and handed her the toy

"I like dinosaurs too, I like the triceratops"

The little boy sat up in his chair and smiled at her.

"He had 3 horns"

"That's right, what's your favourite?"

"My momma likes Raptors"

"Your momma's got good taste, Raptors were very clever"

Sara looked at the boy's dad, he looked tense and worried. Probably the exact way she looked.

"My momma is lost"

The little boy spoke sadly and clutched the dinosaur close to him again. The dad held his hand and introduced himself to Sara.

"My wife was in the exploration party that got lost in Peru."


	13. Chapter 13

Bill had been fighting with the radio for hours. It was their only link to the search party and he wasn't about to give up on them. If they were in danger he had a vested interest in finding them. Her name being Stephanie. As he fiddled with the buttons and strained his ears to hear a sound he thought about her. He thought about her a lot. Her long blonde hair, her piercing blue eyes, her beautiful tuneful laugh. He wished he had agreed to go on the trip with her, he wished that he had told her he loved her before she had vanished into the jungle.

Someone had to stay here with Graham; someone had to keep his IV flowing and start cooking for the masses. He had planned her favourite veggie lasagne; they would be ravenous after their trip. There was a lot of walking involved in exploration and climbing too, especially when they were exploring inside a mountain.

When he heard her voice chime through the crackling radio he felt like his heart would break. She sounded so scared, so desperate he wished that he could go to her. Wished he could go and save her immediately but he had no idea where they were. He was the chef; he wasn't privy to such information. Not that it was a big secret or anything. He was pretty sure if he had asked he would have been told, it just never occurred to him to ask. The only person at that camp who knew the coordinates was currently hooked up to an IV line and hallucinating from a Malaria Fever. The radio was their only hope.

So that's what he had been doing since he heard. He had looked through her tent to find any information on their position, he had called the authorities and he had spoken to the big boss who had approved this expedition. He had called all the families and listened to distraught husbands, wives, mothers and fathers knowing he couldn't give them the reassurance they wanted. The rest of his time was spent trying to get the radio going.

That was until the press had got wind of this event.

As soon as they got wind of the cave in people started descending on their camp, the phone was ringing like mad. Within an hour he had answered 50 phone calls and he had grown tired of saying 'no comment'

A groan from the bed at the other side of the room caught his attention; Graham was beginning to break through the fever and was waking for short periods. He had tried to get information out of him but it was no use. He would only mumble something ineligible and turn over in his bed.

"How are you feeling now buddy?"

"Bill? Where is everyone?"

Well this was a lot further than he had gotten in the past. That was an entire sentence, although it had clearly exhausted him there was a distinct possibility he could get some much needed information this time.

"They have gone to the temple Graham; do you remember where that was?"

Graham appeared to think this over for a while. Bill's heart was racing; this could be the breakthrough they needed.

"I can't remember dude, I'm so tired"

Graham moved to turn over and sleep and desperation welled in Bill's stomach, in one swift movement he was under the mosquito net and turning Graham roughly by the shoulder.

"They are all going to die unless you tell me where they are Graham, you _HAVE_ to remember!"

Graham's eyes darted about quickly as he wracked his brains trying to remember the location. Bill was about to give up, his heart felt heavy somewhere deep down he knew that his efforts would be fruitless. He was trying everything he could to ignore that feeling, he was trying to hold on to that tiny flicker of hope. And there were other people lost down there too, people with families and loved ones. People he had come to call friends, he had to save them too.

"I don't … I can't remember Bill, I'm sorry"

Bill slipped out from under the mosquito net and returned to the radio; every now and again he would get a faint signal. He would hear a crackling voice, as quickly as it came it would disappear again. It was so frustrating.

Graham had hastily pulled himself to his feet behind him. His legs trembling and his breathing fast he shuffled over to the large wooden chest propped against the far wall. It creaked as he opened it and Bill whirled around to see what was going on.

"Graham, what are you doing? You're supposed to be resting"

"I helped Dr Grissom with his notes. I kept the rough drafts in here. I think I have the coordinates or at least a rough map"

Bill made it to his feet and to the side of the chest in record time. The information had been here the whole time. Sitting in the same room as him while he panicked and worried.

Graham pulled out a small tattered journal. On the pages were scrawled numbers and unfamiliar words. Even if he had found it there was no way he could have deciphered it.

"Shorthand. It's quicker. It's also why I need to redraft later"

Bill nodded; he tried to act like he knew exactly what he was talking about. Like he wrote his grocery list in short hand and it was second nature to him. In truth it could just as easily have been hieroglyphics. The younger man was flicking through the pages quickly, sweat beaded on his brow and Bill could tell he was getting weaker by the second. Eventually he ripped an entire page out of the journal.

"Here! I got it, it's not co-ordinates but it's as close as you'll get."

Graham handed him what looked like a map, more of the hieroglyphic like markings surrounded the edges of it.

"That's the mountain, there's the waterfall. It's about 1km from the shore of the river. You can't miss it from there. A big hole in the side of the mountain with a statue on either side… or at least it was…"

Graham padded back to his bed and collapsed onto the hard mattress. He was sleeping within seconds; his little search had taken every bit of energy he had left.

Bill returned to his radio, tuning it to the station he had he most response from. Hoping more than anything that they would hear him.

"Dr Grissom, Dr Grissom? Can you hear us Dr Grissom? We have a location; I repeat we have a location. We're coming to get you!"

He waited with baited breath, willing them to respond. Even just the murmur of a response would give him enough hope. The radio piped up, crackling a word here and there, a sound, a whisper followed by more crackles.

"Was that the team? Have you made contact?"

Bill almost fell of his chair at the sound of a woman's voice. It was not what he expected.

He raised his eyes to find a tall, slim woman with dark hair. He recognised her from a photo in Dr Grissom's tent. The only photo he had. He wasn't really one for littering the place with mementoes and although he had never shared its story he surmised that this was his wife. She was followed by a man of similar age, he was well built with short dark hair and he held the hand of a small boy. He knew them immediately as Karen's family. She was almost the exact opposite of Grissom. She didn't stop talking about her family and her tent was covered in photographs and drawings from her little boy.

"I ... uh I have a map. It's not very good. I'm just waiting on the authorities"

Sara took the map from his hands, her eyes analysing every detail within seconds.

"We don't have time to wait for the authorities, let's go"

She dumped her bag on the floor and started walking into the jungle full of purpose and determination. He almost followed her, she was enigmatic and enchanting. He knew somehow he didn't want to be on her bad side but he also knew that dusk was about to fall on the jungle of Peru and they would be going nowhere that night. He swallowed his fear and grabbed her arm to stop her marching off any further.

"Mrs Grissom? I know you're worried about him. I am too. But it's about to get really dark and we'll get nowhere unless we wait until morning"

The pain in her eyes almost hurt as she looked at him.

"He's hurt, I know he is. I have to get to him"

"As soon as the sun rises, Mrs Grissom. I promise."


	14. Chapter 14

Sara knew he was right; they wouldn't get very far in the dark. It would make much more sense to stay at camp until the morning. That didn't make it any easier to do of course.

Bill showed her to Grissom's tent. Stepping inside she caught her breath, it was exactly how she would have pictured it. Cluttered and eccentric, dimly lit by one small lantern on a table. She took in the boxes and journals, the desk littered with papers and one small framed photograph of their wedding day. A small space on one side dedicated to the uncomfortable looking camp bed. Sitting pride of place was a pillow. A very distinct pillow she recognised from their home, a pillow which she had spent the past 8 months hunting for, convinced that she was losing her mind.

A small smile covered her face as she clutched it to her chest and sat down taking a deep breath. It probably smelled like her at some point, it was her favourite pillow to cuddle. When watching a movie, reading a book or just snoozing on the sofa, it was the thing she had snuggled up to her. Now it smelled of him. His comforting, calming, distinct smell that she loved so much and despite promising herself she wouldn't cry, fat tears fell onto the soft fabric.

Once they had started she couldn't stop them.

There was something about sitting there among his things, these things that were so distinctly him, that broke her heart. This space had once been his space, this bed was once where he slept and now it was empty, before long her shoulders were heaving and she drew breath heavily between sobs as she buried her face in his pillows.

Karen's husband loitered at the entrance, nervous and unsure whether he should enter or not.

"Sara … ?"

He looked around the room quickly, following the sound of her agonising sobs and breaching the space between them to sit beside her and gently stroke her back.

"Hey, what's all this? We'll find them, he'll be ok"

Sara could barely breathe let alone respond to his kindness. Instead she just whimpered into the pillow some more. If she wasn't so heartbroken she would have been embarrassed.

Yet he was comforting to her, he knew how she felt because he probably felt it too although he seemed to be holding it together a whole lot better than her. When she had finally composed herself enough to look at him she recognised the unshed tears in his eyes and the helpless expression on his face.

"Thank you, I guess being closer to him doesn't really help"

"It's ok, I understand."

The little boy bounded into the room happily.

"Daddy, the man says dinner is getting cold"

"Ok kid, we'll be out in a minute, veggie Lasagne for dinner, apparently it's the chef's speciality. Are you ok?"

Sara twisted in the bed and pulled herself to a sitting position.

"I will be. When we get to them, then I'll be just peachy"

He left the tent as she washed her face, she didn't usually like sharing or letting people see her with her defences down but she felt better for her little emotional breakdown. She had come to a conclusion as she lay there sobbing, a kind of eureka moment that had restored her steadfast determination to find her husband.

They ate together attempting to make small talk; it was hard to concentrate on anything else. As the fire dimmed and the food was polished off they retreated to their beds for the night. The lanterns in the camp all flickered off one by one as Sara sat at her husband's desk.

She sat there looking at the mountain of papers, the scribbled notes and the messy illustrations. Her OCD kicked in and she began to sort them into piles. She found a rough illustration of the 'sex pots' he had spoken about with such passion. She ran her hand over the pencil marks, picturing him hunched over this very table scribbling furiously. A burst of wind fluttered the entrance to the tent open; a shiver ran up her spine. She felt a presence, as though he was there, behind her, holding her tight and breathing onto her neck like he had so many times. Whispering her name as she closed her eyes and sleep found her, a tumultuous sleep filled with images of her husband, glorious happy images that would be interrupted by the very fibre of the world crashing down around him and waking her with a start. Her back ached from hunching over the table, her head hurt from stress and it took her a while to distinguish the shapes in the room again.

She knew she had to shake the feeling off; she had to get back in control of her feelings. Standing in the tent she paced a circle, over and over again she walked her circle muttering to herself. Glancing at the clock every few seconds and feeling her desperation well up inside her every time she realised that it hadn't moved. She lay on the bed, attempting to get some sleep. Breathing in the scent of him and picturing him beside her. Sleep wouldn't come; she knew what she had to do. She knew that fighting with herself would not work, when she got an idea in her head it burned and flourished and nothing would extinguish it.

Not even her.

She peered around the camp from the door of Grissom's tent. It was still quiet and empty. Her's was the only light still glowing. It was cold here at night, the wind gushed again and she put her hands firmly in her pockets. Her hands clutched the piece of paper she had removed from Bill and she pulled it out of her pocket, looking over it once more. She was sure she had deciphered it correctly and she was certain that she could find the temple on her own.

She shook off the idea that she could venture into the jungle in the dark on her own. She knew it was foolish and dangerous. She didn't even have her torch with her. She sat heavily on his bed and sighed. She really couldn't sit around here for the next 7 hours doing nothing. She was already imagining ghosts and talking to herself.

She half-heartedly opened the small drawer on Grissom's bedside cabinet, laughing to herself as her eyes found a small torch placed there as though waiting for her.

The wind gusted through the tent again fluttering the papers on the desk. She didn't like it all organised like that, it wasn't him at all. She had come in and changed it losing the clutter that was so distinctly Grissom. She moved to the desk and started throwing the papers around, attempting to restage the scene that she had been greeted with earlier.

It didn't work.

Her eyes were once more drawn to the torch and an insatiable need to find him washed over her body. She couldn't wait anymore. She rummaged in her bag and pulled out a small jacket, slipping it over her shoulders and grabbing the torch before stepping out into the camp.

She daren't even breathe as she walked through the small camp but almost broke into a run as she hit the jungle.

A little darkness wouldn't stop her. Not in a million years.


	15. Chapter 15

'_Torrential rain is forecast for the region of Peru where authorities are hunting for a team of missing explorers who have been missing for almost 48 hours. Hopes are fading for the families praying to be reunited with their loved ones anytime soon'_

The radio penetrating his dreams was an unwelcome sound; the broadcast was even more unwelcome. He could already hear the thundering clatter of the rain beating on the canvas roofs all around him. It wasn't uncommon for heavy rain to fall at this time of year in Peru, his main concern being that his team mates were still lost out there and he had promised Grissom's wife that they would start searching this morning. She didn't seem like the kind of person who would take this news well.

He pressed the blessed snooze button and turned over in his bed_._

"_Hello? Sara? is there anyone here?"_

He didn't recognise the voice, if he hadn't addressed Sara directly he would have imagined a journalist. He hastily pulled on a pair of shorts and peered out of his tent into the dulled daylight outside.

"Can I help you sir?"

Nick looked over the man with an element of suspicion, the camp was eerily quiet. The only sound being the rainfall as it hit off the tents heavily. He was drenched from head to toe; the short journey from the road to the camp had been treacherous. The rain was already wearing the paths away and causing mini mud slides. He had an impressive gash along the length of his left leg from slipping down the side of a slope as he fought the elements to get here. He recognised that they faced yet another delay in the search for Grissom.

"I am a friend of Sara and Dr Grissom. Has she arrived?"

The man had a caring face but he was clearly under a great deal of stress, worry lines covered his forehead and his entire body was wound so tight Nick was surprised it didn't snap. He moved across the camp slowly, his eyes darting towards the tents nervously. He held out his hand to Nick and forced a small, weak smile.

"Bill Friar, I'm the camp Chef"

"Nick Stokes. I work with Sara."

"Would you like me to wake her?"

"No, no way Sara does not take kindly to being woken up!"

"She wanted to start the search at dawn though…"

Nick smiled. Sara Sidles quick tongue had obviously already put this guy in his place. He could see how nervous she made him and it was quite entertaining. She must have charged in here on a mission he thought. When Sara had a purpose and a plan there was no stopping her. He certainly wouldn't try to stop a determined Sara; she could shoot him down with a single venomous look.

"Not exactly searching weather, don't worry I'll talk to her. Is there a spare tent I could change in?"

Bill directed him to a small tent on the far side of the camp and Nick gratefully whipped off his saturated shirt, wringing it with his hands and watching as a steady stream of water pooled on the floor in front of him. He rummaged in his bag and pulled out a towel to quickly dry his hair and slipped his shorts down. The gash on his leg was starting to sting and he inspected it with a sigh realising it would need a dressing, if not stiches.

"Hey Bill? Do you have a first aid kit here?"

The man was hunched over an open fire stirring a huge black pot; he turned to look at Nick with curiosity.

"Of course, I'll go get it"

He disappeared into a tent for a few moments before returning with a big green box and handing it over. Nick rummaged inside it and pulled out a long strip of Band-Aid. It would have to do, there would be no stiches until they got to a hospital and there was no way he would get Sara near a hospital without Grissom.

He slipped on a clean shirt and changed his shorts before heading out to the camp again, sitting on a log beside the now roaring fire. Bill had made a pot of porridge. Nick wasn't generally a fan of porridge but it smelled delicious and he hadn't eaten anything since the airport.

A man appeared at the door of a tent with a little boy clutching onto his neck with sleepy eyes and messy hair. They didn't look much like explorers and they regarded Nick curiously as they sat by the fire.

"Hi, Nick Stokes. I'm a friend of Sara's"

"Marshall Kent, good to meet you. My wife's in the exploration party. This is Ben"

The little boy looked up at Nick shyly before burying his head in his father's shoulder again. Bill passed out bowls of steaming hot porridge.

"Do you think we should wake Sara for some?"

Nick spooned out a huge spoonful and felt his entire body warm.

"No let her sleep, Sara doesn't really eat much anyway."

Marshall sat Ben on the log beside him and handed him a cooled bowl of porridge which the boy hungrily scooped up.

"You know, Sara was a little upset yesterday. I… um I found her crying on his bed"

Nick stopped eating and regarded Marshall steadily, he had known Sara for almost 11 years and he had never, not once, properly seen her cry. Even when it was completely justified she still remained strong.

"You saw her crying?"

Marshall nodded as though Sara crying was an everyday occurrence. Nick was suddenly extremely worried about her; Sara would have hated someone witnessing a moment of emotional break-down like that. It wasn't so much that she was a proud person it was more along the lines that she was fiercely protective of her privacy.

"I better go make sure she's ok"

Bill pointed to one of the bigger tents and Nick peered through the doorway.

"Sara? Hey, no hard feelings ok. I just want to see you're ok"

He waited for a response and peered around the darkness of the tent. It felt a bit wrong looking into Grissom's personal space, it was a typically Grissom space. Clutter everywhere of all descriptions. It wasn't even just bugs and papers he was obviously picking up rocks and carvings everywhere. There was even a huge leaf pressed against one of the walls like some kind of natural art. But there was no sign of Sara.

He moved to the small lumpy bed and pulled back the blankets carefully. No sign of Sara at all. In fact the only sign she had ever been there was her bag hastily thrown on the floor beside Grissom's huge wooden chest. His chest began to get tight and a lump was forming in his throat. If she had ventured out into the jungle on her own she was surely in trouble now. His emotions got stuck somewhere between fear and anger. The worry he felt for Grissom was nothing compared to what he felt for Sara, at least they vaguely knew where Grissom was. This was the desert all over again and that same helpless feeling washed over him.

"She's not there!"

Bill and Marshall both stood and frowned towards Grissom's tent.

"What do you mean she's not there? Where can she be?"

Bill should really have seen it coming, he _KNEW _Sara had not accepted his risk assessment. He had known that she would do something hasty in her grief but then short of locking her into the tent there wasn't a lot he could have done.

And now Sara was in very real danger.

"You should never have let her out of your sight, if anything happens to her man…"

He didn't finish his sentence, anger was rising inside of him and he went to his tent to grab the essential items he needed before marching towards the jungle.

Marshall stood up and called after him.

"Hey, hold up. I'll come with you. Ben, can you stay here and help Bill look after the camp?"

"Will you come home with momma?"

"I'll try kid. You be good."

Marshall jogged after Nick and they both vanished into the thick foliage of the trees as the rain kept falling.

The rain fell as if it was in sheets, they had to find Sara and they had to find her soon or Grissom wouldn't be the only one facing his death.


	16. Chapter 16

Sara was beginning to have second thoughts about her late night jungle exploration. She was realising all too slowly that it was dark in the jungle at night.

Really dark.

The thick canopy of trees overhead shielded any light the moon may have offered and any direction she could have gleaned from the stars. Not that she was an astrologer of any kind but she had a vague recollection of listening to Grissom talking about lunar positioning and such like.

No, all she could rely on was a flickery little flashlight and a roughly drawn map.

The narrow path she had been following soon disappeared and she was forced to fight her way through bushes and roots. She had a sneaking suspicion that she was going the wrong way, if the team had went this way it would surely have been easier to fight her way through. It felt like she had been trekking for hours when she finally came to an opening in the trees and the roar of a waterfall filled her ears.

Relief washed over her as she watched the cascading water froth at the bottom of the cliffs. She suddenly felt very tired, exhausted to the very root of her bones and she collapsed heavily onto a huge rock beside the lagoon. She slipped down to the ground leaning her head back facing the stars twinkling in the sky, closing her eyes. Just for a minute, just until she had the energy to open them again.

The rain hit her like needles.

It washed over her bringing her back to the conscious world and in her confusion she spotted something high up on the mountain. If it wasn't for the moon illuminating the sheer water pouring from its surface she was sure she would never have spotted it and sure enough its twin stood a few feet away framing what she guessed was an opening in the rocks.

Her hands fumbled in her pockets to find the map but when she pulled it out it all but dissolved in the heavy rainwater. She didn't need it anymore; it was discarded into the thick mud forming around her. She had found them, she had found her husband. Despite the dark and the rain she had found the entrance to his prison, nothing could stop her now.

Energised she heaved herself from the ground and fixed her eyes on the statue. It was at least 150ft up the side of the mountain and she knew she wasn't a skilled climber. She could just about make out a rough path snaking its way back and forth as it climbed higher and higher towards the entrance.

Grissom was by no definition a fan of climbing either; she figured this was the safe route and set out to scale it with new found enthusiasm. She could only imagine what awaited her inside the chamber, any amount of dead and injured people. The fact that they had contact with Grissom only allayed her fears slightly.

The rainfall was making it increasingly difficult to find her footing. It washed the path into thick soggy mulch and she was finding it hard to wade through. Her leg muscles ached but she kept going, kept pushing herself further and further up the side of the mountain. The darkness was fading; the jungle now bathed in a dull grey light but the rain still fell. It was beginning to get hard to see, the drops appeared to merge into one long sheet of water drenching everything in its path and blocking any hope she had of keeping her eyes on the statue.

Through the roar she was sure she could hear a noise, someone calling her name. She couldn't be sure who it was or if she even really heard it but as she turned her body following the sound the path below her slipped away with the torrential rain and she found herself slipping and sliding down and down, heading towards what would certainly be a horrendous fall.

Her hands clutched out instinctively, grasping at branches and leaves which all gave way under her weight. The chances of surviving an almost 80ft fall was slim, possibilities ran through her mind at lightning speed as her outstretched hands clutched at a root sticking out from the side of the mountain. Her sigh of relief echoed through the clearing and her heart raced as she tried desperately to find her footing. The water made everything slippery and her shoes and legs were caked in mud they slipped and skidded all over the sheer mountainside.

"SARA?"

There was no mistaking it for whispers on the wind anymore. That was most definitely Nick's voice penetrating the jungle and the rain, searching for her.

"NICK! I NEED HELP!"

Her voice choked in her throat, coming out cracked and upset. She could feel her fingers slipping around the root as the water ran over them. She just had to hold on a little longer. Just a few more minutes and Nick would be there to save her. She wasn't sure exactly how he could pull it off but she had to keep the faith. That was Grissom's motto after all.

Nick burst through the tree's and scanned his surroundings spotting Sara hanging precariously from high up on the mountain.

"How am I supposed to get to her on time?"

Marshall appeared behind him, a look of horror cast over his face as he surveyed the scene in front of him. They could see her hands trembling and her feet digging into the mud in an effort to take the pressure off her arms.

"Well I got a rope? Do we have time to get above her to pull her up?"

Nick scanned the mountainside, she was high and the path had all but washed away.

"I don't think so"

Marshall pulled the rope from his bag and tied a knot on one end before throwing it over a high branch on a nearby tree. He tied one end around his waist tightly.

"I'm a member of the Army Mountaineering Association. We don't usually climb in the rain but I think can get to her in time."

Nick nodded and let out a sigh of relief.

"Hold on Sara, we'll be there as quick as we can!"

Marshall handed him the knotted end of rope, they had to move quickly. He knew enough about mountaineering to keep the rope pulled tight as Marshall began his climb. He faltered a few times losing his grip or his footing on the wet mountainside but as he made steady progress towards her Nick began to believe that they could actually get to her on time.

Of course that was before the mudslide ….


	17. Chapter 17

Grissom was slowly starting to allow himself to hope. He had initially resigned himself to the fact they would probably die there, he was beginning to make his peace with that when the radio had chimed. All of a sudden each of them realised it was a very real prospect they would be rescued and the demeanour in the chamber changed significantly in that moment.

"The first thing I'm going to do is get a warm shower and a huge burger"

Gerald stretched out in the clearing resting his head on his hands and smacking his lips at the thought of his delicious greasy burger.

"I'm going to call my little boy and as soon as I get home we're going to Disneyland" Karen laughed a happy little laugh "I've always wanted to go, kept putting it off though."

Grissom watched them both as they shared their hopes for their release, gone were the worried panicked people he had shared a space with only a few minutes ago. They were animated, excited and hopeful. Grissom knew, however, that finding the location of their prison was only step one in their rescue. They still had to actually get to them.

"What about you Dr Grissom? What will you do?"

He thought about this question, thought about the things he still wanted to do with his life. The things he wanted to achieve. He had re-read Moby Dick, he had spent a glorious summer exploring the rainforest, he had entered an international chess tournament and almost won, he had travelled Europe and he had married the woman of his dreams. He had done more with his life in the past two years than he had done his entire life previous to that.

"I'll tell my wife how much she means to me. I'll tell her that she was the only reason I made it out of here"

His breathing was becoming laboured again, he felt as though his chest was filling up with water and his lungs couldn't expand properly. He knew it was probably caused by blood in the chest cavity. He also knew that wasn't good news, every ounce of strength he had left was focussed on taking the next breath until even speaking was beyond him. It was all about the breath.

Just one more breath, Grissom. Then it will feel better.

He silently coached himself as he wheezed heavily eliciting a growling cough from his chest.

"Hey Dr Grissom, are you ok?"

He could see the concern in her eyes as well as hear it in her voice but he could merely nod in response. That veil of unconsciousness was falling over him again as his body was slowly washed with more pain. Karen's concoction of drugs had worked for a while but they were obviously wearing off and Grissom was reminded about just how severe his injuries were.

He tried to shake it off as a gurgling cough raised through his chest, trying to stay awake and breathe at the same time was proving too difficult as he hunched over and coughed up an impressive amount of blood. The pain in his body seared through him so intensely he couldn't help but cry out, his agonising cries echoing off the walls and reverberating around them like surround sound. Gerald and Karen exchanged nervous glances as Grissom slowly leaned back onto the rocks behind him. He knew he wouldn't stay conscious much longer in this state.

They were both beside him in record speed, passing him water and placing rolled up jackets behind his head. Their soothing tones did nothing to alleviate his fears, if anything they made it worse. As the dizziness closed in he felt like everything was going in slow motion, he couldn't focus on what they were saying as they shouted to each other. It was muffled and distant. He could almost feel his body working, he could hear his blood rushing through his veins, he could hear the air struggling to fill his lungs, he could feel his heart rate slow down as his eyes closed heavily enveloping him in an uncomfortable darkness. He could still hear his friends muffled voices; he could still feel their hands on him, pulling him onto the ground and pushing on his chest. He was still there but the darkness was too heavy for him to fight. He couldn't break through it to tell them he was ok. He was just resting that was all, just resting his eyes for a moment.

In that moment as Karen screamed at him and Gerald shook his lifeless body he felt rain.

Rain.

Rain, falling through the cave. It was heavy and cold and it was glorious. It fell onto his face, breaking through the darkness bit by bit until his eyes flickered open and he stared at the roof of the temple. The rain was crumbling away the already weak arched roof, breaking it away piece by piece until he could see the sky. The hot sticky air pressure was replaced by a fresh breeze. The faint coating of grey dust was rapidly turning into a dark paste, it slipped off the rocks and tiles like slime as the rain grew heavier and the hole grew bigger.

Never did he ever think he would be so happy to feel rain on his skin, to see the stars twinkling in the sky because before then he was about to let go. He was about to release his grip on his life and seek solace in that corner of his subconscious where his injuries were gone and Sara was waiting for him.

But he was sure that as he watched the rain crumble the walls of their chamber away that he heard her voice. He was sure he heard her calling for help. Her unmistakable voice choked, frightened and desperate penetrating through the rain, through his groggy mind he was sure he heard her. He tried to shake it off, it was clearly his imagination playing trick on him, people often heard strange things in the rain; people often hallucinated when they were so desperate and injured.

But then he heard Gerald speaking.

"Hey, did you hear that? Someone's out there?"


	18. Chapter 18

Sara knew what was coming, she could feel the ground shift beneath her as the root which held her up twisted and moved under her weight. Marshall was climbing the mountain at a feverish pace, desperate to get to her before she was swept away.

She was so close, so close to getting to him she could almost feel his arms around her. The water pouring over her body was barely felt as she closed her eyes and thought about him. She thought about his smell, his touch. She thought about the way he peered over the rim of his glasses to look at her or how he pinched the bridge of his nose when he was stressed. She pictured him cooking, standing in their kitchen consumed in concentration as he tossed in his ingredients and produced the most glorious meals.

Marshall had almost made it to her level. He was just a few feet away and he was calling her name. She could probably have reached out to him. She could probably have clutched his hand but before she had the chance to react the mountain simply gave way below them.

It was dramatic in it swiftness. She had never expected a mudslide to move so quickly. She took a sharp intake of breath as it washed her away sweeping Marshall and Nick with it. The thick sludge pulled at their bodies. She could see Nick, close to her now reaching out his hands to her. She was sure he was calling out to her, telling her to reach for him but she felt dazed. Like she was in a dream, not quite sure what was going on as the mud engulfed her body more and more.

As she began to slip under the mud she felt hands grab her under her arms. Nick heaved her towards him as he sludge moved them both away from the mountain and into the jungle. He clung to a nearby tree.

"Just hold on, don't let go"

Eventually the mud stopped moving and the rain stopped falling. Calm descended over their spot in the jungle. The mud caked everything. The lagoon she had sat at not half an hour ago was completely gone. The beautiful waterfall splashing onto a pool of thick sludge instead. The trees were covered in a brown tide mark.

Nick called out for Marshall; he had been washed away in the mud. He followed the sounds of his voice, He would likely be hurt.

Sara's eyes were scanning the side of the mountain; the statues that had been her marker were gone. She felt that horrible desperation rise inside her again. A knot forming in her throat as the hopelessness descended once more. Then she spotted something she hadn't been able to see before.

Nick helped a limping Marshall back to the clearing and propped him down beside a rock. He was lucky his ankle was all he had hurt. They both watched as Sara stared at the side of the mountain, her eyes narrowed and her mouth open slightly.

She took a few steps towards the mountain, her eyes fixed on the haphazardly placed pile of rocks. They were covered in broken red and blue tiles and coated in mud. At the very top of the pile there was an opening, a small hole revealing the darkness inside. It was wobbling and moving as though someone was pulling away at it.

Sara focussed her eyes on the opening, she studied it intently for a few minutes and was suddenly rejuvenated when she recognised the flickering light inside, she spotted hands grasping at the rocks and pulling them away. A smile crossed her features, the realisation that he was right there; right in front of their very eyes was the way to her husband.

"Nicky! They're in there!"

* * *

><p>The walls of the mountain had slipped away, although the rocks still surrounded them there were points in between which flooded the chamber with points of light. The rain stopped falling and a quiet calm descended. They could see their way out; it was as though they had been given a golden ticket.<p>

Gerald and Karen were laughing and cheering as though they had never seen sunlight before. He was sure that if he had the energy he would be joining them. He spent every fibre of energy he had left on listening. He was sure he had heard her voice, he was almost certain he hadn't imagined it.

Gerald started climbing, his weedy hands reaching out to the rocks and his lanky legs moving quickly over the rubble. At the top he started pulling at loose rocks, revealing more and more daylight. Before long they could see the top of the tree's waving in the breeze, they could see birds fluttering around and monkeys scurrying in the branches.

"_Nicky! They're in there!"_

His heart jumped, that was Sara's voice. He wasn't imagining that, she was there.

Right there.

He could call out and she would hear him, he was within minutes of holding her. Minutes from seeing her beautiful face, from smelling her wonderful scent and yet his words choked in his mouth. He had stopped concentrating on his breathing, he had stopped trying to stay awake, his only concern at that moment was the fact that Sara was right there, looking for him.

As the darkness overwhelmed him once more he knew it was a possibility he wouldn't make it out of this one, he knew that this could be the last time he would see the sun but he wasn't afraid anymore.

Because she was there and she would be with him.


	19. Chapter 19

The air began to swirl around them; the tree's bending this way and that as the ferocity of the helicopters blades twisted their trunks sending the birds and animals scurrying away in fear. It happened too quickly, she didn't have time to react.

She stood there glued to the spot her eyes fixed on the rocks as they were slowly pulled away. The helicopter moved lower, hovering not 20ft from her head and yet she was still standing there. Her eyes didn't seem to register it, her feet unmoving as they called to her.

Two men hung out of the door reaching their hands to her, Nick was by her side telling her to go with them. To go to safety and she almost went.

In her daze she took two steps and they had their hands on her. The human contact suddenly brought her back to the present and she shook her head and slipped out of their grip as though they were dragging her to the depths of hell.

She stumbled back so quickly she collided with a tree and fell to the ground as the helicopter touched down in the clearing. Men in uniform filtered out, helping Marshall into a chair and speaking to Nick. He was by her side with a kind expression.

"You go with them and I'll wait here for Grissom"

Sara shook her head furiously, she was trembling and crying, a thought was burning into her brain and it wouldn't go away. She couldn't quash the feeling that he was lost to her and staring at those hands as they pulled away the rocks bit by bit only forced her into her theory even more. They were thin and weedy. Feminine almost although the fingers were long and bony like a piano players hands.

"That's not his hands Nick, that's not him. Why isn't it him?"

She was panicking; she could feel it building up inside her as she struggled to control it. It built and washed over her like a volcano. She couldn't supress it anymore, and for the second time in as many days Sara broke down spectacularly.

Her entire body crumbled into Nick's arms as the empty feeling grew within her. She just muttered it over and over again, too scared to voice the answer as her tears fell. Nick's arms closed in around her holding her close as she clung to him as though her life depended on it.

She squeezed his arm tightly as he sat there with her, stroking her hair and muttering comforting words into her ear.

"We'll get him Sara; I promise we'll get him out of there"

He raised her to her feet moving slowly as though she would break under too much pressure. His arms still clasped around her he stepped towards the helicopter and the outstretched arms of the man inside.

She fixed her eyes on the hole once more, watched as the uniformed men spoke to the owner of the hands. She couldn't take her eyes off them examining their faces for any clues, the faintest flicker of hope and she would scale that mountain on her own without hesitation.

Nick was still moving her to the helicopter, he released his grip on her when the man inside grabbed her arms. He was pulling at her and she felt restricted. She didn't want to leave the site yet. Not until he was safe, not until she knew he was still alive.

She tried to pull her arms away but the man's vice like grip clamped down on her. She looked to the men on the mountain again as they gestured to Nick and the team on the ground that there were 3 people alive in the chamber.

Suddenly her strength was returned and she heaved her arms away almost pulling the man out of the helicopter with her. She glanced at Marshall and nodded her head before taking off in a run towards the mountainside.

Nick didn't register her arrival until she was already attempting to heave herself towards the rocks. He was so shocked to see her there at all that it almost didn't register in his brain until she was already a few strides up the steep side. His arms closed around her waist to pull her back as she hit out at him, determined once more to see for herself.

"Let me go, I have to know Nick. Even if it's not him. I have to know"

The heartbreak in her voice convinced him, he found himself standing behind her. Coaxing her the whole way until they reached the lip where the rescuers stood.

They were strapping the weedy man into a harness, ready to hoist him out of the hole and into freedom. He was rambling, talking too fast for his own tongue to keep up. Sweat beaded on his brow and tears streaked his dust covered face.

She peered into the hole; it was a long way down. She felt dizzy at the very thought of it.

"Is Grissom there? Is he alive?"

Nick was asking the young man as he was pulled to their level, he didn't seem to know how to answer. His eyes wide with fear and his mouth opening and closing without words. A moment of madness washed over her and as he was pulled out of the hole she grabbed him firmly by the shoulders.

"Where is my husband, is he down there? Is he hurt?"

Although she spoke through gritted teeth she knew she was almost shouting. The young man's fearful eyes flickered between hers and the hole below and she felt a sinking in the pit of her stomach when she spotted what she had been looking for among the rubble.

She could only see the side of his face and the top of his chest. A blonde haired woman sat by his side, shaking him and shouting to him. He didn't respond and she realised what the sinking feeling was, she was losing that feeling that bound her to him. That horrible knot inside her that told her he was hurt was unravelling and not in a good way.

Her anger was redirected to the rescue staff.

"Get me down there"

She unfastened Gerald's buckles furiously to the protests of the team. They moved to pull her away and Nick stepped in front of them with his hands raised. He gazed into the chamber, his eyes immediately spotting what she had witnessed, what had got her so riled.

"It's ok, she's fully trained. Just let her go down there"

The teams protests went ignored as Nick helped her with the last of the buckles. When she was finally strapped in they had all but relented, helping Nick to lower her over the cusp of the rocks and into the chamber below.

The dust in the air hit her like a wall, clogging up her lungs and causing a choking cough that echoed off the walls. The blonde woman watched her as she entered their prison, her eyes casting over her then back to Grissom sadly.

He didn't appear to be moving, she had studied him the entire duration of her decent. Holding her breath as she waited for his chest to move or his eyes to flicker. Anything to indicate he was alive.

There was nothing.

The emptiness inside her grew and grew as she got closer to the ground, flicking her body free from the harness before she touched land and throwing herself towards him in desperation.

"You're Sara, his Sara"

Karen spoke in amazement as though she was stunned to realise she actually existed. Words choked in Sara's mouth as she thought about the statement. His Sara, she was his Sara. She could only nod in agreement, her hands feeling at his neck and his wrist for a pulse.

Karen's eyes brimmed with tears as Sara studied the deep red staining on her husband's chest, the blood completely saturating his shirt and most of his pants.

"It, it just happened. One minute he was here and the next …."

Sara shook her head; she refused to believe he was gone. He couldn't be gone. Not yet. Not like this.

She grasped his shirt with both hands and snapped open the buttons with one movement. Her hands instinctively moving to the CPR position. 2 breaths and 5 pumps, she sung it through in her mind as tears ran down her face.

She got no reaction.

Nothing, not so much as a sigh or a gurgle.

Her entire body collapsed onto him, clinging onto his chest as her anguished cries echoed around the room.

"You can't do this Gil, not now. You can't leave me when I need you so much. I need you now. You promised me. You promised I would never be alone again"


	20. Chapter 20

The air seemed to lift suddenly. The hard sticky pressure of the chamber relieved from his body and replaced by a cool lightness. In the seconds that had passed between hearing her voice and facing the darkness he felt an overwhelming need to sleep.

He had been fighting so hard, for so long that sleep was a welcome sensation. He didn't dream, his consciousness was spinning. Images would dance in front of his face surrounded by swirling colours only to disappear and be replaced by another ridiculous unrelated image.

He could see faces, Catherine, Nick, Greg but they would melt away in front of his eyes like candle wax. He couldn't seem to fix the image, couldn't keep hold of them. Scene's began to play in his mind, the things he had seen, the things he had done, the people he loved. He slowly began to realise what that meant. This was the proverbial 'life flashing before his eyes'.

He had always pictured it faster. Like an overwhelming rush of memories and emotions, in reality his was painfully slow.

Every heartache he had suffered replayed before his very eyes, only he was seeing them from an altogether different perspective. As though he was watching a movie.

There he was as a young boy, talking to his Father. Wondering why he didn't respond. He still felt that knot form in his stomach; he still felt the heartache when his mother collapsed to her knees. He felt the heartache of losing his first love all over again, every sorrow he had been through in his early life rushed past like the flickering pages of a book. They would stall every few seconds, granting him an image or a moment. And every few pages, every few seconds there she was.

Her image would cause his heart to turn over, skipping a beat whenever he saw her. she was young, her hair in a ponytail hanging on his every word, then he saw what he had done to her through all those years, saw her sorrow and heartache as it became his, as she became his.

He saw their wedding day in the glorious sunshine, her beaming smile, the love in her eyes. It was the happiest day of his life, nothing else came close to how he had felt that day, everything paled in comparison.

He saw something else too, something changing in her more recently. The sparkle fading in her eyes, the smile a little less radiant. There was a longing in her heart; he could almost feel it aching. She needed him; she needed him a lot more than she let him think because she wanted him to be happy.

And she was crying.

He couldn't see her crying but he could hear it, he could feel it. She filled his senses like morning in the rainforest. She manipulated every one of his available, functioning senses at once. Flooding him with information, immediately bringing him back to the chamber and the stifling warmth there.

Yet he couldn't do anything.

Not a single thing.

He couldn't reach out and wipe away her tears, he couldn't hold her in his arms, he couldn't inhale her scent or taste her lips. He couldn't even open his eyes to look at her one last time.

He was trapped in a shell, his body wasn't functioning anymore. His lungs had stopped expanding, his stomach stopped churning, his heart was slowing with every second and he couldn't will it to beat again. He was too weak, he was too tired.

The haze was descending again, that white glow that had coaxed him in before. The one he had managed to fight, he had turned away from it to see her again. To hold her again, to taste her again and yet here she was within his grasp and he couldn't do any of those things.

He couldn't even tell her just how much she meant to him, how she had given him everything he had ever dreamed of. She had given him love, a life, a purpose. How his life was only about loving her and how it always was.

He felt a pull deep down in his stomach pulling him towards the glow, away from the chamber, away from the pain and the heartache.

He tried to fight it, he really did. Every fibre of his body wanted him to go to that light, every cell pulling him away from her yet his heart and his mind willed him to stay.

And he could hear her, muffled and far away he could hear her calling to him, begging him to stay with her. Begging him not to leave her alone.

He stilled his thoughts and listened, listened to his heart beating. Slow and weak, his body was indeed giving up.

She pressed against him clinging onto his chest until he could hear her heart; it was racing at a feverish pace. Quickening by the minute but there was something else. Something new and different, something beating a different rhythm within her and when he realised what it was his determination to live came crashing back to him.

Her tears soaked into his shirt, her heavy sobs causing her body to shake and tremble.

With every last fibre of energy he had left he willed himself to take a breath, a small innocent little breath was all he needed. His body wouldn't cooperate.

Time seemed to stop and she was yelling at him, pounding his chest with her fists in anger, in despair, in desperation. She must have hit the right spot, her fist hit him hard just under his ribs and he took a sharp intake of breath.

Before he could hold her in his arms, before he could kiss her and tell her he loved her there was a man there ushering her away, hooking a mask onto his face and shining a light in his eyes. A board was slipped under his body as she collapsed into the arms of Karen.

He didn't take his eyes off her; he was trying to convey a thousand words without speaking.

He was trying to tell her that she had made him the happiest man alive without even knowing it yet.


	21. Chapter 21

He was alive, barely alive but alive nonetheless.

He had really scared her for a few moments there, lying lifeless in the rubble. He looked like he had given up, that wasn't the Grissom she knew. She had never seen him look so incredibly vulnerable before. It was always other people in those situations.

It happened to other people and he fixed it.

She was transfixed as she watched the medic strap him up and place an oxygen mask over his face. She had been thrown to one side like an inconvenience, under normal circumstances she would probably have swung for him. Her husband's eyes were on her, staring at her in much the same way she stared at him. It confused her somewhat that he should be so worried about her when in truth she had escaped relatively unscathed.

The blood saturating his shirt scared her too. Blood was never something which scared her before, she barely saw it anymore. Rather than being the life force of a human being it was merely evidence to her. It had become a non-entity in her mind, until she saw him. When she saw his injuries blood took on an entirely new meaning. That was his life soaking into the fibres of his shirt, dripping away and congealing in the sand.

She moved to him, her hands pressing on his abdomen as though holding the blood in. he knew he was seriously injured, she could see it in his eyes. She could see the pain he was in, she could see how hard he fought to stay awake. There was still the very real possibility that she could lose him.

Tears brimmed in her eyes as she smiled softly at him. She tried so hard to hold them back, so very hard that she felt as though her eyes may flood completely if she merely blinked. He raised his hand to her face, wincing in pain as he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and wiped an errant tear from her cheek. As her tears welled over, she whispered to him.

"I thought you were leaving me"

He was shaking his head, causing himself a great deal of pain in the process. The medic began speaking to her in Spanish. She didn't understand but his tone was not one she responded kindly to. She gave him a vicious glare before turning back to her husband, gently cupping his face in her hands.

"Ssshhhh don't move, they're going to get you out of here and to a hospital. You'll be just fine; I'll be waiting for you"

He felt clammy. Cold to the touch yet sweating and sticky. His breath shuddered out of him as though it was forced, his muscles tensing to cope with the pain. She tried to think of the Spanish word for pain killers. She cursed herself for not brushing up on the language before she came here; she hadn't really intended to see a lot of the country or its natives though. Her main focus of attention on her trip was supposed to be her husband and their bedroom.

"mor… morfina?"

The medic whipped around to look at her in shock. She wondered if she had said it wrong or worse said something completely unrelated but he reached into his medical kit and produced a pre-filled syringe. He jabbed it directly into a vein in Grissom's arm without hesitation and almost immediately his breathing began to slow and relax.

"You can sleep its ok"

His eyes were heavy, his limbs relaxing significantly as a sweet morphine induced sleep washed over him. She watched him as he slept, watched the tiny changes in his expression. Her hand rested on his chest, feeling his breaths and his heart as though checking to make sure they were still functioning.

The medic strapped the stretcher up with thick black ropes dangling into the space above them. He spoke to her in Spanish, obviously assuming she was fluent in his language but she could merely shake her head in desperation and misunderstanding. She had no idea what he was saying, what she wouldn't give to have Nicky by her side right now.

He called to the team above them and they slowly started hoisting Grissom into the air. A group of men waited at the opening to receive the stretcher. He would probably be whisked away to hospital before she even got out of there.

She turned her attention back to Karen, noticing for the first time the terrible leg injury that she had. She wasn't sure how she had pictured Karen but it wasn't like this. She was small and petite; she must have looked tiny beside her husband's tall muscular frame. Her dark hair was twisted in tight curls that shook and bounced whenever she moved.

"You're husbands out there"

Karen looked shocked that Sara was even speaking to her let alone that she knew her husband.

"We met on the plane; well I met your son actually. He was telling me about dinosaurs"

The smile on Karen's face was infectious and Sara found herself grinning as she thought about the cheeky little boy on the plane.

"We were going through a divorce… before all this"

Sara wasn't sure what to say in response. Marshall had appeared to be very much the grieving, worried husband.

Karen didn't divulge any more information to her; she sat in her position and stared at the wall fighting back tears. Sara wondered if it would be a happy reunion for the little family. Sometimes a traumatic experience can bring people together; sometimes it drove them further apart.

Nick peered into the chamber from above, his expression concerned. There were people surrounding him, yelling things in Spanish and pulling at his arms. As Grissom's stretcher was carefully moved through the opening in the rocks the colour drained from his face. He was probably facing the same reaction she had. Taking in the blood, the pale clammy skin and the shallow breathing; Grissom was in bad shape.

The men around him were getting irritated now, pulling at Nick and ushering Grissom away. They were muttering and then shouting in Spanish.

"_Derrumbe, Derrumb__**e**__"_

She scanned the inner recesses of her mind for the translation but she was slow, tired, exhausted actually. It had been a long few days and she was feeling unusually drained. She tossed the word around in her brain; usually a word could be broken down and understood. Not this word, there were no clues in its composition at all. She turned her attention to Nick; he was fighting them off; pushing them away while trying to get her attention. She could see cracks forming in the surface of the roof, dust and dirt began to rain down on them and suddenly it occurred to her what 'derrumbe' meant.

It meant 'collapse'


	22. Chapter 22

Grissom couldn't remember a time when he had ever been injured enough to need airlifted to hospital.

The sunlight hurt his eyes as he was hoisted out of the dark chamber and the air was thin and fresh. The morphine was making him incredibly sleepy, he found himself fighting to keep his eyes open. He would try to speak to the medic's only to fall asleep mid-sentence and wake up disorientated and confused.

There was a lot of commotion on the side of the mountain. He could hear it as though he was far away; people were shouting and calling things in Spanish.

The Helicopters blades made a terrible racquet; it hurt his head and made it even harder for him to open his eyes. They slid his stretcher onto the floor of the helicopter and hooked him to some machines that immediately started beeping and chiming adding to his throbbing headache.

As they began to move into the sky he strained to see the mountain he had left behind. He hoped he would be able to see them rescuing Karen or Sara. He couldn't see into the temple, couldn't see either of the women but he could see Nick.

He was hunched over the opening obviously calling to Sara. He was surrounded by men in uniform. They were pulling at him and calling to him but he was ignoring them. Grissom couldn't make out what was being said, as the helicopter hovered he noticed the uniformed men backing away with urgency.

They ran, slid and fell down the pathway retreating from the side of the mountain as fast as they could. He was beginning to get really worried about what that meant. It was no secret that the cave wasn't stable. Throw in torrential rain and a mudslide along with any number of people pounding into the dirt and rocks and it was a recipe for disaster.

The helicopter began to move higher, he was losing sight of Nick. He tried to sit up, tried to move so that he could see what was going on as the men in the cabin with him gasped in shock. The helicopter turned and he caught a glimpse of the crumbling mountain. It was almost like it had imploded taking Nick, Sara and Karen with it. He couldn't see any of them, the combination of the morphine and the straps of the stretcher held him down, stopped him sitting up and calling out to them. The men in the helicopter shook their heads. It was clear they had given up on them already.

By the time he was wheeled into a hospital he had picked up a few titbits of information from the medic's. They spoke in Spanish which itself wasn't a problem. He was actually quite fluent these days but the medication had a slowing effect on his brain. He had missed most of their conversation but from picking out a few choice words he surmised that the entire temple had collapsed and the team were starting to dig for bodies.

Bodies.

That word stuck in his head, it wouldn't go away. They were looking for bodies.

He should never have let her go into the cave, she should never have been there, this was all his fault. And now he faced the prospect of losing his friend, his wife and his unborn, unacknowledged child in one fell swoop. His heart felt like it might just give up under the sorrow it felt. Dehydration stopped tears from forming but the ache in his very soul made his breathing speed up as he was whizzed through the brightly lit corridors of the hospital. He stared straight ahead, thinking only of the life he could have had, the life that had been in his grasp. All he had to do was grab it. He couldn't understand why he had stayed in Peru at all; he should have gone with her. He should have made a home with her, a real home. He should have treasured every moment he got to spend with her. Every morning he got to wake up beside her, every smile she gave him, every time he got to stroke her soft skin or kiss her moist lips. He had completely taken those moments for granted. The doctors and nurses spoke to him, flashed lights in his eyes and jabbed him with needles. They were asking him questions, furiously trying to get his attention.

"Dr Grissom? We're going to patch you up sir, but we will need to operate. Will you be able to sign the consent sir or should we get your next of kin?"

His words fell on deaf ears, his mind was elsewhere. He was lost between reality and hallucination, playing memories over and over in his mind's eye. The rest of the world simply fell away, faded into the distance as he remembered dancing with his wife on the soft golden sands of a beach in Costa Rica. This was his favourite memory of her; she was so happy that day, so carefree and full of hope for their future.

The doctor's voice broke through his imagination, the image breaking into a thousand pieces like shattering glass and being replaced by the harsh white walls and sterile equipment of the hospital room. The doctor was leaning over him with a clipboard and a pen. He was talking in urgent tones and the nurse hooked him to a packet of blood and cleaned around his more minor wounds.

"Dr Grissom? You have to sign this so that we can repair the wounds on your abdomen."

He looked at the forms, his mind still clouded by the drugs and the blood loss.

"Sara? Where is my wife?"

The nurses exchanged a look as they finished hooking his machines up. The doctor simply waved his pen at him and dismissed his questions but he could hear the nurses talking on the other side of the room as he took the pen from his hands and hovered over the page.

"Who's Sara? Is she here?"

"No, Sara's his wife. Didn't you hear? She went into the cave to get him out and it collapsed on her, I bet she doesn't get out of there. Poor guy"

They looked over at him with sympathetic smiles before they left the room. He looked at the doctor; he was obviously very keen to get the operation underway. The worry registered on his face but as Grissom looking over his bruised and battered body he didn't feel a sense of foreboding anymore. He was losing blood at a rapid pace, he was struggling at times to stay conscious, he couldn't feel his legs but he didn't care. The nurses were right; Sara was unlikely to even make it to the hospital foregoing some kind of divine intervention.

"I don't want the surgery"

"Dr Grissom, you need this surgery. If we don't operate soon, if we don't stop the bleeding and repair any damage internally you will die"

"Then I'll die"


	23. Chapter 23

All at once the earth gave way below him. He was plummeting towards a huge pile of rocks and dirt. He braced himself for impact, held his breath and closed his eyes…

At first he thought he was dead, all he could see around him was swirls of colour. Light and dark merging into shadows, closing in on him, attacking him from all angles. It was frightening, intimidating, the pain that slowly washed over him was somewhat comforting.

His voice was cracked and weak as he called out into the dust.

"Sara?"

He could hear voices outside, shouting and arguing about rescuing them. He heaved himself up off the ground, his body aching all over. He had to close his eyes for a moment to ease the dizziness that gripped his head. He was injured. His head and his side were bleeding, he could feel the warm liquid snaking its way down his face and soaking into his shirt. His eyes couldn't seem to focus, he tried blinking away the fuzziness with no success.

"Sara? Are you hurt?"

He still couldn't see her. All around him there were only rocks, rocks and dirt everywhere. He was beginning to get to grips with the lighting and the dust in the room. He looked around him trying to make sense of his surroundings. He had to find Sara. He didn't come all this way with her to lose her now. He stood to survey the room properly. He had fallen almost directly on top of them.

He fell to his knees and began to dig. He heaved massive slabs of rock to one side, pulled out stones covered in tiles and great bulks of dirt clods. The sun was beating on his back and he began to feel incredibly dry. The dirt and dust he was disturbing stuck to his mouth and lungs, it clung to his sweat soaked brow and swirled around in the beams of light.

"Sara?"

He was beginning to get really worried. He had been digging furiously and was yet to find any trace of her. he pulled his shirt over his head and wiped his forehead with it. The wound on his side looked quite nasty, blood poured out from it and ran down his leg. He ripped his top into a length and tied it around his body tightly before returning to his search.

"Sara!"

His hands became calloused and cut as the sharp shards of rock and stone clawed at his skin. His desperation and determination grew with every piece he removed. Finally among the mass of rocks and dirt he spotted a clump of dark hair. He moved to it with enthusiasm, pulling away the rocks surrounding it as fast as he could. with every rock he removed he got closer to the conculsion that this wasn't Sara. The hair spiralled and curled as it was exposed and as he moved closer he didn't recognise the woman he was unearthing. He moved his hands to her neck to check for a pulse.

It was weak but it was there.

"I got you, you'll be ok. I'll get you out"

She was unconscious, unresponsive and heavily injured. He could only imagine how severe Sara's injuries would be. Eventually he had removed enough of the rubble to pull her out. Apparently the pain woke her from her slumber as she cried out an agonising scream as they fell back onto the floor of the chamber. She clung to his arm, trembling and crying from the pain and trauma.

"hey it's ok, we'll get you out of here"

Karen's face was streaked with tears, Nick knew she had been down here from the beginning. She had been here with Grissom, with Sara and now with him. He wouldn't blame her for giving up. He lay her back against some rocks and reassured her once more.

"I'm not going away, I just have to find Sara ok?"

She nodded weakly, her curls bouncing around her face like springs. He imagined she was normally a happy person, one of those people who talked non-stop about anything and everything and got on everyone's nerves.

Like Greg.

He wished she was like that right now. He could do with the distraction, his side was aching and his head was seeping, he was still incredibly dizzy but if he wanted to see Sara again he was going to have to work through the pain and the haze he was descending into and keep digging.

"is Grissom ok? Did he die?"

He glanced over at her. she was pale, her eyes wide and brimming with tears. She was clearly very worried about him, her hands shook as she moved her hair behind her ears.

"I don't know…"

He turned back to the rocks as she sobbed, huge gasping sobs that echoed off the walls. It made him feel terribly uncomfortable.

"Sara!"

He kept digging. There was blood pouring from his hands as he plunged them into the rubble and heaved it to one side. He felt like he had been digging forever and despite her injuries Karen had crawled to his side to help with the search. They worked in silence. Methodically moving the rocks and stones from one pile to the other, pausing every few minutes to study the cracks and openings for signs of life.

"Sara!"

The rescuers were still arguing outside, the helicopter was returning to the clearing. The dust and dirt was swirling around them as the wind from its blades entered the now huge hole in the mountain. They were both reduced to coughing and spluttering.

As he cleared his throat and took a deep breath to control the pain in his side he spotted something in the rubble. Something glinting in the sunlight. It was Sara's ring, a beam of sunlight shining directly onto her lifeless hand.

"Sara! We found you, thank god we found you"

He moved to her hand, furiously digging through the rubble. He heaved massive rocks to one side crying out with the pain and exertion. He was caked in sweat and blood and dirt but he kept digging, kept fighting for her.

He finally made a hole in the rubble, was finally able to make some leeway in getting to her. Her arm was exposed; he carefully removed a large rock from her shoulder and cleared the rubble from over her head. His heart was racing as he slowly began to clear the rocks from her body. She was terribly injured and completely unresponsive.

His hands trembled as he reached out to check for a pulse they slipped around on her neck. He wasn't sure if he couldn't feel it because it wasn't there or because he was trembling so much. Either way it didn't make him feel good. It made his stomach churn and his heart skip a beat as he slipped his arms under her limp body and raised her out of the rubble.

He called out to the rescuers, his voice bouncing off the walls and reverberating dramatically around the room.

"We need a medic! Necesitamos a un médico!"


	24. Chapter 24

There was an air of confusion around him. No-one seemed to know what to do with him now that he had refused surgery. Doctors and ward managers converged outside his room to discuss their options, it was in their nature to save people.

Sometimes that meant doing things against their will, however, to do that they had to prove that Grissom was not of able mind. Grissom was confident that he could convince any number of psychiatrists that came his way that he was in fact perfectly capable of making such a decision.

His wounds were dressed and he was stabilised as best they could. Everyone who came near him tried to convince him to change his mind. He preferred to filter out their inane ramblings. He filtered out almost everything, spent all his time staring at the ceiling. He had become increasingly familiar with the patterns and stains directly above his bed. Yet the small nurse still tried to speak to him, tried to bring him out of his daze with her cheery small talk and her infernal questions.

"Would you like some tea Dr Grissom?"

"Can I fluff you're pillows Dr Grissom?"

"Nice day today Dr Grissom"

He couldn't even remember her name; she came into the room every few minutes with another question, another anecdote or another story. He began to wish he had been left in the chamber, if anything he would have been where he should be, he would be by the side of his wife and he wouldn't have to listen to this woman's infernal gibberish.

She was checking his blood pressure as she launched into yet another story about her husband and his inability to go fishing without coming home caked in mud. He was sure that under normal circumstances he would have smiled and nodded his head at all the appropriate parts in the story but as it stood he really just wanted her to be quiet. She couldn't seem to come into the room without talking non-stop. Sara would have pursed her lips every time this woman came in. she would have sighed and sat back in her chair trying to stifle the smile that played over her lips.

"I am sorry Dr Grissom; oh I don't know I am always over talking around you"

He turned to look at her for the first time since he had arrived in the hospital. She had caught his attention with that last sentence, sparked a memory in him that made his heart skip a beat and she had absolutely no idea. She looked at him with wide eyed bewilderment as he studied her.

The doctor interrupted them with a psychiatrist by his side. Grissom knew this had been coming, he knew they would try and deem him incapable of making such a decision due to the trauma he had suffered, he had his defence all worked out in advance. He wouldn't let them away that easy.

"Hello Dr Grissom, my name is Eric Lorenzo. I am a psychiatrist; we're just going to have a chat ok? It's nothing to worry about"

If he had the energy he would have rolled his eyes as the balding, tweed suited man sat in the chair beside him. Sara would have loved how stereotypical he was, she would have sat there with a sarcastic comment about comb overs and whether they handed out elbow patches at graduation. He found himself chuckling under his breath at the thought of it, almost nodding in agreement with his hallucination until he remembered he was under psychiatric evaluation.

"We are going to conduct a cognitive test to determine whether you are capable of signing a DNR form today. Will that be ok?"

Grissom didn't like the way the man spoke slowly and pronounced all his words very specifically like he was speaking to a child. He nodded his head knowing full well the content of such a test. If the psychiatrist conducting it had done his research he would know that they rarely work on people with above average IQ anyway but Grissom didn't feel it was appropriate to point that out.

The doctor ran through the test fairly quickly, nodding and taking notes throughout. When he was finished he stood from his chair and shook Grissom's hand.

"Thank you Dr Grissom, that's all I need for now"

"I passed right?"

The Psychiatrist exchanged a glance with the doctor in charge of Grissom's treatment and the small nurse who talked too much.

"I'm afraid not Dr Grissom, you will be scheduled for surgery as soon as possible"

Grissom was stunned to silence; he couldn't believe what he had just heard. The two men left the room chatting among themselves cheerily as though they had just won a victory in a major battle. He was outraged. The small nurse approached him and started pressing buttons on the machines beside his bed.

"It's for the best sir; you'll be feeling better in no time. Up and about tormenting us nurses; I can tell you'd be trouble when you're well. You're not the kind whose mind can just be at rest are you?"

"How could I have failed the test? I know the test. I could probably rewrite the test. They must have doctored the results, I want a second opinion"

The nurse was beside him shaking her head and smoothing his sheets. She cooed soothingly as she pressed the long forgotten button in his morphine pump and he felt himself drift into the soft cloud of sleep.

"You keep talking to Sara sir, you keep talking to her and she's not there"


	25. Chapter 25

He couldn't seem to attract enough attention from the men outside. His voice was so dry and he had shouted as loudly as he could for as long as he could and he got nowhere. His arms ached under the weight of Sara's body and the cuts and scratches he had suffered digging her out.

"Medico! Medico!"

He gently placed Sara down on a cleared patch of ground beside Karen. She took in Sara's injuries with wide eyes that brimmed with tears.

"Oh my god, she's dead isn't she? Oh my god, oh my god"

She gasped and rocked back and forth her hands clutching at a small golden cross on her neck. She began muttering under her breath, a prayer he suspected although he didn't recognise it. He was sure it was appropriate; right now his main concern was with Sara.

He tried once more to find a pulse on her neck; his hands were soaked with blood. He wasn't sure where it had come from; it could belong to any one of the people trapped down here with him. He had a horrible feeling it was from Sara, he could see the dirt around her clump and clot as her blood soaked into it. He didn't really have time to analyse her injuries before. His main concern had been to get her out of the rocks so that they could be rescued. Apparently rescue was not forthcoming although he could still hear the chopper outside.

He still couldn't find a pulse; there was a gash on her neck that made it impossible for him to feel anything there. His hands slipped around in the blood too much. He slipped his hand under her head and stroked her hair away from her face,

"Sara, can you hear me? Sara, give me something girl. Anything"

Sara didn't respond. He grabbed on to her wrist, his fingers squeezing the vein there and relaxing when he felt the soft reassuring beat of her blood flow. His training was kicking in and he suddenly remembered to check her breathing and her responsiveness.

Nick lay her head back down and surveyed the rest of her for any open wounds. The blood oozing into the dirt was coming from a serious wound on her back, he leaned close to her chest and listened to her breathing. It was shallow and somewhat gurgled. He suspected a punctured lung, she needed treatment as soon as possible. She would go into respiratory distress if her lung filled with blood. Her pupils were uneven and unresponsive and she didn't respond to him pinching the skin on her hand. Her trousers were soaked with blood, he wasn't sure where it was coming from but there was a lot of it.

He was beginning to feel desperation setting in, the more he processed her situation the more worried he got and the more obvious the gurgling sound in her chest became. Karen had noticed it too, she watched Sara with pure fear in her eyes.

"She's alive?"

Nick nodded sadly, she was alive for now. There was no need to tell Karen just how fragile Sara's grip on life was right now. He stood under the opening in the mountain and scanned the area for signs of life. He couldn't see anyone but he could hear them. The sounds jumbled and diluted in the air so that he couldn't distinguish actual words, it was incredibly frustrating.

"Hello? We need medical assistance down here"

He paused and listened for a response, the silence suggested that they were hushed and listening.

"Medico! We have a seriously injured woman down here!"

It was anger that replaced his desperation; the fact that people were out there with the means to rescue them and they were doing nothing about it ignited his fierce protectiveness. Sara was like a sister to him, he had to do anything he could to save her and it was a case of _saving_ her. If she didn't get rescued and whisked to a hospital soon it would be her body they were hoisting out of this hole.

He scanned the area for anything he could use. A flashlight or a rock, anything to get their attention. He found a cluster of water bottles instead. Most of them were empty but after working through every one he found one full to the brim with stale, copper tasting water. It scratched down his throat but he swallowed grateful for the miniscule refreshment it offered him.

He handed the bottle to Karen and she grimaced as she took a drink before passing it back to him.

"Taste's great huh?"

She laughed a little, choking back the pain that was clearly coursing through her body.

"I've been down here for days, you have no idea"

He watched her for a few seconds as he kneeled down beside Sara, tilting her head gently as he brought the bottle to her lips.

"Don't pour it in her mouth, she'll only choke. You need to just wet her lips"

He frowned at her from his position beside Sara and took her advice before sitting beside her and exhaling deeply.

"How'd you know about that?"

"Marshall… my husband, was in the army. He taught me a few things"

"Marshall tried to save her too, I have spent the past 3 days trying to stop her killing herself and here I'm practically the one who caused her the most damage"

He turned his eyes to the edge of the hole, it was a thinly veiled attempt to control his emotions. He was scared. Scared that someone he cared a great deal about was dying in front of his eyes and there was nothing he could do about it and scared that the people outside he was depending on to rescue them had given up on them. If they assumed there were no survivors and moved on they would all die down there. Sara's breathing was getting even shallower, her gurgling was becoming more and more obvious and the blood pool around her was expanding with every breath.

"hay alguien ahí? los sobrevivientes?"

His heart skipped a beat, he couldn't believe his eyes were actually seeing the team of medics and rescuers peering into the chamber and calling for survivors. He blinked to be sure it was real; words failed him as he stared open mouthed at the faces searching through the rubble. When Karen nudged his arm he realised that they couldn't see them, they were invisible to the naked eye.

He practically pounced into the space below the hole.

"We need attention, we need a medic. She's hurt"

They didn't seem to understand; they gazed at him with confusion clear on their faces and exchanged looks among themselves. Nick thanked his lucky stars for his fluency in Spanish for what felt like the hundredth time that trip.

"Necesitamos un médico, mi amigo está muriendo"


	26. Chapter 26

Grissom was confused; he was suddenly suspicious of everyone who came into his room. People had been filtering in and out all day, he made a marked effort not to picture Sara in the chair beside him. He figured that was when he had been talking to her; it made sense in a strange sort of way. His injuries must be more severe than he suspected. They looked at him funny and spoke under their voices. All except the small nurse who talked too much, he wished that she would speak under her voice, she droned on and on and he couldn't concentrate on anything when she was there.

"You're lucky in a way sir, if you didn't get this op you probably wouldn't be here by tomorrow"

"That would be better"

The nurse seemed shocked by the extent of his misery; she looked up and met his gaze with an inordinate amount of sadness in her eyes. He suspected she had personal experience of suicide, the investigator in him analysing her reactions automatically. The psychologist in him picking up on the instant change in her demeanour and pitch of her voice.

"You really think that's what she would want? Your wife, you want her to bear the burden of your suicide?"

"She's dead anyway, she'll bear no burden"

The nurse shook her head and clicked her teeth as she moved around the room. She was trying not to say what she was thinking, she was angry he could feel the tension in the room.

"I don't believe that, and if she lives and finds out what you done. How can she bury those ghosts knowing she's responsible?"

He could swear this woman was psychic, if she quoted another Sara phrase he would almost believe her theory that she was alive.

His head told him she was gone, he had witnessed the walls of the cave crumbling away. He saw the piles of rubble where she should have been sitting; the rocks would have squashed her like a bug. There was no way she would have survived.

But then, the same could be said for him.

And his heart disagreed with his theory aggressively. He put it down to wishful thinking; love could be a very strong feeling. Strong enough to quash his insatiable logical thinking. It was in his nature to rationalise his feelings, there was no way he could know whether she was alive or not just by _feeling _it. Yet he couldn't ignore the little voice in the back of his mind telling him not to give up on her.

"And what about the rest of your family, what would we tell them?"

"I don't have any family"

"You might want to tell that to the secretaries then, they have been on the phone to your sister every half hour"

It could only be Catherine, she was the only person he knew who would pretend to be his sister; although he certainly wouldn't put it past Greg.

"She's worried about me?"

"Not worried, more like concerned. She knows your safe"

She clearly didn't understand the significance of their conversation as a smile played on his lips. If he believed in that kind of thing he would have called it a sign.

"Isn't that kind of the same thing?"

It was somehow comforting to know that Catherine was on the case. He should have known that she would be stalking the hospitals for news. There would be no stopping her now that she knew he was alive; in fact he wouldn't be surprised to find her in the waiting room after his surgery. He hoped that she had heard about Sara and Nick and was chasing that trail as well. He could count on her to make sure that no stone was left unturned, even from across thousands of miles.

The nurse lay his bed back and tucked his sheets in signalling that it was time for his surgery. Her smile didn't reach all the way to her eyes; he had obviously touched a nerve. She didn't talk about her husband anymore either, this was the quietest she had been since he arrived at the hospital and it made him a little nervous.

"You know I bet you'll feel much more positive after your op. I may even go and get you some flowers to brighten up the place. No, you're not a flower person are you? A plant… that's right I'll get you a plant"

Maybe it was the medication or the delirium taking but he was sure that was a sign.

The room quickly filled with doctors and they topped up his morphine sending him into a haze of dizziness and detachment. He smiled to himself, not quite acknowledging their conversation as he was wheeled along the long bright corridor towards the operating theatre. Faces peered at him as they walked, endless bright lights hurting his eyes and his head as he fought to stay awake.

It was surreal being awake during the transport, they moved into the theatre and the surgeons appeared in their green and blue scrubs. They looked down on him with smiling eyes and chattered among themselves. A mask was placed over his face and he was told to breathe deeply. Despite the medication it still hurt to expand his chest but he did as he was told. Wheezing in the horribly scented gas and feeling his eyes roll backwards in his head.

The last thing he saw before he surrendered to unconsciousness was a news report on the TV screen outside the room. It was coming from outside the very mountain where he had been trapped, where Sara was buried. His heart began to race as he tried to pull off the mask. He had to focus, he had to hear the report but the surgeons pushed him back onto the bed and the air rushed through the mask even faster.

Darkness gripped him with frightening speed despite his attempts to fight it off but in among all his doubts and fear he had something he had lacked before.

He had hope.


	27. Chapter 27

Sara had never felt like this before. She was aware of things around her, aware that Nick had pulled her from the rubble and hoisted her into his arms. She wanted to reach out to him, she wanted to bury her face in his chest and cry until it was all over but she couldn't. She couldn't do anything in fact. She couldn't even move her lips or a single finger. She remembered having read about paralysis victims communicating through blinking but she couldn't even manage that.

Nick lay her on the ground, he spoke to her at random intervals and she tired, with every ounce of energy she had left to respond. She couldn't even open her eyes although she was aware of movement around her, sounds around her, the wind on her skin and Nick's hands pressing her neck and her wrist desperately. He was checking for a pulse, he thought she was dead. Her mouth was dry, her throat was dry, she felt that if she didn't have something to drink soon her lungs would dry up altogether and yet she couldn't even move her lips.

Then Nick tilted her head and pressed a bottle against her lips, the tiniest drops of water moistened her lips and felt heavenly against the gritty dryness of her mouth. She still couldn't seem to catch a breath; her chest was gurgling and bubbling. It stung like thousands of needles scraping the inside of her lungs and she felt like she was spinning with every breath she tried to inhale.

She could feel moisture surrounding her, it was warm and sticky. She knew deep down it was blood. She knew she was losing blood fast and as a result of that her consciousness was slipping away. She was blacking out for short periods, she knew because she would catch snippets of conversation. A word here or there. A sentence if she was lucky or a sob. It was horrible to feel so out of control, to know there was nothing she could do to strengthen her grip on her life. She wondered if Grissom had felt like this when she had seen him looking so gravely ill. She wondered how he had managed to hold on, he was stronger than her. She wasn't sure that she could do it.

"mi amigo está muriendo"

Nick's voice was desperate, scared and worried. It made her feel even more uneasy than she did already and she managed to flicker her eyes open slowly and weakly.

"Nick! She's awake!"

He was by her side within seconds, looking at her with such concern that she could feel her heart swelling.

"Sara? Can you hear me?"

She tried to speak, her mouth even moved a little but nothing but air escaped her lips. Not a sound was made from her throat except the horrible gurgling and wheezing sounds.

"there's people out there Sara, we're gonna get you out of here I promise"

He left her side again, and she could hear him shouting in Spanish. This time he got a response, she couldn't make out what it was saying but Karen's sobs once more filled the chamber as her eyelids pressed together once again. This time she had no connection with the chamber, she was simply covered in blackness. There was nothing around her but shadows and voices. shouting and angry voices. her mother and father screaming at each other, her brother yelling at her and the other children at her foster homes calling her names. The blackness felt suffocating and yet she couldn't gasp for air or cry out for help, it was too painful, she could merely drag her breaths into her chest as though they weighed 10 times her body weight.

Soon the blackness was replaced by an image. It started small and grew larger and larger as she focussed on it more and more and phased out the horrible voices that called to her. a letter, fluttering in the wind of her subconscious until it came into her eye line and she could see it as though she was reading it for the first time. Had she been able to, she was sure she would be crying.

Grissom's penmanship scribbled over the page and she didn't need to read the words. She could recite each and every one of his many letters to her. Email was a lot quicker she had tried to tell him, he had simply kissed her hand and explained that a letter was more personal and a lot more romantic. He was right of course; would she have held those words so close to her heart if they had appeared on her computer screen instead of on her doormat?

And just like that she could hear his voice, sending shivers up her spine and although her face probably didn't cooperate she was smiling. A pure genuine smile as she pictured his face. His spattering of dark hairs in his now almost completely grey hair. His grizzly beard that he always grew in Peru and shad off when he came home. His breathtakingly beautiful blue eyes that had enchanted her from the very first moment she saw him. And he spoke to her with one of his typical quotations.

"_How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."_

She wondered if he as the one saying goodbye to her or vice versa. Was she giving up so easy? It didn't seem like her at all, she was stubborn to a fault and she wouldn't just let death wash over her and cover her with its veil without putting up a fight.

With a huge painful gasp she was back in the cave in time to see 4 uniformed men sliding down thick black ropes to the ground beside her. Karen was holding her hand now and Nick was calling to them and gesturing towards her. The images making it to her brain were blurred and fuzzy. She blinked furiously to focus, it was a feeble attempt. She knew that but she couldn't help but feel that her connection to the conscious world depended on her ability to see it, to hear it and to feel it. For now she felt blessed to feel no real pain, she could feel that warmth of her blood as it seeped into her clothing but she didn't feel an excruciating pain unless she tried to take a deep breath.

2 of the medics were hovering over her; they felt her stomach and pressed a stethoscope to her chest.

"Está embarazada?"

"Pregnant? No, _no lo creo_. I don't think so"

The medic's got to work quickly, injecting her with morphine and placing a neck brace around her head. The gurgling and crackling in her chest was getting worse, so bad that she could feel it building in her throat like a volcano until she was choking on her own blood.

"Tenemos que hacer un drenaje torácico"

Nick stroked her hair in an attempt to reassure her. He was nodding at the medics and watching in horror as they sliced a small hole in her chest and inserted a long clear tube to drain the blood and fluid from her chest cavity. The wound on her back was covered and white towels stuffed between her legs as they strapped her onto a chest board and covered her with a thick orange blanket.

As they moved her towards the hole and tied the ropes to the stretcher she felt an overwhelming sense of dread. A cloud was passing over her, she felt nauseous and dizzy as the medic's and Nicky all tried to keep her awake and responsive. The blackness closed in on her quickly, not giving her time to react or fight. Before she could do anything she was back in that place with the darkness and the angry voices and she wasn't sure she had the energy to make it back this time.


	28. Chapter 28

Grissom woke to the sounds of his nurse's voice. He was still hazy from the anaesthetic, he felt like he never stopped hearing her voice. He wouldn't have been surprised if she had accompanied him to the theatre with her inccesant ramblings. At that moment in time all he wanted was to be alone. He needed silence and solitude but she was leaning over his bed and chattering with a huge smile on her face.

"your operation went well sir, you're going to be just fine."

He didn't respond, simply stared at the patch of ceiling directly above him. He had moved rooms. The lines and patterns were unfamiliar to him and he sighed realising that he had spent a lot of his time mapping the marks on the ugly tiles as an escape from the sterility of his hospital room.

The nurse couldn't be so easily discouraged though, she was still chattering about her day and her family. She buzzed around the room like a bee constantly busy and flitting from one place to the next without so much as pausing for breath.

When his consultant came in he was glad for the distraction. The nurse immediately fell silent and disappeared out of the room. He was almost tempted to ask him to stay just so he didn't have to listen to her anymore. he talked Grissom through the operation but he was only half listening, the fact that his intestines were damaged and his spleen was removed meant nothing to him. The details of his blood transfusion or his recovery time went in one ear and out the other as he tried desperately to block out the sounds of the room.

He realised that he couldn't visualise her face anymore, his ability to have her materialise beside him was gone along with his pounding head and fragile consciousness. That scared him more than any of the medical procedures they could throw at him, he was sure he would rather be delusional.

The consultant left the room and the small nurse entered almost immediately, she was almost dancing from excitement but he had had just about enough of her stories and mindless chatter.

"please, not now nurse. I just want to be alone"

"but sir…"

"no, I don't want to hear it. Just leave me alone"

"sir…"

"please"

He met her eyes and she stepped back out of the room sadly. Whatever she had to say it was probably completely irrelevant to him. If he knew anything about this nurse it was that she had an uncanny ability to chatter on for hours about nothing. He had no patience today, he wanted to sleep. To feel himself drift off to that beautiful place where none of this had happened and they were happy. His concept of time was askew but he was sure that by now they would have most certainly have been tangled up in each other in the dark confines of his tent.

He had planned on taking her to the temple, she would have been fascinated by the carvings and paintings on the walls. He would have watched as her eyes danced over the images in front of her and her fingers carefully traced the passages in the stone pots and jugs. She would have pictured it bustling with life, the priest's holding court over the poor young woman who was to be offered at the table. She had a wonderful ability to see life in things that were otherwise dead.

Sleep must have taken him over because when he awoke the hospital was a hive of activity. Doctors and nurses rushed back and forth in front of his room. He figured they were probably preparing for a big emergency, a disaster of some sorts and the people were going to need medical attention quickly. It was quite entertaining really, much better than studying his ceiling. He could hear the noise of a TV and the chatter at the nurse's station although no matter how hard he tried he couldn't see any nurse's.

His consultant peered in the room for a second to ask if he needed any more medication and tell him his 'sister' had called. He could just imagine the gossip circulating the lab. Catherine wouldn't rest until she knew they were all ok and on their way back to the US. He wouldn't be surprised if she was making the arrangements already. He knew for certain that he would not be leaving there without his wife. Either way he was leaving with her by his side or he wouldn't leave.

The small nurse was chatting to his consultant outside the room, she looked worried as her eyes darted between the doctor and his bed. Their conversation didn't reach him but the doctor nodded and disappeared in one direction while the nurse gazed into his room sadly for a few moments before padding off in the direction of the nurses station.

He never thought in a million years he would miss her talking, he had longed for silence and now that he had it he found his thoughts were haunting him. He couldn't help but think about his wife. He couldn't help but think about what was happening to her at this very moment, about how badly injured she was, about whether she was even alive. He couldn't help but think about how his life would be without her and the emptiness filled him with so much sorrow he was sure his heart actually hurt.

He felt responsible, it was his fault she had been there at all. If it wasn't for him she would be safe at home. She would be laying in her bed with her hair curled softly around her face and her eyes full of love. She would be lying in their bed chatting to him on her laptop, telling him all about the latest case she had cracked and how the team was getting on. They would be planning her visit as he told her about all the wonderful sights he would show her, the peak of the mountain they had been buried in had the most glorious view of the jungle he had ever seen. The treetops glistened in the sunlight and birds painted like rainbows darted in between their branches happily. She would have loved to sit there watching the beauty of nature, resting her head on his shoulder.

The nurse was back again, another nurse by her side as they hovered in the doorway nervously.

"I'm not coming in for a chat, don't worry."

They heaved a trolley into the room with a huge television perched on the top of it. It was parked at the foot of his bed as he frowned at the two nurses. They didn't say a word, simply plugged the set in and switched it on. The other nurse left the room as his small over-talkative nurse sat beside him in silence with the remote control. She flicked through a few channels before settling on a news channel showing images of a helicopter and a waterfall and an army of medics and press.

He recognised it immediately as the nurse grinned at him and turned up the volume.

"_we are just about to witness the first rescue since the mountain dramatically caved in. reports say there are 3 survivors and medic's had to perform a medical procedure on the woman they are about to remove. Oh and here we are, live images of her rescue, stay tuned for more updates as they happen…."_

Grissom held his breath as the cameraman zoomed in on the ropes and the mountain side and an orange stretcher was hoisted skyward towards the waiting helicopter. Her body was covered in an orange blanket, her head masked by the huge neck brace but he knew it was her. before she disappeared completely inside the cabin of the chopper the camera caught an image of her bloodied hand resting on her abdomen. There was no mistaking her long slender fingers for anyone else and her wedding ring glinted in the sunlight.

"she's alive? She's ok?"

The small nurse laughed and nodded her head as he tried to absorb the information.

She was alive, and she was on her way to him as they spoke.

He was so glad that he wasn't allowed to give up on her.


	29. Chapter 29

Being in a helicopter again brought back some more memories. A strange combination of good and bad memories, the last time she had rode in a Helicopter marked a turning point in not only her relationship but her entire life. She had the feeling that she was a great deal more injured this time and Grissom was not there by her side to gently stroke her hand and reassure her with his presence. The fact that she was so alone frightened her, the medics spoke to her in Spanish. They whipped open her heavy eyelids and shone their bright lights in her eyes. She wished she could turn her face away or tell them to stop but her body was still refusing to cooperate.

The straps of the stretcher bore down on her, pushing her back into the hard plastic base. Her whole body was pulsating as though she could feel every pump of her heart, every rush of blood through her veins accentuated by the heavy exhaustion enveloping her entire body.

She still maintained a weak grasp on reality, as hard as it was to admit she was in a very fragile state. Caught somewhere between alive and dead in a horrible state of limbo. As though she was perched on the cusp of a crossroads, unsure which path to take. On one hand she had a clear road to the serenity and blissful release of death but the other stretched off into the distance, twisted and curved its way through and around obstacles. The only shining light she could see was that on one of those paths there was someone waiting for her, someone she cherished more than her own life perhaps, someone she was always supposed to be with.

When they touched down at the hospital a team of medical staff rushed her through the wide white corridors at break neck speed. The posters and signs rushing past in a blur as they made their way through more double doors than she could count. In contrast the elevator moved ridiculously slowly, the staff stood awkwardly around her bed in silence as opposed to their earlier rabble. Shouting commands and instructions to each other along with her observations.

"she's Hypotensive, we need to get a sonographer on call. This looks like a lot of blood, we have to find the source"

Their words fell on deaf ears as she tried to make sense of her situation. She could see from the monitor that her blood pressure was dangerously low, she heard them talking about Renal failure and Spinal Injuries as they reached their floor and she was wheeled through to a room full of stainless steel with a huge UFO looking light directly over her head.

A man in blue scrubs was hovering over her, his face hidden behind his mask but he had kind eyes. She tried to speak to him, to ask him why she was there, but her lips barely moved in response. She was comforted by the fact that she could open her eyes, if nothing else she could see what was going on even if she couldn't respond to it, however, she was struck by the fact that she still had no control over her body. she had suffered terrible injuries at the bottom of that temple, what if this was her reality now. She was a strong willed and energetic woman the mere thought of living her life in this state of paralysis terrified her.

The man in scrubs was back in her eye line, pressing buttons on a nearby machine before removing her mask. she felt a sense of relief as the sterile medicinal air was replaced with 'normal' air but it was short lived. The man placed another mask over her face and smiled at her through his mouth screen.

"just relax Sara, try to breathe normally. Go to sleep and we'll make you feel better"

It was supposed to be relaxing, comforting even but to her it was ominous and frightening. This man was about to take away the only thing she had left, her consciousness. There was nothing she could do about it, the straps on her bed may have been loosened but she was still a prisoner. She had become a prisoner in her own body.

The blackness that cast over her was not filled with ghosts and voices anymore, she had one image on her mind that scared her more than anything at that moment and the worst part was that it was an image of herself. An image of her future, a woman trapped in the shell of her own body. destined to live her life void of the things she had once prided herself on. Her ability to communicate no matter how difficult the subject and the ability to run, to run free in the fresh morning air. To blow away the cobwebs and burdens her work and her life handed to her. how could she survive without either? What kind of a future did she have?


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: Well since the last chapter was so short I have fired out this one super-quick but it has gone really well so here it is – warning you WILL hate me for leaving it on ANOTHER cliffy but well you should all be used to it for now! Thanks for your wonderful reviews – Charli xxx**

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><p>It wasn't very long before the hospital was buzzing with activity again. from his room Grissom had a good view of the Nurse's station and the corridor beyond that, he heard shouts of the helicopter arriving and sat upright in his bed watching with intense scrutiny for even a mere glimpse of her.<p>

He could hear the chaos approaching, a rabble of noise cascading down the corridor as they moved. He was sure it was her, he could tell by the pounding in his heart as she grew closer and closer. He liked to think of himself as a patient man, a controlled man but right now he was desperate to fast forward time. The knot of nervous energy within him was becoming tighter by the second, the monitor by his side beeping the rhythm of his heart faster and faster as he continued to burn his eyes into the small strip of corridor in his line of vision.

While he had expected to be breathing a sigh of relief when he saw her, he did the exact opposite. He gasped as her lifeless form was wheeled past his window. The doctors and nurses surrounding her were exchanging worried glances and yelling commands as they jostled for space around her bed. The mass of blood seeping through the thick orange blankets made his heart skip a beat and his blood pressure sky rocket as he realised he could still lose her. she was most certainly not out of the woods now she was in the hospital. far from it, Sara was still very much on the edge of her existence.

His hands grasped for the buzzer, he had to be with her. she needed to know he was there for her, waiting for her to fight her battle and come back to him. His hands trembled and shook as he desperately tried to summon the strength to push the button. The buzzer didn't sound at the nurses' station, he couldn't control his shaking for long enough to keep hold of it and it clattered to the ground and slid under the bed. The more angry he got with himself the more he shook and the angrier the beeping from the heart monitor became.

"Nurse!"

He was pretty sure calling for her was fruitless exercise, even if she heard him the chances of her being busy with something else were very high. Especially with new emergencies pouring through the door. He had no doubt the helicopter would currently be winging its way back to the mountainside for Nick and Karen, if they were both still alive of course.

"NURSE!"

He was becoming more and more impatient and desperate, for the first time since he had arrived in the hospital he was wishing his over-talkative little nurse had hung around, he wished he hadn't pushed her away with his antisocial tendencies. Everyone seemed to be busy, people rushed past his room without acknowledging him despite his shouts.

The beeping from his monitor was beginning to annoy him, it cut through his thoughts with its incessant whining. He turned in his bed and found the off switch, sighing with relief when the lights vanished and the noise stopped. He pulled the sticky sensors from his chest, grimacing as they clung to the skin and hairs for dear life. He stared at the IV line disappearing into the crook of his elbow. He wasn't desperate enough to pull that out just yet but he traced the lines coming from it to one of the stands by his bedside and clutched onto it tightly as he steeled himself for the challenge ahead.

He was genuinely surprised at the amount of effort it required to swing his legs around the side of the bed. He as almost gasping for air from the sheer exertion but he was absolutely determined that he would be the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes after theatre. he took a few moments to pool his energy and settle his mind before he heaved himself from the bed. He had to hold his breath to supress the groan of pain that threatened to escape from his throat but he felt a small sense of victory that he was able to stand at all.

The IV stand offered him a minimal amount of support but it was enough for him to shuffle towards the door slowly. He stood there, leaning heavily on the door frame as though his life depended on it. The nurses were all still evading his sight, they were either extremely busy or avoiding him altogether. His breath wheezed in his chest but he coached himself to ignore the pain and the spinning in his head and press on with his mission to find his wife.

He clung to the wall, a feeble attempt to blend in and disappear. He was under no illusions that if he was caught wandering along the hallway he would be escorted back to his bed with an almighty lecture on the way. It also offered him a certain amount of support, it grounded him as he tried to focus through the spinning of his mind and helped his weak legs continue to carry the weight of his body. he felt like he had walked miles but in truth he was barely 10 paces away from his room door. The nurses were yet to resurface, he was surprised it had been so easy. His master escape plan had gone unfoiled and he was almost at the double doors leading to the elevator. Exhilaration flooded his body as he realised he was home free, all he had to do was make it through those doors and stumble into the elevator and he would be well on his way to sitting by her side.

He was beginning to hear the sounds of conversation behind him and realised that if he was to be successful he had to try and move a little faster than a sloth. Shuffling one foot in front of the other with aching concentration had only got him so far, he had to up the pace if he stood any chance of making it to the elevator without intervention. He realised with a great deal of pride that if he tried really hard he could lift his legs and walk, albeit clumsily, a great deal faster than he had been. In the same breath he realised that by doing this and releasing his grip on the wall the dizziness overwhelmed his entire body. so much so that he had no idea where to place his foot as he moved to take a step. The entire corridor spun out of control and no matter what he tried he couldn't grasp anything solid enough to centre himself. If the nurses didn't notice him before they certainly did now. The sound of the IV clattering onto the hard cold floors were masked only by his body crumbling on top of it.

The last thing his eyes saw was the elevator doors sliding closed in front of him as though underlining the fact that he didn't make it, the fact that he had failed her.


	31. Chapter 31

The haze was slowly lifting and she was becoming aware of sounds in the room. They were muffled at first, becoming clearer and easier to distinguish as her anaesthesia wore off. The beeping of the machine to her left was distracting, she could hear the rhythmic music beating out her heartbeat and the gentle scraping as the printer pushed out its trace.

The voices were almost too far away for her to hear although she knew somehow they were in the same room as her, she knew they were speaking about her as they read the information from the monitors. They rhymed off a multitude of numbers and medical terms before switching tone and speaking in an entirely different manner.

"We repaired her punctured Lung; she had a complex fracture on her lower leg. We have cast it for now but it may require further surgery"

She tried to absorb what she was hearing; every now and then the monitor would interrupt her thoughts with its incessant beeping. She scanned her memory banks for her recollections of the past few days. She could remember sobbing on her husband's empty bed in his tiny tent as the monkeys and birds chattered away in the trees, after that everything was gone. She couldn't remember why she was in a hospital or how she had got there, she didn't know the extent of her injuries or how she had got them but in her heart she knew she had found him.

Her body felt numb, like it wasn't attached anymore although she noted with great pride that it responded to her commands. It took every tiny bit of her energy to will herself to move her finger and while the movement went unnoticed by the medical professionals in the room it was momentous to her. That tiny flicker of life in her finger symbolised her mobility and her freedom and she knew that given enough time she would be back to her old self, she just had to recover some of the energy and spark for life she had had before. She just had to remember how to fight, how to use every reserve she had left just to beat the odds and defy the doctors. If there was one thing Sara Sidle was good at it was defiance.

"And what about the Baby?"

It wasn't just the voice that reverberated around in her brain but the question too. Grissom was in the room, beside her, but he was talking about a baby. There was no baby, there couldn't be a baby. Her brain was slow as is cast back over the months, the last time she had bought sanitary products, the last time she had been in a bed tangled in his embrace, the last time the cramp had her bent in two in the bathroom of the lab. She honestly couldn't pinpoint her cycle. She was normally so in control, so regular that she had never had to think about it and now when it mattered the most she had absolutely no idea. But a baby, she was sure she would have noticed a baby.

"Placental Abruption can be very serious, we had to give your wife a blood transfusion and we will monitor her very closely for the next week or so, but I suspect the baby will be just fine. She was very lucky"

It actually made a lot of sense to her now. The nausea, the strange cravings and the intense lethargy. She had lost count of the times she had fallen asleep in front of a Skype conversation with her husband. He was probably worried she was working too hard or that he bored her. She had wondered the same things but a baby had never crossed her mind. She had actually called into work sick a few weeks ago because the mere effort of making it out of bed had exhausted her. She didn't tell Grissom that of course but he knew, he always knew when she was especially tired or grumpy. He always knew when she was sick or feeling a little unloved or had a particularly harrowing case. She suspected Catherine or Nick kept him updated.

He grasped her hand firmly, the sensation made her gasp slightly and the machines responded to her rushing heart. His thumb stroked the top of her hand gently as the doctor continued to speak to him about monitoring and documenting both hers and her baby's vital statistics.

She could tell when he upped her morphine, her thoughts started spinning out of control and she felt like she would spin right off the bed if she didn't grip onto something. She was still so very weak, her brain just about managed to twitch her fingers as a cold jelly was applied to her exposed abdomen. She hated feeling so out of control. Hated the inability to influence what was happening to her but Grissom's hand clutched hers tighter as though hanging onto her and she pulled all her energy to squeeze back. She wasn't even sure he would register it as a squeeze, it was a feeble attempt at letting him know she was there, she was conscious and able to participate.

Something hard was pressed down on her as a strange thumping sound beat into the room. The Doctor moved the paddle around clicking every few seconds and she could feel Grissom's grip relaxing. She knew the sound was her baby, a precious heartbeat against all the odds. It thumped away like a little train, reassuring them that while they were beside themselves with worry the baby was perfectly happy, enclosed in its soft, warm womb. Grissom's grip on her hand tightened again and she heard him shuffle in his seat. His breath tickled her neck as he leaned in close and whispered in her ear.

"That's our baby you can hear, our baby"

The emotion in his voice astounded her as a tear fell from his face and ran down the skin of her neck, she realised just how close she had come to losing her life and that of her unborn child. The dizziness was beginning to pass; she actually had a weak grasp of reality and a small amount of energy to spare. She concentrated on opening her eyes, she could hear her baby but now she wanted to see it too. She wanted to be sure it was real and not a trauma induced alternate reality she had created in her exhausted mind. At first the bright lights made it impossible, her eyes quickly screwing up to avoid the harshness of the room. A few tries later and she was able to peer through her thick dark lashes and see her husband silhouetted against the white backdrop of the hospital walls.

He had aged in the time they had been in hospital, the grey in his hair seemed more accentuated and his beard was thick and unkempt. The worry lines marking his forehead and eyes were accentuated as he stared expectantly at the screen. His eyes still shone with all the passion and enthusiasm she loved him for. When he looked at her all the worry evaporated, those sparkling eyes looked right into hers. His hand was gone from hers, now stroking her hair and uttering words she couldn't quite hear.

"Would you like to know the sex of your baby?"

Her neck protested with a searing pain as she turned to face the doctor standing to her side, instead of focussing on him her eyes fell to the image on the screen. There wriggling around like a little jumping bean was that strange alien life form they were calling her baby. She didn't acknowledge the question, she was hypnotised by the image. Much like the flame of a candle flickering she was entranced and she couldn't take her eyes off it. She didn't want to, she would happily lie there for the duration of her pregnancy and watch as her baby grew and matured. She watched as her baby kicked its legs and raised its tiny hand to its mouth completely awestruck at the beauty and the wonder of new life. She didn't hear what the doctor said, Grissom shook his hand with such enthusiasm she could only imagine it was good news as he kissed her forehead. The image disappeared as the doctor switched off the machine and left the room. Grissom beamed at her as he wiped the jelly from her tummy, his hand lingering there for a few long moments as she drifted off into a blissful sleep.


	32. Chapter 32

The nurses had come running when they heard the clatter, he hadn't stayed unconscious for long. His mind was too focussed on one thing to switch off so easily but his head hurt and his legs felt like jelly as he tried to stand up. If only the nurses had been so keen to help him when he needed it earlier they wouldn't be in this position. They heaved him into a wheelchair and started moving him back towards his room.

"No I want to go to Sara. I need to go to theatre"

They completely ignored his protests, wheeling him away and shushing him. The rooms whizzed past, he saw Karen being wheeled in and was momentarily distracted. She was in shock, her chalk white face was stained with tears and she shook and trembled in her bed. Her leg was fully encased in a thick padded brace, he was glad she was relatively ok. She would be reunited with her son and her husband, just like she had wanted.

They parked him in the centre of his room and made preparations to move him to his bed. He wondered where his talkative nurse was, she would at the very least listen to him. She would never dismiss him the way these nurses were. His hands clamped onto the arms of the chair.

"I am not moving from this chair until I have seen my wife"

They exchanged glances and shrugged before applying the brake and leaving the room without a word. Grissom wasn't an angry man, it usually took a lot to flare his temper but this was enough. He could feel the rage building up in his stomach and spreading over his body until his heart was beating fast and his knuckles were white from gripping the chair so tight.

The nurses ran out of sight as another patient came in, he recognised the short dark hair and the voice. He watched the stretcher pass by his window, he was conscious but it was obvious he was injured. The medic's ushering him into a nearby room for assessment as they poked and prodded at his injuries and hoisted IV fluids above his head. His hands and arms were saturated with blood, scratched and gouged sharp shards of rock and rubble.

Everyone was out, everyone who had survived at least. There was still a risk for all of them; Grissom himself was still very poorly. He had been warned about the fragile state of his internal organs, he had been told to rest in his bed indefinitely. He didn't care, the overwhelming feeling coursing through his body was not one of pain it was heartache, and he had to be by her side to be sure she was ok.

He reached down to flip the footrests of the chair out of the way and firmly placed his feet on the ground. He would try again, he would keep trying until he was either taken to her r he was completely incapacitated. He body felt heavy, completely weighed down as he heaved himself out of the chair with a groan. At least getting out of the bed had been relatively easy, gravity helped when moving down but it was a huge burden when trying to fight it.

He squeezed his eyes together in an effort to focus his vision, the door frame seemed to twist and turn as he took a few feverish steps towards it. He almost jumped when his nurse appeared in the door and approached him with a frown.

"Mr Grissom, I just knew I would have trouble with you, I heard you were out at the elevator when I was on my lunch and I said to myself he will not just sit in his room if his wife is here, those other nurses underestimated you but not me. No sir."

She sat him back in the chair, placed his feet back on the footrests and continued to talk. He wondered if she ever ran out of breath, if at times she found herself lost for words or if she talked incessantly at all times.

"So when they came down and told me about it, they said they had just left you in the chair. Said you refused to move and I just knew you wouldn't sit there sir, I knew it so I finished up my lunch early and look what I find. You see I know you better than you think Mr Grissom. I'm good like that, I can read people"

He was completely bewildered about what was going on. Not that he stood a chance of getting a word in to ask he would just have to be washed away on her wave and see where it took him.

"So I spoke to my boss and he said no, he said you were too weak. He said you should be on bed rest and fluids and you should most definitely not be wandering around the hospital. Oh your other friends were ok by the way; I heard they came in a little while ago. That lovely soldier man Marshall that came in before you is with his wife. It was a beautiful reunion by all accounts."

She pressed the elevator button, reaching down to fix his hospital issued nightwear and check his pulse with a smile.

"Anyway its lucky for you I can be very persuasive, and he owes me a favour or two. Never underestimate the power of helping out the old boss Mr Grissom. My mother always taught me that and it has never let me down."

She wheeled him into the small elevator and pressed a button as the doors slid closed.

"So I told him, I would take you in your chair. Just for a little while. Because I know you, I know that you'll never just sit there when your wife is down here"

The sign above the double doors said 'theatre' and his heart skipped a beat as he realised where they had been heading. The nurse parked him in the waiting area and chatted to the secretary for what felt like hours until the surgeon appeared and sat in the chair in front of him.

"Mr Grissom? Nice to meet you sir, I'm Dr Cunningham. I've been working on your wife"

Grissom nodded and prepared himself to hear bad news. He was expecting her to have lost the baby; he expected to hear of a multitude of other injuries too.

"Sara lost a lot of blood; she had to have a complete transfusion. She has placental abruption; it's too early to deliver the baby so she will have to be under bed rest and supervision for the foreseeable future. She had some damage to her Liver, we had to remove part of it and we are worried about one of her kidney's we will have to keep a close eye on it. They drained her lung in the cave, we managed to repair that and her leg is cast. She was knocked about pretty bad but I think she was lucky."

Grissom was shocked, he shook the doctor's hand and the man turned to chat to his nurse. Sara was so broken, she had suffered so many injuries and yet she was still here, still alive, still fighting. He couldn't believe he had been so willing to give up, so willing to say goodbye. The small nurse smiled at him and kneeled down beside his chair.

"Your wife's a feisty one isn't she? I do hope I'm off for a few days when she's feeling better. I might have to pull a few strings and get you a room together"

She winked at him and placed her hand on his shoulder. As irritating as she could be this nurse had been somewhat of a godsend over the past few days. She unclipped the brake again and moved him towards the elevator.

"Where are we going, I haven't seen her yet?"

"She's in recovery. She won't be awake for another couple of hour's sir. You need to get some sleep."

"I want to be there when she wakes up" he pleaded with her, looked into her eyes as he spoke. "Please"

She hesitated as the elevator doors swished open. Looked at the secretary and back to Grissom before sighing deeply and allowing the elevator to close again. She twirled his chair around and pushed open a set of double doors to the left of the desk.

"You're going to get me fired Mr Grissom. Do you know that? You're very lucky I believe in love, if I had been a more cynical woman you would still be sitting in your room strapped to your bed with a nice fat sedation needle in your buttock"

"Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me"

"Oh I do, I know just how much it means sir, my husband died last year. They wouldn't let me sit by his side. They wouldn't let me near him until it was too late. I didn't get to hold his hand until it was already cold and stiff and I will always regret not fighting as hard as you have."

He was gobsmacked; she had spoken so fondly of her husband. Spoken about his fishing trips and his favourite meals. He felt like he knew the man and they had never met, he would never have expected him to be dead.

"I'm … I'm sorry"

She nodded to the recovery nurse and was directed towards Sara's room.

"Don't you worry about that, you've got something here I never want you to let go of. Never take her for granted; never lose that need to be together, to be there for her because no matter how much she says she doesn't she needs you."

He nodded as he was wheeled into her room. A multitude of machines surrounding her bed, wires and tubes coming from her body at all angles. She parked him as close as she could; he took her hand in his. It was lifeless and clammy and it scared him, he didn't like to see her so weak and so vulnerable. He much preferred when she looked at him with twinkling eyes and smiled that wide gapped tooth smile he loved so very much.

"I have to go do some work now sir, if you need anything the nurses here will look after you but try not to need anything you're not supposed to be here"

She winked as she left the room; he made a mental note to remember to thank her properly before he left. He just sat there for a very long time clutching her hand, watching the monitor draw the rhythm of her heartbeat on the screen, listening to the beeping of the machine and the hustle and bustle of the ward. A young doctor came in and introduced himself as the obstetric consultant. He pulled a machine behind him and told Grissom he was going to be checking on the baby. It was dangerous for a pregnant woman to undergo surgery but this surgery had been necessary, he explained that there may be damage to the baby that they couldn't see or predict but Grissom was just pleased to hear that they were both still alive.

When she squeezed his hand and flickered her eyes open he felt an overwhelming sense of pride. He had thought he had missed his chance to be a father, thought that spending all that time in indecision had taken the choice away from them but apparently he was wrong. Fate had a different plan for them and as scared as he was he intended to seize his second chance with both hands.


	33. Chapter 33

**a/n: sorry for the delay. My internet is down. hope you enjoy! x**

She must have been sedated; it was the only explanation for the massive time lapse between his visit in recovery and waking in an altogether different room. She could hear Grissom speaking with a chatty nurse. It struck her as unusual; Grissom was never known for being talkative.

She opened her eyes and heaved her line of vision towards his voice. He was in a seated position on his bed, propped up by a mountain of pillows as a small nurse fussed around him. She was adjusting his IV line and pressing buttons on his monitor, tucking the edges of his sheet under his mattress and passing him a glass of water before she disappeared out of the room and he looked in her direction.

"Nurse's pet!" her voice was weak and raspy but she was thankful for the ability to talk at all. At last her body was responding to her commands.

"She's a very nice lady, even if she does talk too much"

"You're ok?"

He reached out for her hand, their beds placed slightly too far apart for him to reach comfortably.

"So they tell me, although they could be a hallucination too"

"You were hallucinating? I think I probably was too"

Her hand absentmindedly stroked her stomach, a gesture that didn't go unnoticed to her husband. Her mind hadn't quite finished processing the information from the last time she was awake. It simply couldn't be true, she couldn't imagine how a life could be forming inside her body and she would have no idea. Surely her life wasn't that hectic, that busy that she would have missed something so immense. How on earth would she have found out if it wasn't for the temple? She had visions of spontaneously going onto labour in the middle of a crime scene with no idea what awaited her.

"That wasn't a hallucination Sara that was true"

"No… no I can't…"

Grissom looked at her like she had just stabbed him through the heart and left him for dead. She was genuinely shocked at the hurt and sorrow she saw in his eyes when her own eyes brimmed with tears. In all honesty the thought of becoming a mother terrified her more than anything in the world.

"Sara, I thought you would be happy. This is good news isn't it?"

Her chest still hurt when she tried to take deep breaths, her vision still spun and her words took an age to form in her brain. She was slow and sluggish, her mind clouded as she tried to answer his question. It was a difficult question to answer, especially in her fragile mental and physical state.

"I… I don't know Gil. We don't even live in the same country"

The small nurse came into the room with a wide smile as she fiddled with Sara's machine.

"Would you look at you two, isn't it romantic? I feel like I know you already. This man has not stopped talking about you since he arrived. Now Catherine has been on the phone. She's arranged for you all to be transferred to Las Vegas this afternoon. Cost her a fortune I'd wager but she was very insistent."

"Catherine can be like that"

The nurse laughed a hearty little laugh as she began disconnecting machines from the wall and hooking IV lines onto portable stands.

"Ahh she's just like her brother then…"

Sara shot him a questioning look and he shook his head slightly.

"I have to go and deal with your friend; I'll bring him in here shortly ready for your flight."

When she had gone Sara turned to him again with a smile.

"Brother?"

"Well I guess they would only speak to a relative, you know how Catherine can be"

She did know how Catherine could be; she was a very headstrong opinionated woman. While she had grown to love Catherine for what she was she knew that the second she found out about her pregnancy she wouldn't hear the end of it. She could almost hear the stories and endless titbits of advice already.

"We don't have to tell her you know, if you don't want to. We can wait a while"

She wondered whether she was really that obvious or if he had just learned to read her mind over the years. He always seemed to know exactly what she was thinking lately.

"I just don't know about this…"

He sat up in his bed, twisting his legs around to face her and take her hand into his. His thumb gently rubbed the palm of her hand; it was a reassuring gesture she had grown familiar with.

"Sara, I really thought you would be happy"

"I guess I need to get used to the idea"

He passed her a fuzzy black and white image, the same image she had been staring at on the monitor. It took her a while to visualise the baby, it was like the inkblot tests she had studied in Psychology at college. Perception was a funny thing, every person in the world looking at the very same image and seeing something completely different. Grissom saw the future, a family he probably thought impossible. She saw someone whose entire life path was her responsibility, she saw her own parents and their obvious failings and she saw a family that she wasn't entirely sure was working the way it was, without a child.

"I'll come back to Vegas, you know. I always would have, you only had to ask"

"You know I would never have asked, you're living your dream, you're happy, I would never take that away from you"

"Sara, you will always come first. If I thought for one second you were lonely or unhappy I'd be by your side as soon as I could. I'm going to call UNLV as soon as I get out of hospital, I'm sure they will have a position for me"

She half wished he had told her that earlier. The past few months had been difficult, she found herself questioning their relationship more and more. She would have felt guilty if she ever broached the subject with him; while she questioned their relationship she never questioned their love for each other. She knew that no matter how far apart they were that would never change but she was lonely. She was turning back into workaholic Sara of many years ago only now instead of going work to spend time with him she was going to work to avoid spending time alone.

"I miss you, a lot more than I probably should"

Nick was wheeled into the room by the small nurse, his hands and torso bandaged tightly.

"She does you know, spends all night pining about the lab"

"Shut up Nicky I do not!"

"How you doing? You had me really worried for a while, you both did. Last time I go chasing you two across the country"

She smiled at him, her energy levels were dropping. She could barely keep her eyes open and her words diminished to a whisper.

"I'm ok, I'm… tired"

She fell asleep as she finished speaking, her sonogram image still clutched in her hand. Nick spotted it relatively quickly and glanced towards Grissom.

"She's pregnant? Is the baby ok? I told them she wasn't"

"We didn't know, she didn't know. Well at least I don't think she knew. She's not taking it as well as I thought she would"

"She's scared, she'll come round"

The nurse was accompanied by an army of medical staff as the prepared to move them from the hospital. Grissom was transferred to a wheelchair, only Sara remained on her bed, sleeping and completely oblivious to the whole thing. The nurse injected a clear liquid into her IV.

"What's that for?" Grissom enquired quietly.

"We need to sedate her for the journey, she'll be fine. She'll wake up in Vegas as though nothing happened"

Only he knew she wouldn't, she would wake up in Vegas with an unwanted child growing inside her and there was nothing they could do about it. With Sara's history of self-destruction he knew he had a challenge ahead. If he couldn't get her to bond with her baby they could all be in trouble.


	34. Chapter 34

The journey felt like it took a lifetime; by the time they touched down in Las Vegas they were all exhausted. It felt good to be back on the familiar streets, passing by buildings and landmarks they knew like the back of their hands.

The bright lights whizzed past as their ambulance sped through the streets. It concerned him, the haste, and the urgency in their transit. He hadn't realised they were a priority, he had been reassured that the fact Sara was awake and alert was a good thing.

"What's going on?"

The young paramedic had been fussing about Sara since they got in the vehicle. His pasty face and worried eyes concerned Grissom but not as much as his slapping the side of the monitor and shaking his head at the readouts.

"I'm uh… your wife needs to get to the hospital, her blood pressure is dropping. I … I can't get a read on the baby"

Grissom felt his hear drop out of his chest. The logical part of his brain telling him to remain calm, that it was perfectly normal for the baby to be unreadable in the circumstances but the sentimental part of his brain appeared to be taking over. The paramedic moved the huge belt over Sara's stomach and desperately stared at the monitor with baited breath, waiting to see the needle mark out the heartbeat. His face visibly fell when the needle remained stationary, unmoving, still.

He felt panic wash over him as the Paramedic pulled out a different machine and placed it onto Sara's exposed abdomen. Grissom couldn't bear to breathe as he watched his search; every time he moved it to another part of her stomach his heart jumped a little willing his child to let its presence be known. He moved it round for a few long seconds before the ambulance was filled with the gentle chugging of a heartbeat. Tears formed in his eyes as the sound raced on, it was the most beautiful sound he had heard in his entire life. All the great symphonies and arias of the world were not a patch on the breath-taking sound of his baby's life force. He could finally breathe again.

The ambulance snaked in and out of traffic, weaving its way through the masses as it made a beeline to the hospital. Nick's transport was probably miles behind, taking a leisurely drive through the neon lights of the city but before long Sara was wheeled through the doors of Spring Valley Medical centre. The Paramedic placed a hand on Grissom's shoulder before he could leave the ambulance.

"We have to take you to a different hospital, they can't treat you here. We're taking you to Southern Hills. It's just a few miles away"

Grissom watched as Sara's bed was whisked away by the doctors and nurses into the bright white lights of the hospital. after all their hard work, their determination to be together he had thought that coming home to Las Vegas would have made it all better and yet they were still trying to pull them apart. He had already witnessed the desperate scramble to find his baby's heartbeat. There was no way he would just watch her go now.

"I'm not leaving her."

Grissom pushed past the paramedic, trying to pretend that his legs weren't shaking under the pressure or that his head was swimming. Every bit of strength he had went into keeping himself upright but as he stepped onto the cold asphalt of the parking lot he felt everything fail him. His eyes rolled skywards and he fell back onto the step of the ambulance with a heavy sigh.

"You're still weak sir; they'll take good care of her"

He rubbed Grissom's shoulder reassuringly and helped him to stand again. Grissom was sure he was right but who was he to understand that he needed to be with Sara when she was going through this. He needed to be there to hold her hand and tell her everything was ok. He needed to gently brush her hair out of her face and whisper sweet nothings in her ear. He needed to stay with her to support her because no matter what happened to the baby in there Sara was going to need him.

"I'm not going to a different hospital; I'm staying with my wife"

"Sir… I"

"I can try and walk there again or you can get me a chair, either way I am going with Sara"

The poor young man didn't really know what to do then, his eyes darted back and forth as he stuttered out half formed words until he disappeared around the side of the ambulance. Grissom heaved breath into his chest; it still hurt a great deal. Breathing, moving, talking but he was a determined person. If the paramedic wouldn't help him he would make it there one way or another.

The young paramedic returned with a consultant by his side. He looked Grissom over and smiled a gentle kind smile before he held out his hand and introduced himself.

"I am Doctor James; I hear you're not a fan of Southern Hills?"

"My wife is here. I have to be with her she's very sick"

The doctor nodded and began to flash his tiny flashlight in his eyes and listen to his chest.

"Your wife has to stay here; this hospital has the only level 3 neonatal intensive care unit in Nevada. You on the other hand are post-surgery, you're weak, and your blood pressure is unstable…"

Grissom found himself supressing one of Sara's trademark eye rolls. He knew where this was going, the doctor would launch into a list of all the reasons why he should go to a different hospital in the hope that Grissom would stop his protests. In actual fact Grissom had no intention of ever relenting.

He filtered out the speech, his eyes drawn to the whiteness of the hospital foyer in an attempt to find out what they were doing to Sara. He had been warned of the risks of course, he knew just how fragile both Sara and the babies grip on life was. He knew that a long arduous flight would take its toll on anyone's body.

He just wished that for once things would be simple. Easy, like it was for other people. You fall in love, get married and make a family. Not for them, it was never that straightforward in their story and this just underlined the fact.

Suddenly the doctor's voice penetrated his mind, he had tried very hard to ignore whatever he was saying but now he was looking at him expectantly like he had just asked him a question and was waiting for an answer. Grissom looked into his kind face, a small frown furrowing his brow as he shook his head.

"If I take you in until she's stable will you promise to go to Southern Hills for treatment?"

Grissom couldn't quite believe what he was hearing; he had anticipated a long tiring argument. He furiously nodded his head, thankful for any kind of leeway he could find. The thudding in his chest forgotten, the throbbing pain in his side pushed to the back of his mind, the trembling in his limbs and the spinning in his head ignored in favour of sliding into a cold uncomfortable wheelchair and following the trail of his wife.

The genuine fear that was building up inside him was beginning to get troublesome. Migraines were one of the banes of his life but he had never had a panic attack before. At least that's what he hoped he was having because the alternative did not bear thinking about. As he passed nurses and doctors, patients and visitors lining the many rooms of the hospital he could feel his chest tighten, his hands shaking a lot more than before, his breathing choke in his throat. He told himself to calm down, that she was in the best place and everything would be fine and then the chair was wheeled past a room full of tiny, red, alien like babies hooked up to a multitude of machines and tubes. He had never seen anything so small and delicate in his entire life.

Those tiny little creatures holding onto a tiny shred of life, defying all the odds to just survive another hour, another day. Their anxious parents watching on from the side-lines, unable to experience that precious first touch, the feeling of their baby in their arms, the unforgettable smell of a new-borns soft skin, just praying for a glimmer of hope.

They looked at him with their red eyes and mournful expressions, they conveyed a multitude of pain and sorrow in one simple look and he realised how close he was to becoming one of them. He could be the one sitting in that room gazing out of the window at the untold numbers of healthy babies passing by. The pink and blue bundles of love with their chubby little legs and their wide curious eyes. He could be sitting there watching his own child fight for its life in a number of hours and what would become of Sara then? She would surely crumble under the stress; she would retreat into that dark place in her mind that told her to run. That scared little child inside her that needed comfort and protection would resurface and he didn't know how to deal with it now any more than he knew how to deal with it the last time.

The image sent his consciousness into free-fall. The walls and floors falling away into a blackness that spun round and round until he had no grasp on reality at all. With a shuddering pain in his chest he fell from the chair, his head colliding with the hard floor as medics rushed to his side.

A heart attack, of course it was a heart attack.

Gil Grissom didn't panic, he was far too logical for that.

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><p><strong>AN: I know, I know! I'm being mean again, I'm sorry. I have to go where the story takes me and it took me here. I promise to update really soon so you don't all hunt me down and kill me :D p.s Happy Thanksgiving to all my wonderful readers from the USA may you eat until your fit to burst and have much to be thankful for xxxx**


	35. Chapter 35

**a/n: as promised a quick update, I think everyone's red and reviewed by now thank you! keep it up ;o)**

"_Get her inside, quickly"_

Voices filtered through her dreams. It was a strange combination; she had the sensation of moving but her consciousness told her she was lying in her bed, at home. Safe and warm in her husband's arms. The sensation was so real. His strong arms enveloping her in his grasp, the heat of his body, the gentle beat of his heart and rhythm of his breathing soothed her. Yet she knew, somehow, that they were a figment of her imagination.

A dream, protecting her from reality.

"_Sara, can you hear me Sara? We're going to take good care of you"_

She knew because she could feel him holding her hand, somewhere a million miles from where her consciousness rested she could feel his hand around hers, she could feel his thumb caressing the top of her hand in that familiar way he always did.

"_Where are you taking her I have to go with her?"_

The voices that broke through were soft and muffled. She couldn't determine words, couldn't pick out syllables or sentences but she knew they were voices and they were urgent and scared. His hand was pulled away and she felt cold and alone. She felt scratching, a pressing on her tummy that reminded her of her baby.

"_Her blood pressure is dropping, we need to move fast"_

Her baby.

That was the most frightening thing she had ever heard. It made her feel incredibly alone, although it should have done precisely the opposite. She felt Grissom's arms around her tighten and she looked down to trace a finger along the length of his strong arm, right to his fingertips. Then her eyes studied what that familiar hand was holding. Her fingers tentatively rested on the white bundle, she was transfixed hypnotised as she unwrapped the folds of fabric.

"_We're losing her, get her to rescus!"_

Over and over again she moved fold after fold until she could hear a baby's cry sound into the air, screaming through her ears like a siren. Desperately she pulled at the fabric, pulled it away and watched as the fabric unravelled, the bundle twisting and turning as it fell into a dark abyss. She pressed her hands to her ears in an effort to supress the screaming, squeezed her eyes closed but the image didn't go away. A baby, her baby, running away from her and there was nothing she could do. Only there was no baby, the fabric simply unravelled to a sheer length and the screaming stopped as abruptly as it had started.

"_Start compressions, get the defibrillator!"_

She was back on the bed, with her husband, wrapped in his arms but one thing within her was different. As scared as she felt at the thought of having a baby the terror she felt at losing her baby was worse.

"_Charge to 150, quickly!"_

It was like an epiphany; suddenly she could picture a family. Her mind had never attempted to create such an image before, never envisioned how their children might look because it had never crossed her mind. She didn't think she had a maternal bone in her body, the mere thought of night feeds and diaper changes sent shivers up her spine but in the same breath she knew that with Grissom by her side she could do anything. He had already inspired and encouraged so much in her life.

"_She's still in VF, charge again"_

She could see his bright blue eyes shining out from a tiny person cradled in her arms. Such innocence and trust reflected in them she was awestruck. If there was anything more perfect in the entire world she was yet to see it. Grissom was there, seated beside her at the edge of their big comfortable bed, his hand resting on her shoulder. Gently kneading her tired muscles and kissing her sleepy head. It was dark and cold but he surrounded her in warmth. He looked at them both with such pride and such love she felt her words choke in her throat.

"_We got her! keep her stable while we find this baby"_

His hand on her shoulder disappeared, the bed replaced by a hard plastic chair. She was sitting in the break room at the lab, a huge swelling in her tummy as Ecklie berated her in front of everyone.

"Did you think I wouldn't notice? That you could keep this a secret"

He gestured to her stomach as she placed a protective hand on the hard lump. She was astounded as it started to move and squirm under her touch. Her baby alive and kicking, quite literally. She should have been angry, defending her corner to Conrad Ecklie as she had a number of times before but the sensation brought a huge smile to her face that she couldn't supress. A laugh bubbled up in her throat as her hands were poked and prodded and pushed out of the way by this tiny creature that hadn't even entered the world yet.

"_Come on baby, where are you hiding? Get a sonogram in here!"_

The visions in her head were jumping around. It was hard to keep track of what was real and what wasn't. As she attempted to focus her energy on the voices she became aware of a slither of light in the enduring blackness. A tiny portal to the real world. She clung to it, expanded it slowly and carefully until her eyes were met with the bright white lights of a hospital. She was still very dizzy and no-one seemed to notice she was awake. Her body was relaxed, the tube down her throat didn't choke her, the wires attached to her chest didn't itch, and the injection that was stuck into her arm didn't hurt.

"_I can't find anything"_

But she could see it all, see them rushing around her, see the concern on their faces as they relayed information back and forth and passed all kinds of medical implements back and forth. A nurse approached her with a big machine on a trolley. The doctor waved to her furiously, demanding the paddle with panic in her voice.

"_Come on baby, come on"_

And now the sun was forcing her eyes closed, she sat on a checked blanket with food all around her. The breeze brought her the scent of fresh flowers. Grissom could probably identify each one and tell her exactly what species of insect dined or lived on it. He was rather preoccupied, she noticed as she shielded her eyes from the sun with her hand.

"Come on baby, come on"

He crouched low down in the grass, his smile wide and his eyes sparkling. He reached out his hands and a mass of brown bouncy curls fell into his arms giggling gloriously like a choir of silver bells. It felt like a memory, only in reverse. Sara smiled at the image, Grissom. Her Grissom, as a father, He would be a wonderful father.

"_CODE BLUE! We need some help out here!"_

She lay back on the soft blanket, gazed at the clear blue sky and pressed her eyes closed. The gentle breeze and hum of nature was replaced with the suffocating heat of the hospital, the sterile smell, the incessant beeping. She strained her eyes open, a few moments of discomfort to deal with the glare before she could focus.

"_Bring him in here"_

Even through her fuzzy consciousness and blurred vision she knew it was him. Something stirred in her soul that told her without having to see it. His bed was wheeled beside her, a young nurse calling to him and shining her torch into his eyes. They tore his shirt open, placed some sticky pads on him and hooked him to the machine she had, just a few minutes ago, been hooked up to herself.

She twisted in her bed, the tube suddenly choking in her throat, the cannula aching in her arm, the sticky pads itching and pulling at the skin on her chest and the belt pressing into her stomach felt restrictive. Instinctively she moved her hand to the tube, her throat convulsing as it attempted to expel the foreign object penetrating it. Someone was by her head, she stroked her hair and told her to swallow as she slipped the tube out and Sara gasped for air. It felt like a fire was raging from her mouth all the way to her lungs.

"_She's awake, what should we do?"_

She felt like her airways were closing, the fire moving back up her oesophagus to her mouth until she was gasping for air. Her mouth was so dry, so incredibly dry it stuck together when she tried to call for help. Her eyes darted around as the nurses rushed around her and all she could think was 'where's Grissom? What are they doing to him?'

"_We need to sedate her; we've lost the baby again"_

She tried to squirm away from them, she felt completely helpless. She had no control over anything and that panicked her. They were surprisingly strong as they held her down; injecting a clear liquid into the portal in her arm and within seconds she could feel the haziness wash over her. She tried to fight it, tried to keep her eyes open and look at her husband but the only thing she saw was the bottom of his legs and the voices.

those voices again, becoming increasingly weak and faded until she was back on the picnic blanket, basking in the glorious sunshine and watching the two most precious things in the world knowing that in reality she could be losing them both.


	36. Chapter 36

Catherine paced her living room impatiently. She had spent a large portion of the last few days glued to the telephone arguing with medical staff thousands of miles away to get her friends back home. She glanced at her watch. They really should have landed by now but she was getting nowhere fast. The airport, the ambulance service and the hospital in Peru couldn't seem to give her a straight answer and she had to leave for work soon.

Greg sauntered through from the kitchen carrying a huge tub of ice cream. His socks flopped about as he dug a spoon into the centre of the tub and devoured the mound of frozen desert hungrily. Catherine eyed him with surprise, about to launch into a rant about raiding her fridge when someone piped up on the other end of the phone.

"Hello, yes this is Catherine Willow's. I'm with the LVPD crime lab. I'm trying to locate some colleagues of mine who should have been relocated from Peru today"

Greg flopped back on her sofa, she marvelled at how easily he made himself feel at home wherever he was. She ran through the names and dates of birth and the secretary put her on hold. Greg flicked through the channels half-heartedly irritating her enough to grab the remote control from his hands and send him an exaggerated eye roll. She flicked the TV off as he started nosing through the pile of magazines stacked under the coffee table.

"They are?"

Greg sat bolt upright and stared at her with enthusiasm as she pointed at the phone and nodded.

"And what is their condition? Well no I'm not technically family but… ok I understand. Thank you"

She hung up the phone with a heavy sigh and perched beside Greg to take a scoop of ice cream.

"Grissom and Sara are at Spring Valley"

"Are they ok? What about Nick?"

"I don't know where Nick is and they won't tell me how they are" she sighed heavily.

"So what do we do now? Wait for them to call us? Head over there? We should head over there"

She nodded slowly and walked over to the door. He stood up to hunt for his shoes, finding only one and goofily searching for the other as Catherine waited impatiently by the door. He looked at her in desperation, the other sneaker bewildering him.

"It's under the sofa Greg"

She wasn't used to having Greg in her home, it was like having a teenager all over again but it was strangely comforting for them both. He shot her a huge beaming smile and fished the shoe from its impossible angle under the sofa. Tucking the ice cream under his arms he ran after Catherine.

"What on earth are you bringing that for?"

"I might get hungry; we could be there a while"

Catherine didn't feel like arguing with him, she locked the door behind them and started the drive to the hospital, happy for Greg to scoff his ice cream and beat out drum beats on the dashboard the entire journey. It was a welcome distraction if she was honest; she was seriously failing at pretending she wasn't too worried about her friends. The medical team in Peru had warned her of the risks of transferring them but she knew that they would all be much happier back in their own country, not to mention the fact that the medical care they would receive here was far superior. There was still a niggling doubt in her mind over whether she had done the right thing.

They pulled up to the hospital a short time later and marched towards the entrance full of determination and purpose. Greg loitered behind her as she stood at the reception tapping her long nails on the counter as she looked around for a member of staff. A young woman somehow materialised out of nowhere making her jump and Greg grin.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm here to see my sister, Sara Sidle. She was transferred here today"

The young woman tapped away on her computer furiously stealing glances at Greg through her eyelashes as she did so. Greg leaned on the counter smiling at her until Catherine 'accidentally' knocked his arm sending him stumbling from the side dramatically as she stifled a laugh. The young woman didn't seem to appreciate her sense of humour. She tutted and rolled her eyes and stopped typing.

"Where did you say your daughter transferred from?"

"Umm Peru she transferred from Peru this morning"

Greg straightened himself up with a glare in her direction as the young woman smiled.

"I thought you said she was you're sister?"

Catherine panicked for a second, realising she had been caught out.

"Well I mean she is like a daughter to me, my little sister Sara. You know how little sisters can be"

The woman didn't seem convinced; she eyed Catherine suspiciously until Greg leaned over and whispered something in her ear. All of a sudden she was very helpful and passed Catherine a slip of paper with Sara's room number on it.

Catherine was curious; it was usually her using her people skills to get them what they wanted. Not Greg. Never Greg. As they headed into the elevator she eyed him from the corner of her eye. A part of her wanted to ask but she didn't want to gratify his smug smile with her curiosity. In the end, as always, her insatiable need for gossip won out.

"What did you say to her?"

Greg winked "a gentleman never tells"

Catherine wasn't sure whether she was more proud of him or annoyed with him but she decided to smile after him anyway as he took off in the direction of the wards with a ridiculously over-exaggerated swagger.

He stopped dead when he came to the room though. A look of sheer horror crossing over his face and every bit of colour drained right down to his toes. Catherine's heart raced as she caught up to him, gazing in through the thick pane of glass into a small sterile little room. The nurses pulled a curtain over before she could get a good look but there was no mistaking Sara laying there on the bed. Her skin a pale chalky white, wires and tubes branching out from her arms, chest, stomach and throat. A red stain was beginning to seep through the blankets between her legs, fanning out around her knee's looking angry and unwelcoming. Everyone knew it was bad news. The medical team in Peru was right; it had been too soon to move her.

A horrible feeling cast over her soul as she waited for the curtains to open. Neither she nor Greg uttered a single word as they stared, unblinking, through the glass with baited breath. She had to be ok, they had come so far. Catherine found herself chanting it over and over in her head, willing Sara and her baby to hold on. Apparently her inner chant had somehow found its way to her mouth because Greg was by her side with a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She was sure she couldn't deal with the guilt if anything happened to either of them, she could never look Grissom in the eye again.

Grissom.

Where was Grissom? He was supposed to be at the same hospital and his condition was nowhere near as serious as Sara's, why wasn't he here, by her side, clutching her hand like she had imagined?

"Grissom should be here, he should be with her. I better go find him"

She started to walk away in a daze when an alarm sounded out in the corridor and the orange light above Sara's door flashed like a siren. It rooted her to the spot as she stared after the army of nurses and doctors who ran into the room. Greg paused for a moment, staring into the gaping doorway before he turned on his heel and marched off down the corridor.

"We better find Grissom, quickly"

He held the door open and ushered her through but she was dazed and confused and guilt was weighing down on her like a heavy burden. She moved through the corridors without really noticing where she was going, Greg chatted to the secretary. It was probably just as well he did, she didn't think she could convince her she was Grissom's sister too. Greg announced that Gil Grissom was his father and demanded to see him then panicked when he realised he had no idea of his date of birth. Catherine reeled it off as though it was her own.

The ease at which she recalled the information surprised her, she marvelled at how they had maintained such a good relationship over the many, many years they had known each other. She realised that they had seriously downplayed Sara's condition. The poor girl was in bad shape and her husband was nowhere to be seen. As Greg approached her with that ashen expression on his face again she realised that maybe the reason for that was that they had seriously downplayed his condition too.


	37. Chapter 37

**ok so I have 3 chapters for this ready to go, I couldn't decide which to publish and they are all intertwined so I have decided to publish them all in quick succession so the quicker you review, the quicker I will update! hope you enjoy! xx**

**Also big thank you to Otie1983 for your neverending entertainment and song inspiration. And to DearSweetPapercut who won't read this but helped me out with her limitless Greg Sanders knowledge. Greg will sing _The Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Love Rollercoaster_, _Hawksley Workman -Your Naked Body_ and _Def Leppard - Pour some Sugar on me._ **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

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><p>Greg loitered around the corridor waiting for the doctors and nurses to leave Sara's room. Catherine had gone off in search of Grissom, giving him strict instructions not to leave Sara's side. Doctors and nurses passed him with nothing but a sideways glance as he paced up and down. Nervous fathers and happy grandparents strolled up and down the corridors. He even saw one heavily pregnant woman whisked off to the delivery room, screaming and shouting the entire way.<p>

Eventually the medical team left the room and he was allowed to go through. The very thought of it terrified him. His footsteps seemed to reverberate off the walls as he cautiously entered her room.

He didn't like seeing Sara like this. Vulnerable, broken and fragile, he preferred strong, feisty, sarcastic Sara who he laughed with every day. The room was silent aside from the gentle hum of the machine beside her; it traced lines on a rolling piece of paper. It reminded him of the amp counter on his stereo. He sat down on the chair beside her nervously.

He was already bored.

He gazed around the room restlessly, he slipped his shoes on and off his feet, he picked his nails, and he checked inside her bedside locker and was disappointed that it was empty apart from a cardboard sick bowl and some towels. He watched out the window as people filtered by. On their way to meet new babies and happy mothers.

It reminded him of Sara's news. He couldn't picture her with a bump.

He rested his chin on the side of the bed beside her belly, staring at the skin rising and falling as she breathed gently. He studied it intently watching for any sign of life, any alien like movements under her skin.

"You in there baby?"

He held his breath for as long as he could as he waiting for a movement or a sign from the baby but he got nothing. Letting his breath out he slouched back in the chair and rested his feet on the corner of her bed. He was suddenly very restless, drumming a beat on the arm of his chair and moving his head.

"Rollercoaster of looooove, rollercoaster. Yeah, yeah yeah. My love is like a rollercoaster baby, baby, I wanna ride"

He felt like he jumped a mile when a doctor came into the room and held her hand out for him with a smile. Embarrassed he sat upright and shook her hand, watching as she read the machine and scribbled in her notes.

"She's ok?"

"She's stable; we've sedated her for now. She's unconscious but studies suggest she can still hear you"

Greg looked at his friend. Her pale skin only intensified by the bright lights, her eyes closed tight, her mouth slightly open. He wondered exactly what she would be thinking in her medically induced sleep. Especially if she could hear him with his singing and talking to her belly. The doctor retreated out of the room with a soft smile and he was alone again. A sly smile broke out over his face as he looked around and moved his face close to Sara's.

"Saaaaarrrrrrraaaa…. The doctor says you can hear me"

When she didn't respond he was visibly disappointed. He sat back down on the chair with a sigh and returned to drumming his feet on the shiny linoleum.

"Bet your dreaming about me you aren't you?"

He leaned over examining her face for a flicker of a smile but there was no reaction.

"I bet we're on a beach… the sun is shining. The birds are singing. We're all alone…."

He sat back in his chair, clasping his hands behind his head and humming.

"your naked body on the beach, seagulls bring you soft ice cream" he paused to glance around the room again "your naked body on the beach, it's just nice to see, it's just nice to be here where the land meets the sea" he half sung and half spoke.

He seemed to have a lot of pent up energy today. He blamed the secretary at the front door for flirting with him. Would Catherine even know if he just popped down there for a fraction of a second? He looked back at Sara, so still and lifeless and decided he couldn't do that to her. There had to be some amusement to be found in the room.

"Your room is really boring Sara, I think I need to bring you some stuff to brighten it up. I see a big screen TV, games console, some scantily clad women…"

He played with the tools hanging beside the headboard. The ophthalmoscope was fun for a few moments as he absentmindedly shone it into his own mouth, through his fingers and in Sara's ear. He chuckled as he thought about it, she would have positively bit his head off if she knew he was doing that to her while she slept. He rooted around in the locker again, pulling out a sick bowl and a face mask.

"I remember Grissom caught me doing this once. Only it was with a rubber glove… my hair's never been the same"

He drew some eyes on the sick bowl and put it on his head and drew a mouth on the mask and placed it over his mouth with a smile. He could create entertainment anywhere. His pen was now a drumstick and he hit it against Sara's bed as he belted out his own version of Def Leppard's 'pour some sugar on me'

"You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little, Tease a little more"

Of course that was the very moment that Catherine would choose to come into the room. If looks could kill he was sure he would be a puddle of mush on the floor. He pulled the mask from his face sheepishly.

"Greg. If you can't just sit with her like a normal person I can find someone else…"

He looked over at Sara, still unmoving and unresponsive in her dream world. If she was conscious she would be defending him, she would be laughing at him and shaking her head with that half smile the way she always did.

"She likes it"

"Greg you're insane, she's unconscious. She doesn't like anything. I'm going to get lunch, are you coming?"

He looked over at Sara one more time before bounding after Catherine as she marched off down the corridor without waiting for an answer. He almost slid out of Sara's room and looked after the retreating figure of Catherine as she called behind her.

"Leave the sick bowl there Greg…"


	38. Chapter 38

Somehow she had gone from basking in the sun to waking up in her own bed. Not even her current bed either, this bed was from a long time ago. In a tiny studio apartment with deep purple walls and arty black and white prints on the wall. She wondered for a second what happened to those prints. Somewhere along the road they had been misplaced or discarded.

She had a strange sense of detachment; she could feel movement around her. Like people were touching her and talking and moving around right beside her yet she couldn't see them. They were part of a different reality that she had no grasp on at all.

Her logical mind told her she could solve this puzzle, she could figure out why her subconscious had taken her back to this apartment, there had to be something to be gained from this latest hallucination. She sat up from her soft bed, the thick satin comforter slipping from her legs and onto the floor. She had almost forgotten how it felt to be in her own space. Everything surrounding her belonged to her, those prints were picked out specifically for this room on her last day in San Francisco. The embroidered pillows scattered over the bed and sofa were all from a different time in her life, they all had a different significance and they had all been passed to goodwill when she moved in with Grissom.

She padded through to the kitchen, marvelling at her long forgotten ability to wander through the house in just her panties and a vest. It humoured her to realise how much she had grown up and changed over the years. She was no longer a lonely, insecure young woman with a heart full of unrequited love for a man she could never have. No, now she was a lonely, insecure, rapidly approaching middle age woman carrying the child of her former boss who lived in a different continent.

"_Are you in there baby?"_

Greg's words shot through her little sanctuary like a bolt of lightning. It was very surreal hearing his voice while detached from the world like that. It echoed through her little apartment like the voice of God and she was reminded that this place where she stood was a mere fantasy, a creation by her poor battered brain in an effort to recover and repair after the terrible few days it had had. Had it even been a few days? It could have been weeks, months even. How would she know? She did know she was back home, back in Las Vegas. She could feel it all around her, the electricity in the air and the smell, that distinctive Vegas smell assaulted her senses. it did bring her comfort to hear Greg's voice although she would have much preferred hearing Grissom's soothing tones.

"_Rollercoaster of looooovve"_

She laughed out loud at his choice of song; he could always make her laugh, even in her fragile mental state. In a completely separate reality he was still making her laugh. She looked at the photographs pinned to the fridge with magnets. Memories that she had clung to in her darkest days when the fridge had been full of beer and her home had been as empty as it was now.

She wandered back to the overstuffed leather sofa. The thick mustard coloured curtains flapping in the breeze as she flopped down with a sigh. This was a silly hallucination, it didn't teach her anything, didn't provoke any emotions; it had no significance on her life at all whatsoever.

"_Saaaaarrrrrrraaaa…. The doctor says you can hear me"_

She really wished she could roll her eyes at him and tell him to stop playing the fool. She was glad of his company, even if she couldn't tell him. She was sure it would be short lived of course it was only a matter of time before he started irritating her again.

"_Bet your dreaming about me you aren't you?"_

She could just picture his wide smile as he thought up some sordid little fantasy involving her and no doubt very little, if any clothes. He would be loving her present attire that was for sure. She heaved herself from the sofa and wandered to the overstuffed bookcase. That was one thing that remained a constant in her life. Each and every one of these books still graced her bookcase at home. The well leafed copies of literary classics perched beside textbooks and journals and Grissom's eclectic collection of entomology books and poetry. A huge boo lay open at her tiny desk; it was one that she recognised. One that had a particular significance to her and one that she often turned to when she was lonely. Not because of the content, while reading about hissing cockroaches and rare butterflies was interesting the passage inside the front cover held much more interest for her. Grissom had gifted her this book many years ago, he had penned the most beautiful passage inside. She had clung to that when their relationship had struggled, clung to the sentiment involved in sending her a gift at all and whenever she felt lonely or unloved, even to this day, she would open that book to the front page and read his heartfelt words. Now of course it was a little faded, a little old and dusty and every letter he had sent her from vacation postcards to breath-taking love letters were pressed lovingly into that cover.

"_I bet we're on a beach… the sun is shining. The birds are singing. We're all alone…."_

He broke out in song again, beating a rhythm on the side of her bed and no doubt bobbing his head about like a bobble head doll. For a moment she was on a beach beside him, the sun beating onto her skin and the waves lapping at her feet. she could quite easily just stay there. She could sink back on the soft sand and listen to the soft music and the birdsong. Deep within her there was a need to be back in her dark, empty apartment eventually the pull became too strong. She didn't like the eerie quiet of her old home; it reminded her of her loneliness. The hollow ache deep inside her soul that longed for Grissom to burst through the door and gather her into his arms. This had nothing to do with the apartment of course, she felt the same hollow ache in her present home that she did standing here in her old one.

"_Your room is really boring Sara, I think I need to bring you some stuff to brighten it up. I see a big screen TV, games console, some scantily clad women…"_

Her peace was shattered suddenly by a knock at the door. She was back in her old apartment and this hallucination was about to get interesting. She looked through the viewfinder to see Grissom's smiling face looking back at her and her heart skipped a beat. He could still do that to her every time she looked at him, every time she met those beautiful blue eyes she was reminded of where she belonged. She hastily opened the door about to fall into his arms and tell her conscious mind to just let her stay there with him.

"_You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little, Tease a little more"_

She made a mental note to kill Greg when she finally woke up for tormenting her dreams with his incessant singing. Only Grissom wasn't there when she opened the door, nothing was. She was greeted by a dark empty corridor a wicker basket at her feet and a growing sense of dread as she bent to her knee's to investigate its contents. She knew what was coming, her subconscious wasn't that much of a mystery to her and she unfolded the soft white fabric carefully to be greeted by those same blue eyes she had fallen in love with. She found herself falling in love all over again, just like that. Without a second of thought she hoisted the basket onto her hip and brought it inside.

"_Greg. If you can't just sit with her like a normal person I can find someone else…"_

Catherine was there, the voice of reason to calm Greg down and anchor him to reality. If he sang any more Def Leppard to her she had made a silent promise that the first thing she did when she was conscious again was to confiscate his music collection.

When she carefully placed the basket on the foot of her bed she wasn't surprised to find it empty. She understood that this latest hallucination, dream, insanity was there to teach her a lesson, to show her what she really wanted deep down, under all the fear and sorrow she was feeling. Deep down she wanted her baby more than anything but admitting that left her open to a whole new level of vulnerability. If she admitted how much this baby meant to her how could she cope if she lost it? She longed to hold her beautiful baby in her arms. It didn't symbolise horror and control to her anymore. That baby symbolised the future. They were creating a family, that was special and magical and completely terrifying but it was also a wonderful adventure she didn't think she'd ever experience. The empty basket stared at her, a hollow reminder of what could be, as she moved her hands slowly to her stomach. Even in her unconscious state her abdomen was hard and beginning to swell.

She looked down at her tiny bump, her hand rubbing it gently when her husband's hand grasped hers and gently cradled it in his. His body was pressed against her, his breath on her neck as she positively melted into his arms. This is what fantasies should be like, if she had to spend her time in an alternate reality it may as well be this one. She couldn't think of anything better.

If reality was anything like this it was worth waking up for.


	39. Chapter 39

He woke to the sound of gentle breathing by his side and the feeling of someone clasping his hand. He thought for a beautiful moment it was Sara, that maybe it had all been a terrible dream and he would simply wake up with his wife by his side. No temple in the side of a mountain, no cave in's or mercy missions, no crazy little nurses chattering constantly. His senses were invaded with a strong perfume, one that he knew couldn't be attributed to his wife and he was suddenly aware that he was in a hospital. Even without opening his eyes he could hear the beeps, the intercom announcer with her nasally voice calling out for Doctors and nurses, the scratchy sheets and the sterile smell.

"Sara?"

His voice was weak and tired. He realised his throat was terribly dry but a hand behind his head and a glass pressed to his lips fixed that. He slowly opened his eyes, not to be met by the deep dark chocolate of his wife's eyes but the wide sparkling eyes of Catherine. Her worried expression betrayed her reassuring smile as she carefully sat back down in the chair beside him.

"Greg's with her, try not to worry"

He had forgotten they were back in Vegas, his mind preoccupied with making sure Sara and the baby were ok. He tried to sit up in the bed and realised he was hooked up to a machine. Wires poking out all over his chest. He didn't have time for this; he had to be the strong one right now.

"I need to see her"

Catherine pushed him back on the bed gently and gestured to the machine.

"You need to learn to take it easy. You can't go and see her in this state"

He couldn't quite piece together what had happened to him. The last thing he remembered was Sara getting ushered away from him into a hospital and a paramedic telling him he couldn't follow. They took her away from him and she was sick.

"They took her away, where is she?"

He could feel his chest tightening again. It was as though someone had a firm grip around his heart and they were squeezing, really hard. His breathing became laboured and the machine beside him started beeping furiously. Catherine stood and ran out into the corridor in a panic. She had never seen Grissom get himself in such a state before. He gasped for breath and squeezed his eyes shut, his hand clutching at his chest.

Two nurses entered the room and pulled an oxygen mask over his face, injecting something into the port in his arm that quickly relaxed him and brought his breathing back to normal. His chest heaved from his position in the bed as Catherine took the chair beside him again. Taking his hand in hers.

"They're going to keep sedating you until you calm down. You can't go and see Sara if you have a panic attack every time you think about her"

His hand pulled the mask from his face and frowned at her.

"I don't have panic attacks" he wheezed.

Catherine threw her head back and laughed. While a part of him was relieved that his heart wasn't giving up on him another part was furious that he was suffering from something as illogical as a panic attack.

"Well apparently you do, would you prefer a heart attack?"

He slipped the irritating oxygen mask over his head and discarded it over the side of the bed. His eyes fell onto the red attention button by his hand, if Catherine wasn't going to tell him about Sara he would find someone who would. He pushed the button and held his finger over it until a nurse ran into the room.

"Can I help you Mr Grissom?"

Catherine shot him an irritated look and shook her head as he smiled at the young woman.

"I really need you to make a call and find out the condition of my wife, Sara Sidle"

The nurse looked like she had just been told to find out how to turn lead into gold. Her eyes flickered between Grissom and Catherine quickly until Catherine gave her a gentle smile and nodded. She ran out of the room quickly.

"You know I would have told you eventually"

"Would you have told me the truth?"

"Have I ever lied to you Grissom? Greg is with her, he promised to call if there was any news"

"Well I should be with her"

The nurse came back into the room with a worried expression on her face.

"They won't tell me how she is but said that her consultant would come up to speak with you"

She nodded nervously as she retreated back out of the room and Grissom and Catherine exchanged a look. He didn't hide the fact that he was extremely worried about her, he steadied his breathing carefully. The last thing he needed right now was another panic attack. They would never let him near her if he kept passing out every time he thought about it.

"I'm sure that's normal Gil, she'll be fine"

Grissom wasn't convinced. Sara's body had taken such a beating and she wasn't known for taking the best care of herself anyway.

"She's pregnant Catherine, Pregnant. And she didn't know. Or at least I think she didn't know"

Catherine nodded her head and rubbed his arm reassuringly. She had gotten over the initial shock of learning of Sara's pregnancy. She had to say she had her suspicions over the past few weeks. Grissom's eyes stung with tears, his body was worn down and exhausted and his mind was no better.

"What if she loses the baby Catherine? What would I say to her?"

She took his hand in hers and waited until he looked at her.

"Baby Grissom won't give up that easy. That baby has two of the strongest, most determined, downright stubborn people I know as parents. Everything will be fine"

Grissom nodded and attempted to silently thank her for her words. Vocalising his thoughts was proving to be difficult right now. Things were getting on top of him again; he could feel his head pounding and that familiar dull ache behind his eyes. He closed them to try and block out the pain, to get rid of the unfriendly lighting and the constant movement behind the large glass window of his room.

"Mr Grissom? Hi there, my name is Dr Harvey. I've been working on your wife"

His eyes shot open and regarded the woman in front of him. She had kind; calming eyes and wisps of dark tightly curled hair framed her face. She took the chair on the opposite side from Catherine and clasped her hands together.

"As you know Sara's condition is quite serious. We had to give her another transfusion and she is stable for the time being. If her blood pressure continues to stabilise we can bring her out of sedation in 48hours."

48 hours seemed like a lifetime right now.

"The baby?"

The doctor's eyes focused on her hands and Catherine sat upright in her chair. Their body language training was both a blessing and a curse. They knew they were about to get bad news.

"We are concerned that the baby may have been deprived of oxygen for a short time. The heartbeat and movements are normal but there may be some damage to the brain"

Grissom looked at Catherine with heartbreak in his eyes, he couldn't form words, he simply shook his head. He just wanted them both to live; they could deal with any eventuality as long as they both lived.

"How will you tell?" Catherine asked, clutching Grissom's hand a little tighter.

"We have to wait until the birth and very possibly any difficulties won't make themselves known for some time. Walking and talking for example"

Catherine nodded her understanding as the Doctor stood to leave the room. She paused at the doorway, looking at Grissom sadly.

"If she has another bleed we will have to deliver"

Grissom looked at the doctor for a long moment. He knew what that meant. He tried to stop the words forming on his lips. He didn't want to say them out loud. He didn't want to vocalise what he was thinking but he did.

"The baby won't make it"

Dr Harvey moved across the room quickly. She took his spare hand into hers and she looked at him as she perched on the side of the bed.

"If she has another bleed there's every chance neither of them will but we are doing _everything_ we can to stop that happening."

An unhappy silence settled over the room. The doctor squeezed Grissom's hand and approached the door again. They didn't acknowledge her departure, they were both lost in their own thoughts. Pondering the fate of Sara and her baby when the doctor stopped and turned to them a final time.

"We won't give up on them, I promise."

Grissom simply nodded, he really hoped she was telling the truth, he pictured himself holding his wife in his arms, cradling her growing baby bump with his hands. and for the first time in many, many years Grissom closed his eyes and uttered a silent prayer for the protection of his family.

It certainly sounded like they needed it.


	40. Chapter 40

**Ok a quick Nicky update, we can't have the poor boy traipsing all over the world after them and then just disappear now can we? back to good ol' Sara and Grissom chapters next I promise. xxx**

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><p>Nick resented being sent to hospital against his will, there was really no need, and his injuries were relatively minor. He tried to reason with the ambulance driver. He hoped he could at least convince him to follow his friends but it was no use. This guy was determined he was taking Nick to Desert Palm and no amount of coaxing, arguing or bribery would work.<p>

Nick was useless here; at least if he was in the same hospital as Sara and Grissom he could be making calls and checking in on them. He was really worried about Sara. While Grissom had all his attention on his poorly wife during their flight he had been eavesdropping on the paramedics. Their concerned faces and urgent tones did nothing to reassure him. They had been separated almost the second they arrived, Sara was whisked away and blue lighted into the city, no-one would tell him a thing.

The one benefit he could see in being sent to the hospital was the abundance of young, pretty nurses. Greg would have a field day here. A pretty young woman came into the room with a tall machine on wheels.

"Hi, my name is Rachel. I'm your keyworker while you're here"

She had loose dark curls and striking green eyes. She gave him a shy smile as she tightened the blood pressure cuff around his arm.

"You look like you took a bit of a beating Mr Stokes"

It was addressed as more of a question than a statement.

"Please, call me Nick. I was caught in a cave in in Peru actually."

He could see she was confused by his statement. It was obviously unusual for an accident victim in Peru to be transferred all the way to Vegas for treatment.

"I live here in Vegas, I work for the LVPD"

"And they flew you home?"

"No, my uh, my boss funded it herself"

She continued to scribble on her clipboard and press buttons on the machine as she spoke. He watched her intently as she moved.

"That's a good boss you got there. I'm lucky if mine will stretch to a cup of coffee"

She placed the clipboard on the bed and took his hand into hers. Carefully she peeled back the bandages but he kept his eyes on her. If his little stint in Peru had taught him anything it was that life was short. It could change in an instant, without warning. Her hands were soft and gentle as she carefully ran her fingers over the cuts and gouges covering his hands.

"How did you do this?"

"I was digging my friend out of the rubble. She… she's been taken to another hospital"

She nodded slightly and returned to her clipboard with a shy smile as she noted his injured.

"Girlfriend huh?" she questioned as she took his other hand and began to unravel more bandages. "You're a hero then?"

"I wouldn't say that!" he laughed "anyone would do the same, and she's just a friend"

She carefully turned his hand over in hers before resting it on his leg and kneeling before him and cutting the bandages on his leg. He was staring at her, he was aware he was doing it, aware he was making her uncomfortable but he couldn't stop. She didn't help matters by meeting his eye every so often with a flirty smile.

"Ok your injuries don't look too serious; I'll re-dress them and get you some pain meds. How's your head?"

Without warning she was standing directly in front of him, between his legs with her hands running through his hair. She was standing so close he had to hold his breath to control himself. Not before he inhaled the sweet smell of her skin, like strawberries and cream. She was making every effort not to meet his eye and he was making every effort to behave like a gentleman instead of grabbing her right there and kissing her on those full pink lips only a few inches from his.

"It's a little fuzzy"

She shone her little light into his eyes pausing, momentarily captured in his gaze when a roly-poly nurse came into the room like a hurricane with a deadly scowl.

"Dr Price, you're needed in resus ASAP"

"Thank you Tanya, will you re-dress Mr Stokes wounds please? I'll be back later"

Then she disappeared, nervously tucking her hair behind her ear and smiling slightly in his direction. He sat back on the bed with a satisfied sigh. Tanya was already dressing his leg, her hands weren't as smooth and gentle as Rachel's and she certainly didn't look at him the same way. She positively glared at him when he dared make eye contact. When she was finished dressing his hands she instructed him to rest in his bed. Another benefit of Desert Palm hospital was the technology. Every bed was fitted with its own overhead entertainment system. TV, radio and a telephone. The discovery channel was to be his friend for the next couple of hours until the mysterious Dr Price returned with her hair pulled back in a messy ponytail.

"So…its _**DR**_ Price, is it?"

She smiled "yep"

"You look too young to go by that name" he teased.

"Well I'm sorry to disappoint you but I've done my time" she checked his chart quickly, signing off on his observations as she went.

"Why didn't you tell me you were a doctor?"

"I figured that being your keyworker it was pretty obvious"

He continued to grin at her as she pressed her stethoscope against his chest, he could see she was trying to stifle a smile and avoid his eye contact. Yet another benefit of Desert Palm – attractive female doctors.

"So Dr Rachel, what's your diagnosis?"

"I'm not here to diagnose you, I'm here to treat you" she smiled "and I think you're just fine. We'll keep you here tonight for observation and you can go home tomorrow"

"You mean I don't get a bed bath?"

"Not from me but if you like I can ask Tanya to swing by. I'm going home"

His images of a rather sexy Dr Rachel sponging him were replaced by frighteningly aggressive nurse Tanya and he felt a shudder run up his spine.

"I think I'll pass on Tanya, thanks"

She perched lightly on the edge of his bed and scribbled something in her clipboard before hooking it back onto the end of the bed.

He decided to seize the day. "You could always give me your number though, you know in case I get queasy on the way home"

She smiled at him and he really thought for a moment she was going to pass him her card when Tanya appeared at the door again. She shot Nick a scowl before painting on her best smile for Rachel.

"Dr Price, Dr Collins has called off sick. You're running shift again"

"Again?" Tanya disappeared with a nod "damn it Brendan" she must have felt his gaze on her because she looked up and shrugged. "Sorry, my third double this week, I've barely been home"

"This Brendan guy really sick?"

"Dr Collins… he's having some personal issues" she rolled her eyes suggesting she wasn't convinced his personal issues were genuine.

"The joys of our profession's huh?"

"Guess so, looks like you're stuck with me"

He didn't attempt to disguise his joy at the prospect of having her around for the entire night. He intended to be a very needy patient, at least until he got her number.

"That's ok, I didn't like Brendan anyway"


	41. Chapter 41

Grissom had finally managed to convince the doctors to discharge him. His heart was given a clean bill of health, his surgical scars healing well and the dizziness had passed. They were still reluctant to let him out, they didn't need him having another 'episode' in Obstetrics, and he had been signed out with a heady warning. He was not, under any circumstances, to visit obstetrics unsupervised and he had a persistent Catherine on his back like a particularly hard to shake rash.

His first stop was, of course, Sara's room. Despite the warnings and the chirping of Catherine in his ear he had to see her. He really had to breathe deeply as he approached. A very real sense of dread and heartache was welling up inside him. Greg stepped out of the room before he arrived. He had been a loyal and dedicated friend, visiting every single day without fail to sit by her bed and no doubt ramble a load of nonsense for hours on end.

"Hey Big G! Good to see you up and about at last!"

"Thanks Greg, how is she?"

"FAT! It HILARIOUS!" Grissom's raised eyebrow and unamused expression told him that wasn't quite the answer he was looking for. "Uh…. She's fine. They've started to lower her sedation"

Greg darted off down the hall, towing Catherine along behind him and Grissom finally laid eyes on his wife for the first time in 3 days.

She looked so peaceful and for a change genuinely healthy. Her cheeks were flushed pink, her expression relaxed and calm. There were signs of her trauma everywhere though. Her bruising beginning to darken over almost every visible part of her skin. The huge cast on her leg was kept elevated, the machines beeped and scratched, it had been annoying when it was hooked up to him but listening to the rhythmic sounds coming from them was reassuring. As long as they kept beeping Sara was ok.

He slowly cleared the space between himself and the bed and took the chair by her side, gently gathering her hand in his and stroking his thumb over her palm. He studied her carefully, hopeful that his contact would somehow breach her unconsciousness and illicit a reaction. Her eyelids didn't even flicker, she remained as still and quiet as when he watched from the door.

"She should start to come round soon, slowly. She'll be very drowsy"

Dr Harvey made him jump, he had been so consumed in studying his wife for signs of life that he didn't hear her come in. she smiled at him, a soft sympathetic smile as she noted Sara's stats from the machines.

"She'll be ok? They'll both be ok?"

She glanced up from her clipboard and regarded him with steady analysis.

"So far so good. We'll know more when she wakes up. It could be a day or two."

He was reassured by her words. He watched her chest rise and fall slowly with every breath, suddenly hit by a wave of guilt. He did this to her, he caused her this pain and suffering by acting selfishly. He should have never let her go, not when he had barely held onto her to start with.

He pressed his hand onto her bump. It fascinated him, there was a life growing in there. Her stomach had grown round and hard almost overnight. It was hard to visualise a person, a real life human person swimming around in there. His child's fragile grip on life was growing stronger by the day he just hoped that Sara's was too.

The longer he sat there the more the silence surrounded him. He just wanted to speak to her, to tell her he loved her and he would look after her but it was pointless. He would have been better talking to the wall. Catherine's heels clicked their way along the corridor filled with purpose. He could read her fast strides and picture Greg shuffling along behind her.

"Come on, I'm taking you home"

"No, I'm staying here Catherine. She could wake up"

She raised an eyebrow as she took in the sight of Sara sleeping soundly.

"I won't take no for an answer Gil. Home, shower, change of clothes, something to eat and I'll bring you straight back. I promise. I have to go pick up Nicky anyway"

He made no effort to move from his chair, he was utterly terrified that she might wake up and find he wasn't there. He couldn't be sure she would remember their conversation; she could wake up with no recollection of the past few days at all.

"Greg will stay with her until you get back. Come on. She won't wake up. Promise."

Reluctantly he heaved himself from the chair and placed a soft kiss on his sleeping wife's forehead. He hovered over her, his face close to hers studying her, willing her to show him she was aware.

When he got nothing he decided Catherine was right. He needed a warm shower and clean clothes; he would bring something from home for Sara too. She would like that, it might help her to relax and recover. It might even wake her up.

It felt strange being in their condo again. It had been a long time since he had stepped through those doors, the sweet scent of home filling his nose in an instant. He hadn't realised just how much he missed it. He missed the overstuffed sofa and the wall filled with bookcases. He missed his experiments and insects, his butterfly frames, his comfortable slippers and his gloriously soft bed. More than anything he missed just being home, just sitting around doing nothing with his wife.

He showered as though in a trance, going through the motions of getting clean without really caring whether he was or not. Catherine had left him to take Nick home. He was glad to hear that Nick was doing well, he had put his life on the line for them and he would be forever grateful. He padded around their bedroom trying to fathom which of Sara's lotions and potions would be the most useful to her. He settled on a strawberry scented moisturiser, he loved it when she wore it; it left behind a beautiful smell wherever she went. Her dry hands could do with a little TLC anyway.

He gathered up a few more of her things and added a book from the many bookshelves to the bag before stepping outside to wait for Catherine. She pulled up a short time later and handed him a sandwich with a smile.

"I knew you wouldn't eat Gil, I know you too well"

As much as Cath got on his nerves at times she always looked out for him. Even when he didn't want her to.

"How's Nicky?" he asked as they headed towards the hospital.

"Oh he must be fine; he wouldn't leave until this cute doctor gave him her number!"

Grissom smiled and nodded, flirting was a sure sign Nicky was feeling better. He finished his sandwich before they pulled up to the hospital and Catherine smiled at him before he left.

"She'll be fine you know, they both will" She reached out and squeezed his hand kindly in an effort to reassure him. "Send Greg out here will you? We've got a shift to get to"

Grissom was beginning to realise just how lucky he was to have such loyal and compassionate friends. Even after all these years they were willing to go without sleep, food, a social life just to be there supporting them. They truly were like a family.

"Thanks Catherine, I'll keep you posted"

Stepping through the hospital corridors he realised he was holding his breath, it looked as though everyone was moving in slow motion, fading to a blur as they moved past him. Hurrying on their way to see their loved ones, happy to be announcing the arrival of a new life, nervous smiles exchanged with other expectant fathers as they wondered whether today might hold the birth of their child or another agonising wait for news.

Greg was doodling on a sick bowl when he arrived and talking to Sara non-stop about what he was doing. He wondered if Sara could hear him and if she could what she would be thinking. Greg had been there by her side for days and although he had sat by her side and clutched her hand he was yet to utter a word to her in her unconscious state.

"Catherine's waiting for you outside Greg. Thanks for staying with her"

Greg jumped up from his chair with a beaming smile. "Anytime" he turned to Sara "see you later Sara, it's been a blast"

With Greg out of the picture, Grissom arranged some of her things on the locker by her side and settled back in the chair. It should really be easy to talk to her when she was like this. There was minimal chance that he could accidentally upset her, she wouldn't be able to argue back and roll her eyes at him. In fact this should be the perfect time to express everything he found difficult to say to conscious Sara. They had been married for a long time, they had known each other what felt like a lifetime but she could still render him speechless with a single look. He still found it difficult to find the right words to say what he meant. There wasn't a single word in human language that could fully express how he felt.

He rummaged in his bag with a sigh, if he couldn't think of anything to say he would read. She loved it when he read to her; he didn't do it often enough anymore. So many times she would curl up beside him and fall asleep as he read to her; so many times he would gently stroke her hair and carry her to their bed. She struggled to sleep at the best of times but she always slept when they were together, when he held her in his arms. how many times over the past couple of months had she been on Skype in the dead of night asking him to read to her because she couldn't sleep, just begging him to talk to her so she could pretend for a moment that they were together. That should have been a warning sign for him that she was lonely, it should have struck a chord with him and made him realise that she needed him but he was so busy. Always so busy.

"I brought you a book Sara; I know how you like it when I read to you."

He waited and watched her. He wasn't sure what he was watching for really a sign of life, a tiny hint of consciousness and awareness from her but as always she remained still and sleeping.

He opened the book to the first page and took a deep breath.

"Pride and Prejudice, Sara. One of the greatest love stories ever told -

'It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife….."

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><p><strong>I just want to wish you all a Very Merry and Magical Christmas, I'll try to update before the new year but can't make any promises. 3 little ones are hard work you know! Thank you everyone for you support, encouragement and friendship. I cherish each and every one of you more than you'll ever know xxxxx<strong>

**Special mention to my lovely regular reviewers -_ Calicsifan07, TessTrueHeart, stLouiegal, SumikoRyu, Otie1983, csijenniferlynn, RosePetal7, Mma63, NANCY1, NickyStokes and Was Spratlurid Quimby _- love you all, glad I can count on your reviews with every chapter you really are the best! **

_*** * * * * MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ME TO YOU! * * * * ***_


	42. Chapter 42

"_Her sister had not the smallest objection, and the pianoforte was opened; and Darcy, after a few moments' recollection, was not sorry for it. He began to feel the danger of paying Elizabeth too much attention"_ Grissom closed the book with a heavy sigh.

She could hear it all, his words, the rustling of the pages, his gentle breathing as he sat beside her day after day. She could feel it too, she could feel him clutching her hand, and she could feel his lips pressing on her forehead when he left her to make a call or go for a coffee. she could feel his hand brushing her swollen stomach.

She could feel something else too, while she was paralysed, trapped inside her unconscious mind there was a part of her that was capable of independent movement. Her baby had been gradually getting more active over the past weeks. Before she knew what it was she had assumed indigestion or the niggling reminder of pre-menstrual cramps. Now she was certain she could feel movements, she was almost able to distinguish the position of the baby by the frequency of the movements.

He had read to her, without fail, every single day for over two weeks. Every day he would sit on the squeaky chair and clutch her hand. He would read the days interesting newspaper articles; he would even debate them with himself anticipating her answers. It was very endearing. He worked his way through 'pride and prejudice' her favourite book in the entire world. He spoke to her about everything, the mail that had arrived that day, the latest scientific breakthroughs, and the lab gossip.

She wished she could open her eyes and smile at him. Wished she could see those sparkling blue eyes looking back at her but her body was uncooperative although her brain had stopped conjuring up strange images and hallucinations. She was in limbo. A strange dark place between reality and fantasy.

"_I brought a new book today; I figured if you could hear me you would appreciate this"_

There was a rustling of pages as he muttered some numbers to himself. He was clearly looking for a specific page or chapter.

"_Ah here we are. Week 26"_

If she was capable she would have chuckled at his eagerness. She could just picture him perched on the chair with his glasses on the end of his nose. His brow furrowed slightly as he flicked through the pages of the book trying to locate the right one. She knew that he was likely to have already scoured the entire book, drinking in all the information and absorbing the useful parts before bringing it here to read to her. When she woke up she was sure she would be subjected to quotes and facts about pregnancy until she reached term

"_It says here you'll be feeling more movements and your belly button will pop out. You're not there yet though so don't worry. You must have good strong muscle's Sara. Although I think baby may be stronger, there is most definitely a football under your shirt."_

He chuckled to himself. She tried to picture herself with a bump and failed miserably. For some reason all she could see was a huge bloated fat version of herself with no discernible bump in sight.

"_It says here baby will be getting ready to open its eyes this week Sara. Maybe you will too. I'd really love to look into your beautiful eyes again. I keep trying to picture them but I just don't get close"_

She could picture his eyes like they were burned into her memories. He sounded so sad that her heart ached for him, he was giving up. He was losing hope and she could feel his defeat, she could feel the sorrow radiating out of him. He probably wasn't sleeping, he probably wasn't eating. It was likely he was going home only under direct instruction from the medical team. That or Catherine.

She wanted nothing more than to open her eyes for him, she willed her body to respond, begged her eyelids to flutter open. It shouldn't be a strenuous act, it should have been easy but it took all her energy away.

The bright lights of her room stung her pupils, she wasn't ready for this. It hurt and it made her head start to thump but she had to do this. She had to fight through the pain and summon up the energy to show him that she was still here, that she didn't give up. Without realising she was squeezing his hand for support.

"Sara? Can you hear me?"

Eventually the glare of the lights and the whiteness of the room wore off and she was able to open her eyes fully. He was leaning over her, pressing the call button for a team of medic's. He met her eye before he sat back down, she wasn't sure she had ever seen tears in his eyes. In all the years she had known him, all the years she had loved him she couldn't recall a single moment where she had witnessed him crying.

The medic's manhandled him out of the way to shine lights in her eyes and ask her questions she couldn't answer. The overwhelming feeling she had was one of exhaustion, ironic considering she had just woke from a sleep lasting two weeks perhaps but while she had mastered the act of keeping her eyes open she was yet to master forming speech.

Grissom clutched her hand in his again, placing a soft kiss on her palm as he watched her blink and fight to keep her eyes open. She turned her head to gaze at him; it was all she wanted to do. She just wanted to see her husband; she just wanted to look into his eyes so that his sorrow was replaced with hope, his despair replaced with love.

"This is good Dr Grissom, we'll let her rest and I think by tomorrow she will have regained full consciousness. You can have 30 minutes but then you need to go home until morning ok?"

Grissom barely acknowledged the doctor; he nodded dismissively as the team filtered out leaving the machines to do their jobs and dimming the lights to indicate visiting hours were over.

"I was so worried about you honey, thank god you're ok"

He gently moved her hand onto the swelling of her stomach. She was shocked to realise how round and hard it was. She gasped as the baby started squirming around under her touch. Grissom beamed from ear to ear to see her smiling and awestruck.

"The book says if we shine a flashlight on your bump the baby will respond"

She raised an eyebrow and cocked her famous half smile at him. Even in her weakened and exhausted state she was capable of sarcasm.

"No flashlights" she whispered weakly before her eyelids finally became too heavy to hold up anymore.


	43. Chapter 43

When he arrived at the hospital the next morning he was expecting nothing more than what he saw every morning. He expected to see her laid down on the bed, asleep peacefully with the machine by her side beeping rhythmically. Instead he was greeted by a sight that made his heart skip a beat and a smile form on his lips immediately.

Not only was she fully conscious but she was positively glowing. She smiled and laughed with the nurse by her side as she poked at her stomach. The sight almost paralyzed him; he had prepared himself for the worst. He had been prepared to never see this sight, prepared for Sara to never be able to enjoy the wonder of pregnancy.

Her eyes sought his the second she spotted him standing in the doorway. His breath seemed to catch in his throat for a second as she waved him over.

"Come and see this, it's amazing"

Suddenly regaining control of his body he cleared the space between them to offer her a soft kiss on the cheek and a questioning look. She took his hand with a smile and placed it firmly over her stomach. It frightened him, she was so forceful he felt like he was pushing down on his child, restricting its movements and distorting its safe little environment but then the reason for the pressure became evident. He could feel the baby, feel the squirming and twisting, feel the tiny kicks and prods as baby Grissom's determination to remove this hand irritating it became evident.

"This baby is going to be just like its mother, I can sense trouble already!" he smiled.

"I can't believe we're going to have a baby. That's crazy"

"The Doctor will be round shortly to take a scan but everything looks good from here" the nurse smiled as she left the room. This was probably minor to her, probably an everyday occurrence. Having a baby moving around in a womb was something people took for granted, something midwifes and doctors assumed would be nothing special. For them it was a miracle.

Sara was suddenly fidgeting in the bed, pulling herself up and adjusting her pillows and he almost pounced on her to help her. Twisting his hand under her arm and fluffing her pillows with a concerned expression on his face.

"I'm not going to break Gil, I'm ok" she teased.

He smiled softly as he sat down in the chair by the bed. The chair that had been his home for longer than he cared to remember, he was sure there would be a permanent imprint of his body carved into it for future generations. She would hate him fussing over her, if she got home anytime soon he was going to have to remember to at least try and make it subtle. He glanced at her before unfolding his newspaper and assuming his position leaning back in the chair with one leg folded over the other.

He could feel her eyes burning into him through the paper; he dipped it and peered over the top to throw her another questioning look.

"Oh don't let me disturb your alone time Dr Grissom, please continue…"

With a grin he folded up the newspaper and placed it on his lap as he regarded his rejuvenated and sarcastic wife. He had missed her sharp tongue and quick wit.

"I think you were better company when you were unconscious"

"So were you! At least you read to me when I was sleeping"

He raised an eyebrow, surprised that she had actually heard him. Studies suggested that coma patients could hear things but it was unusual for them to remember the things they heard.

"You knew about that?" he queried.

"A little. It's a little muddled up. I remember Greg… he was singing. I remember pride and prejudice. Well parts of it anyway"

He nodded and unfolded the newspaper again, ignoring her outraged gasps as a smile worked its way across his featured. He paused for a moment savoring her surprise before he spoke.

"Should I start with the headlines or head straight for the crime pages?"

He peered over the top of his paper to meet her eye, his twinkling and dancing with amusement as she tossed a grape towards him playfully. He worked his way through the newspaper, enjoying that fact that she could indulge in their traditional discussion about the day's news articles instead of him having to debate politics and celebrity lifestyles with himself. He was never as challenging as she was, he sometimes wondered if she purposefully disagreed with him purely for the debate that would ensue. She clearly enjoyed it as much as he did although it had taken the opportunity being taken from him for him to realize that. When he was in Peru on his own he didn't even read newspapers, in the middle of the jungle you couldn't stroll to the corner shop and pick up such things but when he was at home it quickly became routine.

When the newspaper was thoroughly debated he folded it up and slid it into her locker beside the bed. Sara moved over in the bed and patted the space she had vacated indicating she wanted him to sit beside her. Hesitantly he slipped off his shoes and slid in beside her grabbing the book from the shelf as he did so.

"Shall I start again or do you remember where we were?"

"I'm sure I'll be able to catch up, I could probably recite the whole thing"

So he spent the rest of the morning reading to her with her head resting on his shoulder until she drifted off to sleep. His attempts at escaping for a coffee were useless, every time he tried to squirm off the bed she would let out a sigh or a low grumble and he would panic and freeze in position. Eventually he just gave back and leaned back on the bed, absentmindedly stealing a grape from the bunch by the bed.

Kindly Doctor Harvey entered the room pulling a sonogram machine behind her. She smiled widely at the cozy little scene painted in front of her and Grissom was sure he flushed bright red from head to toe. He gently roused Sara from her sleep and she looked at him with soft sleepy eyes wondering why on earth he would want to deprive a pregnant woman from sleep until he gestured towards the doctor.

She seemed to perk up immediately and pulled herself into a fully seated position.

"Nice to finally meet you Mrs. Grissom, my name is Dr Harvey. I've been treating you here"

Sara shook her hand politely and they both watched her set up the machine. The paddle and the cold jelly made the baby jump and wriggle around and the image on the screen took a while to stabilize.

"There's baby Grissom" Dr Harvey mused as she held the paddle in place and clicked the computer attached to the screen "everything looks great"

Dr Harvey took the time to point out the baby's spine, hands and feet and the heart beating away beautifully. Finally she settled on an image of baby Grissom's profile which she kindly printed out for them as a keepsake.

"Good strong heartbeat and the right size for dates. Placenta looks ok too. All going well you will be out of here in a few days" she smiled and handed Grissom the image before leaving the room. Grissom stared at it for a long time. There it was in black and white, their baby. It was terrifying and exciting all at the same time.

"He's got your nose" he absentmindedly commented.

"He?" Sara sat bolt upright in the bed and stared at him. He wasn't sure if he read excitement or anger in her expression.

"Or she…" he quickly corrected.

She narrowed her eyes and tried to stare him out, she was trying to gauge whether he knew anything or not, he tried really hard to keep up his poker face.

"You know don't you? Her words were slow and calculated; she was studying his every move watching for clues.

"I don't know anything!" the look on her face told him she didn't believe a word he said.

"I didn't want to know…." She said sadly.

"You still don't know Sara; it was just a slip of the tongue"

She nodded and thought for a while staring at her bump as though somehow it would offer her some sort of advice about the situation.

"So you don't know?" she asked quietly.

"No"

"But it's not a girl?"

"No" foolishly he answered without thinking, biting his tongue but trying not to acknowledge it.

"Ha! Then it's a boy!" she grinned defiantly.

"Sara" he scolded "don't try and trick me into telling you"

"So you do know?"

"Yes…but you didn't want to know" he reminded her.

"No I didn't… until I knew that you knew and now I do want to know"

He met her eye as she grinned at him expectantly. Half of him wanted to keep it from her so she had the grand unveiling to look forward to. He hadn't told another soul to minimize the risk of her finding out but the look in her eyes made him falter. She had such longing, such need to find out and she had been through so much lately that he rationalized that she deserved to know.

"You sure you want to know?" she nodded furiously, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. He had to tell her, he really had no other choice.

"We're going to have a son, Sara. It's a boy"


	44. Chapter 44

The come down from the sedation was both a blessing and a curse. She was conscious for a lot more of the day, it made a refreshing change to not drop off to sleep midway through a conversation or have her limbs feel weighed down when she heaved herself to the bathroom. She was allowed to make decisions about her medication and her treatment and she could ask annoying questions of the doctors and nurses.

Of course the negative side was that her insomnia had returned, suffering from insomnia at home was hard enough but suffering from it in a hospital environment was torturous. Not only did the nurses seem to have some sort of stay in bed fetish for their patients but every beep, every shuffle, every muffled cry had her fidgeting in her bed trying to pretend she couldn't hear it.

The port in her arm had started itching too, it felt as though she could feel the thin tube snaking up through her vein and all she wanted to do was claw at it until she was free of its restraints. If it wasn't for the fact that the fluid slowly dripping into it keeping her and her baby suitably nourished she probably would have clawed it out. But hospital food left a lot to be desired and as much as she tried to allow the pasty goo that they tried to pass off as a nutritious meal pass her lips it was usually quickly followed by another sick bowl being filled with a rather more delicious looking pool of vomit.

Greg had spent three hours by her bedside that day and while he had babbled a load of nonsense about his latest failure at speed dating he had lovingly drawn smiley faces inside every one of her sick bowls. At the time it had been irritating but it brought a smile to her face now in the darkness of the ward in the suffocating silence.

She drew a tired hand over her bump as she felt the movements of her baby. He was obviously tired of being stuck in hospital too. His kicks and wriggles had become almost painful stretched out on the bed and stared at the ceiling, imagining she was in her own comfortable, soft bed. They wouldn't let her out until she was able to eat, she wouldn't be able to eat until they provided her something edible and there wasn't a lot of leeway on the menu especially the vegetarian option. She was half tempted to order a burger and be done with it just so she could get home but then the mere thought of it made her throat retch.

Instead she spent her nights and her days hooked up to the IV whiling the hours away by counting the tiles on the ceiling and creating soap opera type stories for the doctors and nurses convalescing outside her room. She was fairly convinced that her nurse was having an affair with the attractive older doctor behind the radiographer's back and that the kid the receptionist kept bringing in was adopted.

Grissom had brought her a pile of books that she had foolishly raced through within the first couple of hours of her captivity. Her ability to speed read had been very beneficial in college but she wished she had learned how to read at a normal pace even if only to provide her with a little more distraction than normal.

Baby Grissom gave her a rough jolt in the ribs, momentarily taking her breath away and distracting her attention from the ceiling. He was certainly a restless baby, she wondered if Grissom was ever a 'typical' little boy. She struggled to picture him running across a school playground with a ball and scraped knee's, she imagined him to be more of the type to stand in the corner with a book observing the other children or examining an army of ants.

If that was the case then baby Grissom definitely took after her, she had been an inquisitive and adventurous child. When she wasn't at school she was avoiding being at home. She was always coming home filthy from climbing trees and exploring foxholes. She was certainly not a stereotypical girl by any measure.

The lights on the ward flickered on indicating it was officially morning in the hospital. 7am and pretty soon the ward would be a hive of activity. She envied the freedom most of the other patients had, she had been confined to bed for such a long time she was surprised she remembered how to walk. Her daily treks to the tiny bathroom attached to her room exhausted her but they at least proved that she still had the ability to walk on her own. Grissom and the medical team insisted she was wheeled everywhere in her wheelchair. She hated it, she longed to go for a run, yearned to feel the wind blowing through her hair and the rain on her face but until her blood pressure stopped skydiving every time she moved she was destined to spend her life in a chair or on a bed. No matter how much she protested.

Baby Grissom gave her another angry kick in the ribs that made her hunch over and grasp her side. The sudden effort made her really dizzy, like she had sat up too quickly and the room started to spin, lights flashed before her eyes and she blinked to try and clear her vision.

That was how the nurse found her; hunched over pulling slow breaths into her lungs as she tried to blink away the lights and suppress the black cloak threatening to descend over her consciousness.

"Sara? Is everything ok?"

She tried to nod, she really did but the kicks and jolts had given way to the most horrendously painful cramp she had ever experienced. And she was experienced in cramp.

The nurse quickly strapped her arm to the monitor and Sara glared at the cuff as it expanded around her scrawny arm. The machine burst into life, beating out the rhythm of her pulse and scratching the activity in her womb onto the chart spilling out of it. The nurse scribbled down her blood pressure figures and looked at her with wide eyes. Sara knew that look, she was tired of that look, that look that said she was about to receive yet more bad news.

"Have you been having these pains for long Sara?"

She had recovered enough to fall back on the bed and press her eyes closed. Lack of sleep and desperate dizziness made her sleepy, if it wasn't for the mini-boxer jumping around inside her she may have actually got some sleep last night. It took a lot of effort to hold her eyes open and tell the nurse they had been coming and going all night.

Without another word the nurse waved at a doctor through the window and met him at the door. Sara pulled herself into a seated position only to be overwhelmed by another cramp. Both the nurse and the doctor looked at her and then at each other. The nurse was first to speak, trying to keep her voice calm and quiet but Sara could hear them, it was her job to listen carefully, to read people's body language and decipher hidden messages. No amount of hushed tones could keep the words from burning into Sara's brain.

"I think we better call her husband in here"


	45. Chapter 45

**A/N: haha Wooo! I did it, I found my muse, she was hiding under a pile of smut called 'taste' ;-)  
>enjoy, leave me a review, live happy lives :D love you all! xxxx<strong>

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><p>Grissom's cellphone tone echoed off the walls like the clap of thunder, it took him several minutes to become conscious enough to register its presence and remember where he was. It was dull outside but definitely light and the incessant hum of traffic travelling past the condo filtered through the open window. He peeled his eyes open for a second before squeezing them closed again.<p>

He was tired. Ridiculously, bone tired. He had fell into bed at 9.30pm last night and for the first time in almost forever sleep had found him immediately, now he felt more tired than ever. He reached for his cell and glanced at the alarm clock by his bed. 8am, the last time he saw 8am in bed was when he worked grave. A sudden fear gripped him as his overtired brain finally caught up and he remembered his wife was still in hospital. There could only be one reason for his cell to be ringing at 8am. Something was wrong.

"Grissom?"

He listened intently as the nurse spoke, his world was beginning to spin as he felt that all too familiar panic rising in his chest but he coached himself to control it and began gathering his things with the handset firmly placed under his chin. He couldn't begin to register all the information he was receiving, he caught snippets, words here and there that would float around in his brain as though they were taunting him. 'Contractions, blood pressure, abruption, surgery' they didn't really mean anything to him but they scared him all the same. They gave him that deep feeling of dread he got when he knew something bad was going to happen.

"I'll be right there. Thank you"

He pulled his pants on with so much haste he had them backwards and sighed in exasperation when he realized he was taking twice as long to get dressed than he normally would. Stupid things were holding him back like missing the switch for the lamp numerous times or forgetting to open the garage door before getting into the car.

The traffic was similarly obstructive, there seemed to be queues in every direction. An accident on the highway, roadwork's all over town, a funeral cortege snaking its way towards the cemetery, it took all his self-control not to floor it the wrong way up the highway just to get there quicker.

His mind reeled with the possibilities. The nurse's soothing voice had attempted to reassure him but while he had been dazed and confused he hadn't been paying too much attention and therefore had really no idea of the situation he was rushing to get to.

He wasn't sure she had mentioned blood but it as blood he was picturing. He was remembering Sara lying on the trolley with her pale clammy skin and her weak limp hands, he was picturing the huge loss of blood and the way her eyes didn't focus properly and he was thinking about his son. His little boy who had been beating lumps out of his hand through Sara's skin just 12 hours ago.

Would he survive in the outside world this soon? He knew the statistics weren't in his favor. The books all said 23 weeks was viable, that by that stage the baby had developed enough to be considered 'alive' in the eyes of the law. By comparison then 27 weeks was good. He tried to remember the pointless facts he had read about week 27, it had been their reading topic the day before and now for some reason he couldn't remember one single word he had read on those pages.

He pulled into the road leading to the hospital like a rally driver, the wheel's dug into the asphalt and sent a shower of tiny stones scattering all over the sidewalk. He screeched around the corner only to be met by a line of kindergarten kids crossing the road with the help of a crossing guard. He sighed to himself cursing that fact that everything seemed to be against him today. He drummed his hands impatiently on the steering wheel and shifted in his seat, watching as what appeared to be a never-ending supply of children filtered across the road in front of him. Finally the last child was walking across; he assumed his position and moved the car into drive in anticipation.

The girl got halfway across the road before she stopped and chatted to the crossing patrolman and then ran back to retrieve her abandoned book. She gaily skipped her way back to the road and Grissom was ready with his foot on the accelerator about to floor it and throw his car into the hospital parking lot, only before she was clear of the road her shoe fell off. The crossing patrolman waved a hand in his direction before he went to the little girl's assistance, laughing as she ran off to catch up with the rest of her class mates.

Grissom was not laughing, with every passing second he was becoming more and more anxious, with every delay he was more and more likely to smash something out of frustration. He knew it was a wasted emotion, he knew it was likely to do nothing but raise his blood pressure to boiling point and make him pass out again but anger, love and fear were very closely linked emotions and right now he was over-run by them all.

He abandoned his car somewhere between the parking lot and a mound of grass. He was sure he would come back to a pile of tickets and a wheel clamp but that was a risk he was willing to take.

He stepped through the hospital following the same path he took every day. through the automatic doors, nod to Jeff behind the security desk, wait for the elevator, step aside for the mass exodus of visitors and nurses, wait for everyone to choose their floors…. It was the same old routine and yet he felt like he was watching it from a different perspective, like he was detached somehow.

He stepped into the third floor corridor and made a beeline for the nurses' station, they beamed at him as they greeted him and it irritated him an immense amount. He was here fearing for the life of his wife and son and they had the audacity to smile at him? He wasn't very sure why he went to the nurse's station anyway, he knew where her room was. He had been there every day for what felt like a lifetime.

She was asleep when he crept into the room, two nurses loitered around her bed pressing buttons on the machine and adjusting the wires coming from her abdomen with a concerned look. His heart felt like it was skipping in circles as he sunk into the chair and held her hand. It felt clammy and limp just like he had envisioned, he was overwhelmed with fear but infinitely glad there was no blood.

"We're just waiting on the consultant coming down with the sonogram machine"

He was suddenly struck by the fact that she was lying on her side; Sara had hated lying on her side all through her pregnancy. She had taken to propping herself up with mountains of hospital pillows and drifting off almost vertical.

"Why is she on her side? She can't sleep like that"

The nurses exchanged a worried look.

"We lose the babies heartbeat when she lies on her back, there's a build-up of pressure from somewhere. We need to scan and see what's going on."

He looked at his sleeping wife and clutched onto her hand a little tighter. As soon as she got better, as soon as she got out of this hospital he intended to hold her, properly hold her in his arms as tightly as he could. As he watched her sleep, wondering what tumultuous dreams were torturing her subconscious he uttered a silent vow to never let her go again.


	46. Chapter 46

She was aware of being turned in her bed and the bulge of her tummy seemingly towering above her. They had doped her up on drugs again, she couldn't remember consenting to anything like that but then she couldn't remember much right now apart from the pain. The pain was gone now although it was becoming obvious that her muscles were still clenching and clamping down on her little baby. She could see it even if she couldn't feel it. She was certain she had seen the imprint of a tiny foot the last time but that could be down to the drugs.

It was a strange sensation, like everything was underwater. The room seemed to flow around her, people moved ridiculously slowly as she watched them through heavy eyelids and they spoke as though they were in a different dimension entirely.

She was aware of Grissom's hand clutching hers as tightly as he dared, she could almost feel the sense of fear radiating out of him as he watched her. She tried to turn her head to look at him, to send some reassurance into those eyes but for some reason she was weak, so weak that even turning her head was proving almost impossible.

The doctor was speaking to Grissom, he was stood over her and she had her eyes firmly fixed on his lips in an attempt to lip read. She had decided it was an impossible thing to learn, she had been trying for years and had gotten nowhere fast and she was still getting nowhere. If she had the energy she would roll her eyes and look away but she seemed to be transfixed on the doctor's lips. she did wonder why morphine made her react this way, she had heard people saying it had no effect on them, that they continued to feel fully conscious and in control with the only effect being the absence of pain. She wondered if it was possible they kept giving her too much, it wasn't fun for a control freak to be so helpless.

They had their hands on her again and suddenly Grissom was hovering over her. His voice was muffled but she could make it out if she concentrated really, really hard.

"They're going to scan the baby and see what's going on. It'll be ok, I promise"

It surprised her that she was able to pull enough energy from somewhere to nod at him. His hand gently stroked the mass of her stomach, she was sure it hadn't been that huge this morning. Her son seemed to grow insanely quickly while she slept. Sara was by no means a large framed woman; her visions of a 15lb baby did nothing to calm her shattered nerves.

The jelly was cold on her abdomen, the baby shifted out of the vicinity of the disturbance which, although not painful, was incredibly uncomfortable. Yet it was reassuring, to know that even with all this chaos going on around them he was ok. He was moving and feeling and responsive.

The image on the screen was difficult to distinguish. The shadows swirled and moved in sync with the movements inside her and the doctor chatted to her husband. She didn't pay any attention to what they were saying; she watched the baby on the screen as it wriggled in and out of focus. It still seemed surreal to her, her baby on that screen. It was only a matter of time before her baby was in her arms, only a matter of time before she was a mother. That baby swimming around on the screen would rely on her for everything. Parental responsibility, it was an incredibly daunting prospect.

"I'm not ready" her voice rasped and scratched and while her brain told her to shout it, physically she was only capable of a whisper. They ignored her, consumed in their own discussion and dismissing her sounds as part of a drug induced hallucination and that was incredibly frustrating.

"I'm not ready!" she cried, this one came out exactly like she hoped and suddenly all eyes were on her. The doctor and the nurses and Grissom, they were _all_ looking at her.

"I can't do it yet, I'm not ready" tears strained at her eyes as Grissom took the chair by her side and clutched her hand. He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed each one of her fingers gently, his thumb running over the top of her hand like a feather. It was a familiar gesture to her, a calming gesture reserved for times like these when she needed to know she had his unwavering support.

"It's alright, it's not time yet." She raised her eyes to meet his; she probably should have been listening to the doctors before she spoke up. "Your sugars are elevated and he's growing a little bit too fast, pressing down on his cord. That's all"

"He's not coming? I've had contractions…" she pressed Grissom's hand against her belly as her muscles clamped once more. A small nurse carefully wiped the gel from the sonogram from her stomach with a soft reassuring smile.

"We'll be monitoring those, it looks like pre-labor. They are called Braxton Hicks; in women with good muscle tone they can be very powerful"

She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or terrified that this wasn't the real thing. The contractions she had been having were powerful enough to floor her and she had genuinely believed she had a high pain tolerance.

The next few weeks passed surprisingly slowly. A steady stream of visits kept her occupied throughout the day and the stack of books by her bed grew and grew as did her stomach. Grissom dutifully sat by her side day in, day out and told her tales of the stack of baby things getting delivered mysteriously to his door ever morning. He knew, of course, that this was down to the laptop perched on her bedside and her ability to memorize their credit card numbers. What she wanted more than anything was to see it for herself, she wanted to run her hands over the soft blankets and smell the new furniture smell. She wanted to help paint the walls and hang up the tiny clothes. It was all part of having a baby, or it should be anyway. Her pregnancy had so far been a mess of disasters and a long, long hospital stay that seemed to stretch on forever.

The end was in sight though, she could feel it coming. She could feel the change in the shape of her bump and the pressure shift lower. Her pelvis felt like it was splitting in two whenever she stood up and tried to move around which was irritating because she had never been the kind of person who was capable of sitting still and doing nothing for any length of time.

Her blood sugar had been fluctuating between normal and high, they were reluctant to diagnose gestational diabetes in her case especially since they were so closely monitoring her diet and the baby's growth. He seemed to be on a constant growth spurt, reaching the 5lb mark by the time she hit 30 weeks.

It was 3 weeks later she felt the biggest change. Overnight her son stopped punching lumps out of her and stilled and not only that but the pre-contractions that had become routine faded away to nothing more than a mild cramp. The doctors reassured her that as baby grew he would run out of space and stop moving so much.

Grissom brought photographs of the new nursery, he and Nick had spent the past week decorating and getting everything ready. It was hard to be out of the loop, it was hard to be detached from such an important time but she had to admit they had done an amazing job.

She smiled as she spotted Grissom dozing off in the chair, he had clearly showered before he came to the hospital, and she could smell the soap and see the moisture as it curled his hair. He had missed a bit though, a thick streak of paint clung to a clump of his hair behind his ear.

It felt like she was heaving a whale out of that bed, her whole body was tired and heavy as she slipped her legs out of the bed and to the floor. Grissom's head fell back against the chair; he probably wasn't sleeping very well at home. It must be just as hard to be the person waiting at home for news as it was to be the one in hospital.

As she stood up and reached out to the streak of paint she suddenly felt the pressure in her lower abdomen literally fall out. A massive rush of fluid splashed onto the floor and in the shock her legs seemed to give way under her. Grissom woke with a start just in time to reach out his arms and prevent her from clattering to the floor.

The contractions were back with a vengeance only this time there was absolutely no mistaking it, this time it was happening for real.


	47. Chapter 47

_**A/N: As promised I have updated. I can't promise its any good BUT I was really keen for the actual birth to be Sara's POV so I had to reign this back slightly. Will get right to work on that so its up really soon and that will be Trapped complete. Looking for name suggestions for baby boy as I have yet to make that decision ;o) go ahead, drop me a review! xxx**_

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><p>The sheer panic washing over him was like nothing he had ever felt before. This was it, the big moment. The day that would change his life forever and he did not have a single clue how he should be acting. He gently repositioned Sara on the bed and reached for the call button, she had other ideas though. Her hand clutched at his shirt as another contraction gripped her body and she threw her head back against the bed.<p>

It was almost physically painful to see her like that, the pain she was in obvious in her darkened, desperate eyes. She was scared too, he could see that in her eyes, the fear, the concern, she almost pleaded for reassurance but he couldn't give it to her. He was so terrified himself that words simply wouldn't form.

"Well then, looks like today is a good day to be born" declared a ridiculously upbeat doctor as she strode into the room and hooked up one of Sara's machines. It sprung to life with the powerful thudding of their son's heartbeat. It never ceased to bring a tear to his eye every time he heard it chugging away like a little train.

"What do you know?" hissed Sara, her whitened knuckles grasping the sides of the bed while she suppressed the latest wave of spasms to grip her. Grissom searched the doctor's expression for her reaction, trying to decide whether he should be apologizing for his wife's behavior or not but she simply continued to read the monitor without a whisper of emotion. She was probably very used to irate, over emotional women in labor spouting all kinds of insults and profanities.

"Everything looks good" she smiled at Grissom before turning back to Sara and sliding a stool to the foot of the bed "mind if I take a look?"

"Do I have a choice?" Sara almost growled, he gently ran his thumb over her palm in an attempt to calm her but only granted himself a scowl. She turned back to the doctor and threw herself back on the bed as the contraction subsided "be my guest"

Sara's hand nestled in his as she pressed her eyes closed. His heart was racing out of control, he was filled with so many emotions he found it hard to focus his attention. His eyes took in the splendor of her profile. Even fighting off the pain of the contractions she was radiant. The doctor was busying herself under the blankets and emerged with a warm smile.

"Ok, we're 4cms. That counts as established but you could still be looking at a long stretch"

"Please tell me you're kidding" Sara cried as she clasped her abdomen and tried to breathe through the pain. The doctor washed her hands at the sink before turning to look them over with a measured smile. Sara rolled her eyes and lay back against the pillows as she awaited the inevitable explanation of the laboring process. Grissom remembered reading all about it only a few days ago but seeing it unfold in front of his eyes every little nugget of information he had absorbed evaporated into thin air.

"for a first baby I'm afraid the norm is about an hour for each centimeter and you need to make it to 10" her expression softened as Sara screwed her face up and pushed back against the bed, the peak of her contraction making speech impossible. He felt incredibly helpless; he really had no purpose in the room. Sara was valiantly fighting the urge to squeeze his hand until she crushed his fingers and the doctor seemed to have the monitoring under control. He was a spare wheel, an unnecessary ornament pushed into the corner. His only purpose was to observe and utter reassurances on cue, maybe clutch her hand or wipe the sweat from her brow but he was sure that after 3, 4, 5 hours of labor his reassurances would sound more like insults and the already irate Sara would be positively breathing fire.

"I won't do this for 6 hours; I can't do this for 6 hours. Gil… he'll just have to stay in"

He probably shouldn't have laughed at her pleading; she grasped his hand and met his eye with a desperation he had never seen from her before. The helpless feeling gripped him again and he shook his head slowly, his hand instinctively reaching out to stroke the soft skin on her cheek. Her eyes pressed closed, she tilted her head to relax into his embrace as the latest contraction washed away.

"He's not staying in I'm afraid" piped up the doctor, breaking through their little moment with her chirpy voice. "You are going to be a mommy by the end of the day!"

She disappeared out of the room leaving Sara staring after her open mouthed "a mommy?" she whispered to no-one in particular. Grissom dipped his head to meet her eye and smiled. He nodded, she seemed shocked. Like the concept of being someone's mommy had only just occurred to her. Like she had never pondered how it would feel to hear those words out loud. "I'm going to be a mommy… me?"

"Sara… we've had this conversation already"

"Ooooh" a particularly strong contraction coursed over her and she almost bent herself in half in her attempt to control it "he already hates me Gil!"

"He doesn't hate you Sara!" he would have laughed if it wasn't blatantly obvious she was suffering, the doctor returned with a huge canister and a tube. She wheeled it over to the side of the bed and hooked it up as she watched Sara struggling.

"Would you inflict this much pain on someone you loved?" Sara breathed using every last whisper of breath she had left as she clenched her jaw and gritted her teeth. She was writhing about the bed in an attempt to find a position that didn't hurt. Grissom rubbed her back, propped pillows around her and otherwise tried to be as helpful yet unobtrusive as he could.

"Get some of this in you, will knock the edge right off those contractions!" smiled the doctor, handing Sara a thick tube. "Deep breaths in through the nose out through the mouth"

He watched as Sara followed her instructions, she breathed in the gas like it was the elixir of life, holding her breath until she was sure it had taken full effect. With a slow release of breath she leaned back on the mountain of pillows, allowing her eyelids to become heavy but it was short lived, another contraction gripped her body and she clamped down on the tube with her teeth.

The tube was discarded, thrown in his direction with a muttering about it being useless. He simply held onto it, not really knowing what to do while she worked through her pain. All of a sudden she was swinging her legs out of the bed and she took off out of the room leaving Grissom and the doctor staring after her bewildered.

"Sara… where are you going? Get back in here"

"I can't just lie there Gil, this helps. This is good."

So they paced, up and down the corridor, back and forth for the longest time. Every now and then she would pause to lean against the wall and heave breath in through her teeth as the pain gripped her but all in all she was coping well. Grissom merely paced beside her, rubbing her back or holding her hand where appropriate. Offering her water every few minutes and taking the calming smiles of the nurses at face value.

People passed them in an almost constant stream. Some were arriving with nervous smiles or massive bumps, others leaving with tiny bundles and beaming smiles. There were grandparents and friends and brothers and sisters, balloons and flowers and gifts adorned with pink or blue bows and ribbons. They exchanged understanding glances as they passed by, not daring to lock eyes with Sara for fear of their lives. The doctor emerged after an hour, tentatively asking Sara to come back to the room for a check-up. The vicious glare Sara rewarded her with didn't even phase her gentle persuasion towards the room and although she grumbled the entire way they made it to the room and Sara fell back heavily against the pillows.

The doctor busied herself examining Sara while Grissom looked on from his position across the room. She may have been panting and sweating, her hair may have been clinging to her face as she gripped the sides of the bed and tried not to move around but she still looked incredibly beautiful to him. He often had moments of sheer amazement, moments where he had to take a deep breath and steel himself for a second; this was one of those moments. A moment where pure emotion overwhelmed him, this was the day his child would be born. He would be holding his son in his arms in a matter of hours; he didn't think it would be possible for him to love her any more than he did then.

"Ok, good you're almost 5cms" the doctor declared.

He knew before she even spoke that Sara would not be pleased with this turn of events.

"Seriously? Seriously? One lousy cm?" she cried, now he felt like he could be useful. He could talk her down steal the rant about to escape her lips, he could reassure her and hold her hand and tell her everything would be ok.

He moved across the room and took her hand in his with a soft smile, hoping he was expressing what he needed to but her narrowed eyes told him he wasn't to utter a word. He was back to being a decoration in the corner of the room, serving no purpose but observing and occasionally grasping her hand as a reminder that he was still there.


	48. Chapter 48

**A/N: Oooooo look what happened today when I tried to write something else! As it turns out when I am utterly depressed and heartbroken I'm much better at writing fluff! Go figure! ANYWHO I'm ending it here. It feels like a good place to say goodbye to this story and it is super-cute if I do say so myself. I want to thank everyone for your reviews and support, this story has AMAZED me with its response – you guys are amazing. And on that note all you lurkers out there, here's your chance to make your feelings known one last time!**

**all my regular readers (you know who you are) I actually love you guys **mwah** xxx**

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><p>Rocking back and forth on the bed seemed to help, the movement made the pain more manageable although it did make her look a bit like a crazy person. Every few minutes she felt an overwhelming urge to go to the bathroom and by the time she got there – nothing. This whole labor thing was becoming too much of an inconvenience. No one would give her a time scale, she was trying her best to avoid pain medication and Grissom looked utterly terrified sitting in his corner clutching the nitrous oxide nozzle between his hands.<p>

The contractions started on her lower back, they built quickly from a niggling cramp up to a debilitating paralysis of her muscles. Each one was stronger and lasted longer than the previous on and each time she declared outwardly that it wasn't possible they could get any worse.

"this has got to be over soon" she breathed as another contraction washed away, they left her breathless and weak, tiredness was setting in to the point that her head felt heavy and her limbs could barely move. "It's been at least 4 hours"

Grissom and the doctor exchanged a look that told her it was nowhere near 4 hours yet, even if it felt like it to her. She barely had time to catch her breath before the next contraction burst on her like an explosion and this one was accompanied by a pressure she couldn't resist, a strange animalistic urge that frightened her so much she clutched the side of the bed for support.

"Oh I need to push!" her voice was high pitched from both the pain and the shock.

Grissom and the doctor shot from their chairs and darted across to her Grissom gathered her in his arms and held her and the doctor placed one hand on Sara's solid bump. She simply nodded at Grissom, pressed the call button and they both helped Sara onto the bed.

"This is it Sara, we're going to have to take it real slow so we don't rupture those delicate blood networks ok?"

Sara nodded, her hand wound around the fabric of Grissom's shirt sleeve so tight she was sure his fingers were turning purple. Almost the second one contraction eased another began building its way up across her body and despite the doctors instructions she couldn't fight the natural process of her body.

It was a relief, although it caused its own kind of pain she knew it was coming to an end. The feeling of surrendering to her body's own natural instincts was almost a spiritual experience. It was totally out with her control, at this moment in time she couldn't stop her muscles pushing the baby out no matter how hard she tried.

Nurses filled the room, one of the pushing a tiny plastic tub on a huge trolley surrounded by wires. That would be her baby's first bed; the first thing he would see when he woke from his sleep would be the bright UV lamp above him replenishing his bilirubin, or the heat lamps increasing his body temperature. It was generally accepted that he would be underweight, that he would lack some essential nutrients he should have got from her blood stream and that he would need to be taken to special care pretty quickly after his birth.

He had had a rough ride already, he wasn't even technically considered alive yet.

"You're doing great Sara, try and take it easier for me on the next push?"

The fat that she was even speaking escaped Sara's attention, it was as though everything else in the room had vanished. Another contraction wound its way up her body clenching her muscles and forcing her to bear down and the nurses were suddenly surrounding the bottom of the bed. She gave Grissom a worried glance but his face broke into a smile and the strange limbo she had been in faded away so she could hear him telling her the baby was almost crowning.

With the next contraction she felt it though, one mighty push and a horrific burning sensation built up. the doctor was telling her to hold position and slowly pant the baby out, the idea seemed ridiculous but it seemed to work, the pressure eased and tears strained Grissom's eyes as he watched on, squeezing her hand lightly as he smiled down at her. The pride and awe in his eyes was beautiful.

"Ok couple more pushes and you can hold your son!"

With a new determination Sara surrendered completely to her body's power, two more contractions and the doctor heaved a tiny grey bundle onto her chest and draped a blanket over them both. She practically ripped open Sara's nightdress so that the baby was pressed against her skin and she furiously rubbed his tiny back. Within a few seconds they heard the most beautiful sound anyone could ever hear, that precious first cry. The wailing of a newly born child as he confirmed his existence in this world.

"Would you lie to cut the cord Daddy?"

For a second Grissom looked bewildered by the very idea but he reached out his hand and took the surgical scissors slicing through her son's last physical link to her, he placed his hand gently over his crying son. He could almost cover his entire body with one hand.

He looked into her eyes with that expression again, that new expression of love she had never seen before. She was exhausted, completely drained of life and yet strangely invigorated at the same time.

"I am so proud of you!" he whispered in her ear as he kissed her lightly on the head, his hand didn't move from the now sleeping bundle on her chest, apparently he found his father's strong hands cradling him comforting. She would have to bear that in mind.

"We need to take baby away now" the doctor matched their hushed tones and smiled a reassuring smile at them both "we'll just do some checks and I promise he can come back shortly"

Grissom took a step back and the baby stirred slightly, burrowing into her chest seeking warmth and comfort. Sara stroked a gentle hand across the feathery skin of his back, his skin seemed so fragile, like it would tear if she touched it too hard, his whispers of dark hair clung to his head and a line of furry down hair followed his spine. She had never laid eyes on anything so perfect.

When they took him away she felt like there was a gaping hole where he should be, a strong sense of loss waved over her and the exhaustion and sheer emotion of the past few hours hit her like a tsunami. Tears rolled down her cheeks and sobs escaped her throat, Grissom held her close to his chest and stroked her hair until they stopped and they nurses were finished with her.

With shaking legs she staggered to the shower, she really didn't want to shower. The only thing she wanted to do was sleep, her whole body wanted her to sleep, it ached for sleep but the nurses had been very persistent she needed to shower. As she grudgingly stood under the steaming hot stream of water she realized this may very well be the best most amazing shower she had ever had in her entire life.

She emerged from the bathroom dressed in pajamas and wrapped in a fluffy robe, her hair already beginning to curl in the warmth as the nurses wheeled her to her room. They brought her food and she sunk into the bed, the pillows felt like clouds helping her float off into her dreams as he husband gently stroked his thumb across her hand.

When she woke she absentmindedly stroked her hands across her stomach. She was surprised her bump was gone, the strange wobbling jelly of a stomach she now had just wasn't the same as the comforting presence of her baby safely wrapped in his womb. She spotted the cot at the end of her bed, vacant of any life and a fear gripped her heart. When she turned her eyes to Grissom an entirely new feeling gripped her heart and it was a feeling of so much love she felt like it might burst. He was cradling his tiny son in his arms, a beaming smile on his face and tears in his eyes as tiny pink fingers curled around his fingertip and the baby's little nose wrinkled and relaxed.

"Oh look, your mommy's awake" he whispered with a soft smile in her direction "she always looks that beautiful in the morning"

"Well daddy always looks like this too, wide awake and one step ahead"

Grissom carefully passed her the tiny bundle and she gasped in awe as she felt his weight in her arms, she didn't think she'd honestly ever witness this moment.

"He's ok?" she asked it cautiously because in all honesty she was scared of the answer. He was already a miracle; to be flawless was almost too much to ask for.

"A little underweight but nothing that can't be cured"

Tears stung at her eyes as she looked down on his tiny features. His eyes pressed together, his miniscule little nose, the way his lips puckered ever so slightly in his sleep, his tiny perfect fingers already covered with his own unique fingerprints, his long scrawny legs and ridiculously tiny feet.

"He's amazing"

"Of course he is, look at his mother" he smiled and placed his hand on her leg. "I've been thinking about names…"

The thought had never occurred to her, she was simply glad he was here and he was safe and she could hold him and breathe in that incredible new baby scent people always spoke about, so she just nodded, knowing that whatever he said she would agree with anyway since she had no alternative to argue.

"What do you think about Arthur?"

"As in Conan Doyle?" she grinned, it seemed like an ingenious idea to her.

"Well, that was my father's name…" he offered, a sadness tainting his voice

"I couldn't think of a better name for our son Gil, Arthur Warrick Grissom has a nice ring to it. Don't you think?"

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><p><strong>an I actually have no idea if Grissom's fathers name is in fact Arthur but I have it in my head it is for some unknown reason! forgive me if its all wrong! xx**


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